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Beggers Belief

Did you know that SAS operatives do not believe in Christmas?

written by Backandtotheleft, 24 December 2013
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The Meaning Of Christmas

Did you know that "Christmas" comes form the Latin words "Christ" and "Mass" meaning "Fear of being chased down the street by a giant Jesus

written by Backandtotheleft, 24 December 2013
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Children Of The Royal's!

There is going to be a 24 page royal baby pull out in the Sun on Sunday. Don't we normally call a book full of pictures of children.....evidence?

written by Backandtotheleft, 27 July 2013
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Royal Baby Appears

"The Royal baby has appeared and it's a, it's a....it's devouring the crowd run for your lives" BATTL News at the Royal birth

written by Backandtotheleft, 22 July 2013
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That Strange Smell

A study has found that customers spend 20% more time in shops that smell of oranges but 80% less time in ones that smell of shit.

written by Backandtotheleft, 13 December 2012
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The Smiths Suck

Johnny Marr from The Smiths inspired a generation of musicians...to shoot themselves in the head.

written by Backandtotheleft, 23 November 2012
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Burn Jimmy Burn!

Jimmy Saviles nephew wants the council to burn his body. Now then, now then let's not get too far ahead here.

written by Backandtotheleft, 11 November 2012
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License To Look Stylish

Teenagers are to recruited by MI5 to become the next James Bonds. That's exactly what we need, a load of One Direction lookalikes with a license to kill.

written by Backandtotheleft, 19 October 2012
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Outrageous Argies

A top British diplomat called the Argentineans "Gay and Cowards" and he's in trouble. If he'd used the words "cheating, bastards" he'd get a medal.

written by Backandtotheleft, 17 October 2012
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Single Song

Tulisa's new single is called "Sight Of You" missing the words "Sick and the" I think.

written by Backandtotheleft, 14 October 2012
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A Penny For Your Thoughts And A Pound For Your Pants

Mums are now the main bread winners in 25% of British homes. On a different note prostitution is on the rise all over England.

written by Backandtotheleft, 11 October 2012
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Happy Meal Horror

A 5month year old boy was left behind on a table in a McDonald's restaurant in America. The mother obviously preferred the toy she got in the Happy meal.

written by Backandtotheleft, 11 October 2012
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Bull Beer

A beer made out of bulls testicles will go on sale in the US. Better than one made out of Bull shit I suppose.

written by Backandtotheleft, 11 October 2012
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A Coast Call

A tourist who dropped his I-Phone between rocks at the beach rang the Coastguard. Didn't realize voice activated control was so advanced.

written by Backandtotheleft, 09 October 2012
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Boris V Cameron

Boris Johnson said he might make a better PM that Cameron. Right now a dead squirrel on a stick would be a better PM than Cameron.

written by Backandtotheleft, 08 October 2012
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Job Woe

A global firm has said 9-5 jobs will be extinct within twenty five years. If they took a look at the job centre they'd know they were extinct now.

written by Backandtotheleft, 07 October 2012
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In Red Eds Head

19% of people think Ed Milliband is a strong leader and 81% of us think he's a backstabbing, power hungry shit who took his own brother out.

written by Backandtotheleft, 05 October 2012
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In Red Eds Head

19% of people think Ed Milliband is a strong leader and 81% of us think he's a backstabbing, power hungry shit who took his own brother out.

written by Backandtotheleft, 05 October 2012
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Loss of the Lawyers

Millions of pounds of British aid is being squandered on lawyer's fees. Many MPs sons are lawyers but this is completely co-incidental.

written by Backandtotheleft, 05 October 2012
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"Wheel Risk"

Research has found that texting while driving is the "top risk" at the wheel. Nah it's probably blowjobs a risk but a risk worth taking.

written by Backandtotheleft, 24 September 2012
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Nicks Knackered

Nick Clegg has apologized over not keeping pre election promises. Don't worry Nick nobody expected you too.

written by Backandtotheleft, 21 September 2012
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Occupy London

Unions say that public buildings should be occupied! Good idea let's give the staff their jobs back.

written by Backandtotheleft, 17 September 2012
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The Crying Game

Experts say sex may have a previously unknown affect on women's bodies. All I know is it makes my partners cry.

written by Backandtotheleft, 15 September 2012
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Children Of The Crown

Prince William has said he wants to have two children….one for weekdays and one for Sunday best.

written by Backandtotheleft, 13 September 2012
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