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Unknown Tribe of Hillbillies found in Tennessee Hills
Today in a lost region of America, an entire race of hillbillies have been found and documented in the Tennessee Hills. Dubbed the Clampetts in honor of Jed Clampett from Beverly Hills, CA.
Palestinians Fire Over 80 Rockets At Southern Israel From Gaza
IDF returns fire using captured Palestinian prisoners in catapults..Israeli soldiers stated that this was their capture and release technique. Israel prefers not to hold our enemies.
LA Declares war on Sodas and Snacks
Today LA Mayor Antonio R. Villaraigosa removed all soda and snack machines from parks, libraries and schools. He calls it "Keep our kids off liposuction" campaign. LA plastic surgeons drop support.
Most Arrogant Man In The World
Today's competition is between President Barack Obama, Eric Holder, Johnny Depp, Alec Baldwin and Vice President Joe Biden. Today's winner is PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA..
Eric Holder sticks to his guns and shoots from the hip.
US AG Eric Holder upon receiving his contempt charge, dropped his pants and pissed on Rep. Darryl Issa. He shouted, "Now this is contempt." Issa fired back, "No that's too small for contempt."
Michigan School Union Demands Members Bank Account, Credit Card Numbers To Guarantee Union Leaders Vacations
Debbie Bence, president of the Plymouth-Canton Association, sent a letter to her union members on June 4 stating that dues had to be paid early so union leaders could go on vacation to Hawaii.
Anti-Romney "Protesters" Being Paid To Heckle…
Two protesters said they were getting paid to stand outside of a Romney rally. One woman said she and another man said he was paid $17 per hour. SEIU and David Axelrod were seen leaving the event.
Democratic Party Makes an Astounding Announcement on Mitt Romney
The Democrat Party issued a statement concerning Mitt Romney. Their statement is, "HE'S WHITE," and left it at that. Voters were amazed to find out the Republican candidate is white.
First Lady Charged With Solicitation
Michelle Obama is being charged by the FBI for soliciting money. The First Lady sent out an email to supporters requesting money in $3 increments. The FBI attempts to connect others with the scam.
President Obama hospitalized by Michelle Obama
President Obama is listed in fair condition today after being admitted to Georgetown University Hospital. His injuries are the result of a beating at the hands of First Lady who kept saying "OPRAH!"
The First Lady Challenges Oprah Winfrey to a Deathmatch
Today, First Lady Michelle Obama challenged talk show host Oprah Winfrey to a death match. The First Lady's challenge to Oprah is due to a picture that surfaced showing Oprah groping President Obama.
Talk Show Host Marries Dog
Bill Maher, host of Real Time, decided after 5 years of companionship it was time to marry his best friend. The 7-year old pitbull named Precious was so excited she urinated on the alter.
Democrats Force Zombie Food Stamp Bill Through Both houses
In an outstanding display of trickery not seen since the passing of the Affordable Healthcare Act, Democrats passed the Zombie Food Stamp Act in a close vote. Zombies everywhere are ecstatic..
Obama Campaign Misrouted
Obama campaign manager Axelrod confirmed Air Force One was misdirected to Tehran Iran instead of a function in Chicago Illinois. All aboard, including President Obama, were arrested as spies.
Special Addition to South Carolina Zombie Shoot
Just breaking, the zombies of several Al-Qaeda members have been captured and sent to South Carolina. The zombies will be used in a special "Hunt Achmed the Dead Terrorists Friends" event.
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