Showing snippets written by Tommy Twinkle.
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A case of mistaken identity?
On return to port of Karachi following a few days fishing in the waters of the Arabian Sea crew of boat claim to have netted the corpse of a tall woman with gunshot wounds and wearing a false beard.
If the Queen happens to suffer another nosebleed at her grandson's wedding on Friday royal doctors have advised her to tilt her head back so that her nose points towards the sky like it always does.
Kate Middleton is 'In The Club'!
Kate Middleton joined a secret society during her education at St Andrews University - 'Skin and Bones'.
What day is it today?
"I've often found myself unsure what day of the week it is" admitted Prime Minister David Cameron this morning when referring to Rebecca Black's popular YouTube song 'Friday'
-Yes,we'd noticed that!
We'll call it Mission Accomplished then shall we chaps?
6 SAS men caught in Libya with false passports and having several cover stories (depending on who caught them)told rebels they'd come to find out their aims.
"To get rid of Gaddafi" they replied!
Always read the label!
A giggling William Hague said yesterday that crates of so-called chemicals of mass destruction Gaddafi purchased from Britain last year are actually chemicals of MOSS destruction intended for lawns.
It's all in the genes!
Researchers for BBC's 'Who Do You Think You Are' program say they've discovered the great grandfather of America's TV reporter Serene Branson was none other than the great Stanley Unwin!
Big Rise in Postal Complaints this week!
Many women complaining to Royal Mail saying they must have delivered to wrong addresses on Monday because they didn't receive important mail.
Food for thought!
Obama says the sudden appearance of whistling chickens on many Kentucky farms unlikely being caused by GM corn feed.
A Growing Population!
The 'Big Society'.Yes, obesity is certainly 'widespread' in Great Britain.We all need to tighten our belts.
Reminder about April Fools Day.
'The Spoof' is perhaps an appropriate place to remind everyone that as from this year April Fools Day is not
officially on the first day of April but on the first MONDAY of April.Don't Forget!
Mubarak believes he can win election!
Hosni Mubarak says he would like to give the people of Egypt the opportunity to vote him back into power when arrangements are made for an election to take place.He feels confident of winning he says.
Down in the dumps and feeling blue at Chelsea.
Chelsea's Didier Drogba says there's never been such a miserable mood at the club - February's always a grey depressing month in England Didier.The daffodils will soon be be out to cheer us all up.
Plans to improve school dinners in Oldham?
Oldham(UK)want to charge any new takeaway food shop wanting to open up near a school £1000.Let's hope they spend it on
improving the school dinners!
Fishy goings on in Birmingham!
Birmingham(UK)health officials have confused people by saying they want their fish'n'chip shops to sell healthier dishes.Do they want them to sell boiled fish'n'chips or stop selling fish completely?
Obama scares human race with UFO statement.
President Obama has ruled out any possibility of there ever being public disclosure regarding the UFO subject saying 'The truth about UFO'S is far too awful for it to ever be revealed to the public'.
Redwing Blackbird Air Disaster :
Why was there no black bird-box on the flight ? Or was it
removed by sinister 'first responders' sent to Arkansas crash site? Next series of 'Mayday' to include episode on Beebe air disaster!
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