Showing snippets written by Les Being.
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Sky falls on News Corporation
Bystanders watch in amazement as Rebekah Brooks walks away unharmed
Animal rights protesters up in arms
Someone told them the FBI was probing Fox
Rooney's hair transplant fails.
Thirty grand, hair today gone tomorrow
Jennifer Aniston admits to nose job
As it was Dr Pinocchio who performed the surgery it would be silly to lie about it
Murdoch pulls out of BSkyB
When asked for a reason he said, "They just show the same old shit over and over again"
Police to charge journalists……..
more for information
Jamie Oliver quits Sainsbury's campaign after 11 years
Gordon Ramsay to fill void. In future Sainsbury's adverts to be screened after watershed
Pauline Quirke sheds six and a half stone in six months
This is the largest amount of ugly fat to be lost since Lenny Henry divorced Dawn French
Kay Burley refuses to make on-air apology to MP
She's a woman, what do you expect?
Are Astra satellites losing altitude?
Or to put it another way. Is the Sky falling in on Murdoch?
Newcastle's Joey Barton barred from US
Cheryl Cole asks; "What the F*ck do yanks have against Geordies?"
Sun defends brown Sauce
Sorry that should of read; Sun defends source of Brown story
Cameron jumps on Miliband wagon
That's it. The joke was in the headline.
Rising fuel price rocks Belfast
Belfast rioters forced to throw rocks instead of Molotov Cocktails due to sharp rise in petrol costs. Protesters say; "Gone are the days when petrol bombs were the cheapest option"
News Corporation share price plummets
An insider blamed the share price fall on a recent unexpected increase in mobile phone charges
Murdoch makes statement
At a press conference he said; "I'll fix this mess by hook or by crook". Probably not the best choice of words but it's nice to Gerald Ratner's speech writer back in work.
Met police face pension crisis
Officers concerned after their pension top scheme was closed last Sunday
For sale. Office paper shredder
Only one week old but well used and in need of slight attention. Any reasonable offer considered. Call Rebekah Brooks, landline only please.
Rebekah Brooks has withdrawn from a prize-giving event at Preston's Fulwood
According to the Head teachers voicemail
NHS staff lose faith in managers
They also lost an elderly man who walked off and a pregnant woman they had put in a broom cupboard
David Beckham spotted in Greggs the bakers
He said he got confused. He wanted to go and watch the Open Golf Championship in Sandwich
Met police accused of taking money from NoW for information
Speaking from her luxury yacht, PC Penny Grabber said; "That's an outrageous slur. I'm as straight as a banana"
Mayan calendar predicted News of the World ending in 2012
Only one year out. That's not bad for an ancient civilization that didn't have access to a pocket calculator.
US suspends Pakistan military aid…......
by the ankles until he tells them where the rest of al-Qaeda are hiding out
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