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Coalition dissolves itself after Government
vows to outlaw arranged marriages
A Diamond Jubilee Assassin was arrested
at Heathrow Airport yesterday. It is believed he was tempted out of retirement by the recent price rise on the Queens Head to 60p
Clinton Cards saved from closure
after a dramatic sales increase in its'Sorry You Lost Your Job section
Summer Pipe Ban Still In Effect
Old man with moustache still not allowed to smoke in his local.
IMF Boss Comments On Austerity
George Osborne responded;"What does a Fertility Clincian know about it anyway".
FACEBOOKS' shares took
another battering yesterday, wiping a further 9% of the smile from Zuckerbergs' face.
Fury As Alzheimer Centre To Close
"Forgive and forget" urges Government spokesman.
Government Plans To Slash Workers Rights
Backing Beecrofts' plan, Cameron said;"Ultimately, our aim is for 100% unemployment before the next election. We feel these proposals go a long way toward achieving this".
2012 0lympics Venue Change
Due to budget restraints the 2012 0lympics will now be held on two consecutive Wednesdays in the function room of The Carpenters Arms
DFS SALE.........LIMITED TIME ONLY
DFS announce latest sale in run up to Christmas...........
Order before 01/06/12 for guaranteed delivery
Police Issue Following Statement
Don't Stand So
Don't Stand So
Don't Stand So
Close To Me
Tory MPs In Gay Marriage Revolt
Tory Back Bench MP quoted as saying;"One Un-Holy alliance is enough"
Buckingham Palace Sex Scandal
An unnamed source rumoured to be close to the Royal Household said;'We are not amused".
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