Showing breaking news satire snippets written by grimbo.
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Tony Blair Pelted With Eggs
2 men and 2 women are being sought after Tony Blair was pelted with eggs at a book signing in Belfast.
At the time of going to press, 3,500 people had claimed responsibility.
written by grimbo, 27 February 2011
Protests At BBC Wales Studio
Demonstrators have protested outside the BBC at plans to take over Welsh language station S4C.
But the protests fell on deaf ears as no one could understand what the demonstrators were shouting.
written by grimbo, 21 February 2011
Wife Swapping Parties Dissed
The male inhabitants of Upfield, Oregon have hit on a less immoral alternative to wife swapping parties.
They leave their women on the table in the middle of the floor and take home their car keys.
written by grimbo, 20 February 2011
Kamasutra Update
The Kamasutra, earliest manual on sexual behaviour, has been updated to reflect modern day practices.
Previously most popular position 69 has been replaced by 72 - that's 69 with 3 people watching.
written by grimbo, 20 February 2011
ER Comes to the U.K.
Award winning U.S. hospital drama E.R. has been franchised out worldwide and BBC Southwest is planning to base the U.K. version in Bath, Somerset.
Its to be called Ooo Arr.
written by grimbo, 20 February 2011
Fixed Odds SPL Fixtures
5/3/11
D'dee Utd v Ab'deen
Home Evens
Away 2/1
Match Off Betting closed
written by grimbo, 19 February 2011
Hamilton Accies Boss Raging
Hamilton's Billy Reid was fuming at the late cancellation of their game at Dundee United.
Not only was the team bus half way up the M80, but the Hamilton supporter was already at the ground.
written by grimbo, 16 February 2011
Radiohead Do U-Turn
For the release of their next album, Radiohead have scrapped their "Pay What You Want" format.
Its to be changed to a "Pay What They Want" policy.
written by grimbo, 15 February 2011
Ronaldo Calls It A Day
Brazilian's legendary striker Ronaldo has announced his retirement from first class football.
He's signed for West Ham United.
written by grimbo, 14 February 2011
Chilcot Inquiry - English Premiership Link
Sensational news coming out of the Iraq Inquiry today: its been confirmed that Lord Chilcot is to refer the U.K. government's motives to the Dubious Goals Committee.
written by grimbo, 14 February 2011
Crucial New Show Announced
Sky are producing a new documentary series hosted by Lorraine Kelly, about missing mums.
This follows the success of Sky's previous series Missing Shaving Gells: Lorraine Kelly Investigates.
written by grimbo, 14 February 2011
Jacko Latest
A former bodyguard has revealed that apart from the Disney Store, Michael Jackson's favourite shop was Staples.
Very apt as that was all that kept his face together for the last 10 years
written by grimbo, 14 February 2011
Police Thwart Rave Plans
Police have arrested a 19-year old man over plans for an illegal rave in Somerset.
Officers raided the man's flat and removed 5 bottles of Merrydown , 3 Worzels albums and 7 paracetamol tablets.
written by grimbo, 14 February 2011
Vandalism at Tate Britain
Tate Britain in London has been smeared by "a horrible, sticky mess" after the gallery accepted sponsorship from BP.
The oil and feathers were subsequently shortlisted for the 2011 Turner Prize.
written by grimbo, 13 February 2011
Jerry Hall 's Windfall
Artwork owned by model Jerry Hall has raised more than £2 million at Sotheby's in London.
Hall claimed she was "letting go of the past" and "wasn't afraid of change".
Especially not £2.4 of it.
written by grimbo, 13 February 2011
Alex Ferguson on Retiring
Sir Alex Ferguson has finally admitted that he knows exactly when he'll call it a day and retire from the game.
Its when he finally discovers what to do with his hands when Man U score.
written by grimbo, 12 February 2011
Becks Talks About Next Child
David Beckham is glad he and Posh aren't naming their 4th child after the place of conception, as happened with Brooklyn. He really didn't want to call the child Peckham Beckham.
written by grimbo, 12 February 2011
King's Speech Latest
The King's Speech could well turn out to be the cheapest Oscar winning film ever.
Producer Harvey Weinstein has put much of that down to the fact that there was only 50 words in the whole movie.
written by grimbo, 12 February 2011
Ancient Remains Found In Fife
Scientists in Fife have found tracks made by an extinct water scorpion called Shahoorsur.
Its the most significant archaeological find in the kingdom since the discovery in 1979 of the Shaboysur".
written by grimbo, 12 February 2011
French Footballer Scandal
Zahia Dehar, the Moroccan allegedly paid by Franck Ribery for sex, claims that the weirdest thing was Ribery asking her to rough him up. "It looked like someone had already beaten me to it".
written by grimbo, 11 February 2011
New Bond Film In Doubt
Production of the next James Bond film has been suspended "indefinitely" because of uncertainty over the future of film company MGM.
The movie has been tentatively titled "A Question of Finance".
written by grimbo, 10 February 2011
Strange Signs
Prostitute Tolerant Zone sign seen in Leeds - "Humps for 500 yards".
written by grimbo, 09 February 2011
Denise Van Outen "So Happy"
Denise Van Outen and husband Lee Mead are celebrating the birth of their first child.
Denise said she was "ecstatic" following the birth of daughter Camper, who is to take her mother's surname.
written by grimbo, 08 February 2011
Al Gore Latest
POLICE are to investigate claims that Al Gore groped a massage therapist in a hotel in 2006.
A documentary is also being planned, provisionally titled "An Allegedly Inconvenient Truth".
written by grimbo, 08 February 2011
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