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Spoof Writer Lost in Time
The clock is bust. A new day begins. Who expects to get the straight time of day from a satire manufacturer?
Five Astronomers Contact ET; Arrested for Logan Act violation.
Pretty Big Array (PBA) Truth or Consequences NMFive Govt scientists were arrested today after sending a reply to galaxy M101, a clear Logan Act no no.
Now they're a gang, and they're going to jail.
woman brings live World War II Shell for Valuation on Antique Roadshow
Ripoff, Yorkshire-It was a tense moment for BBC1 on Thursday last,when housewife Molly Schreiber plopped it down before presenter Breanna Aspers "Didn't quite make it to the loo in time, I'm afraid"
Today Is Global Wind Day
Break some with someone you love!
Hijacked "Bilderburger" Being Tracked by American Military Satellites: Why?
The American military has taken a special interest in what otherwise would have been a historical footnote - the recent hijacking of the Bilderburger by Amish Pirates - has everyone guessing. Drones?
Huge Asteroid to Advertise Auto Insurance-where is that guy Mayhem?
How's your collision comprehensive? You'll find out Thursday night. Forget duck and cover. 2012LZ1 will sell you something. Maybe a new pair of shorts?
Warsaw files Suit against Gallop: Stop using our name!
Are you a Poll or a Pole? Warsaw doesn't know and doesn't care, as long as they call the whole process of asking skewed questions something else. The new name? WULZ. Don't step in it.
Thor's Hammer Found on "American Roadshow"
"This is the hammer that came down on top of Capt. America's shield to pronounce everything 'Sold'" said noted auctioneer, Web Stollen.
"You know you could get killed for having this…"
Prague Circus Owner Arrested, Charged
"The Bouncing Czechs," need no introduction, Milord . . .
Donald Trump's Birther Problem
"He wasn't born here, that's for sure!" screamed Bronx cabbie Lenny "Legs" Luggins. "Try Queens!"
The Problem of Being One in a Million -
-is that in China there are at least a thousand others just like you.
Fish Juggling Contest Cancelled
Smelter Springs, Maryland-Today's fish juggling contest has been cancelled, as none of the fish caught for the event can actually juggle.
"Night Lake Inspector" found to be a real job!
"Night Lake Inspector" found to be a real job!
Late, great columnist Mike Royko specialized in the Chicago political machine. Turns out he was right! Slats Grobneck knew!
Click on US headlines.
Bilderburger Finals from Chantilly VA: The House Loses Big Time!
Westfield Marriott won by anonymous Dutch trader.
New "Line of Demarcation" hammered out, straight and flat.
"Is Vienna Burning?" Maybe. News or Sports? Neither really, but "News" will do.
"Destitution" To Become Illegal in Colorado?
Is it possible to become a "practicing destitute"?
It could be if the statehouse has its way. Penalties for being poor could be traded for hours of work at CO manufacturers. Watch all Hell bust out.
Latest scores from the Bilderburger Monopoly Championships and Peasant Roast from the Westfield Marriott:
LIVE BACK DOOR FEED - DuPont w/Boardwalk, Park Place & 3 Marriott's plus a casino. No Free Parking at this level.Valet only. Baltic Avenue in flames. Illinois Av underwater.Germany up next w/big boot.
Repeal the Logan Act?
Repeal the Logan Act? Exemption for "Duty Employees" in the works?
Demonstration by families of Secret Service agents, hotel employees in Lafayette Park! Click news tab before they pull your plug!
Mayan Discovery a Game Changer?
"Asterisks" Found in both Dresden Codex and Guatemala.
Archaeologists Ready to Punt over "Puente". Down for the "Long Count"?
READ ALL ABOUT IT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!To the Magazine Section, quick!
Wagner's Last Opera Found in Venice attic!
Gotterdamerung it all, doesn't this guy ever quit?
Gala Premiere in Bayreuth Festspielhaus under Pierre Boulez
Details in magazine section.
Long-Awaited IPO: RUBBER KEYHOLE (RK)
Move over Facebook! THE STREET has been waiting for this one since Skeesix broke the story in Gasoline Alley in the 30s.
RK is a maker of "soft access systems" according to the prospectus. But $38?
North Pole Purchased by Russian Oligarchs
A Consortium of rich, fat guys has bought the North Pole and are attempting a foreclosure on its only occupants, a Mr. and Mrs. S. Clause. Who the sellers think they are is not clear at this time.
International Date Line Malfunctions - Gets Jump Start from U.S. Navy
June 1, was a little late. The end of May came but got stuck in the middle of the Pacific-that is, until the Pacific Fleet opened up and "saved the day". EOM Reports are due 6/31 and nobody's rushing.
Pyramids to Go on US Tour This Summer!
GIZA - The Egyptian Eisenhower, Howie Sawass, found the right switch and hit it. Tickets available at Ticketmaster.
Moon To Close for Repairs - light to go out Sunday
NASA has announced recently that the Moon will undergo repairs Sunday, June 3. At issue is the moons albedo, or reflective capacity, in steep decline since 2008. The repairs will be done at night.
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