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'Time Travel Can Seriously Damage The Brain' warn scientists
BBC Compliance Dept to rename Dr Who vehicle 'The Retardis'.
Indignant F1 Stewards accuse Lewis Hamilton of 'Playing the Race Car'
Exclusive by Monty Carlo.
Currently reading all about William Boot in 'Scoop'.
Waugh, huh. What is he good for?
Man U star defender quits to join Hogwarts Old Boys
UK Internet and legal system crash under surfeit of Ryan Gags
US says 'Who?'
Great Trainrobber Ronnie Biggs denies taking out injunction
'Wasn't me. But wouldn't have minded taking a crack at the Welsh tart when I was younger', says Biggs.
Ken Clarke arrested for 'indecent act' on radio
"I was only shooting from the hip" says misunderstood Ken.
Today's Sun headline 'FREE LEGO TOY'. Today's Times headline 'FREE AI WEI WEI'
Hmmmm. Decisions decisions...
Sign seen at the Butchers...
' Watership Down: You've read the book, Seen the film, Now eat the cast. '
Tiger Woods' knee-trembler puts him out of tournament
Someone shouted 'In the hole!' when Woods stood next to shapely blond...
Court refuses Max Mosely gagging request
'No problemo. Miss Smacklash has plenty back in her basement' a nonchalant Mosely said afterwards.
Prince Harry Terror Threat
'I'll get him' says Pippa.
Isle of Wight unveil own Navy SEALS strike force
'Maroon KIPPERS' are now operational.
Dominatrix Opens S&M Cake Shop
Every cake comes with lashings of whipped cream.
'Clegg just like Bin Laden' says Cameron
Dead in the water.
Overwhelming Relief that Bin Laden Search is Over
'It's been a worrying 10 years for me' says Cat Stevens.
Imogen Thomas's singing secret is out
She's was doing gigs all last year...
Wenger hits back at disgruntled Arsenal fans
'Luke on zee positif side. We 'ave no trophies to be run over weez a bus!'
Drogba Fancies Man
chester United Move.
Tiger Woods Says 'Stupid Misses' Cost Him US Masters Win
Miss World, Miss Puerto Rico and Miss Bolivia.
Thought for the day: 'Less is More. No, really.'
Robert 'One-inch' Browning, 1855.
Nuclear submarine gunman quizzed
"He passed on the capital of Latvia, so was the weakest link" said Ann Robinson.
One swallow does not a summer make...
Still, it was very sporting of her.
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