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Harrison Ford Injured In Plane Crash
Upcoming movie title changed to, Indiana Jones: Pilot from hell.
So What Is Holding PM Back From Head-To-Head debate
.........perchance he has left his 'gonads' in a pub somewhere?
Half A Million Migrants To England Since 2011....
..............or, as UK employers describe it,"come on down the price is right!"
The legs have it!
HOLLYWOOD EXCLUSIVE: Harrison Ford returning for blade runner sequel if Oscar loans him his legs.
"Mr Spock has left the building!
"Its life Jim but not as I knew it!"
Madonna blames Brit Awards trip on cloak
....or was it 'the real thing' I wonder?.....typo's rule!
St Trinians girls head for Syria
All new UK girl band ISIS to tour Syria
"An explosive must-see act" Rolling Stone. "They simply blew me away" NME. "A real blast!" Mojo.
Driverless Car Trials Begin Across Britain
............so what's new, this has been in operation for years on the M25!!
Over 300 Migrants Missing In Mediterranean.
............those Thomson late deals can be a real bitch!
Tories Count On Times Tables Learning Plan
"It is imperative that George learns his 5 x tables before the election" says Do-nothing-Dave.
Boy, 3, Shoots Both Parents With Single Bullet
US Army signs him up as a sniper.
15,000 Trapped on the French Alps!
...puts a whole new meaning to being on the piste!
Dave no longer the favourite boys name!
"You can call me........Mo"
Geldof's Band Aid 30 'millionaires' obviously don't know that donations from each of them might improve the problem at hand!
Tune in, tune out.
Son kills 25stone Dad then uses the body as TV stand....Doubtless had trouble finding a stand to accomodate his 50 inch Plasma....tip of the day or what?
"Over the top!"
Tesco blows entire years profits on clapped-out B Bumble & the Stingers classic Nut Rocker themed light show.
"Whaddya think of it so far?"
"Stevanage we have a problem!"
UK to build new probe after the success of Philae...tentatively called Phallic it will carry huge headlights in readiniss for when it lands on Kim Kardashians arse and begins probing!
"Hey bud, you want ketchup wid dat?"
Aptly named rapper Big Paybacc shot dead in LA McDonalds...obviously he did not order a Happy Meal then?
Leaders react to plan for Election debate.
Little Ed Milipeed has shite himself..again.
Clegghorn-Foghorn has booked three weeks in the Sychelles.
Do-nothing-Dave has placed an order with Pampers.
Nasty Nigel ordered 24 crates of real ale!
The writing is on the wall
Cave art dating back 40,000 million years discovered......'Dave is a wanker!'
One Night in Bagdad.
Andrew Lloyd Webbers new musical 'Bagdad Exodus' opening soon.."A blast"..Guardian...."I was blown away"...D Mirror..."Left me shell shocked"...D Mail..."Heavenly"...The Sun..."My 48DD hell"...D Sport
New Tesco CEO Dave 'alright Rodney' Lewis announces new Tesco in-store Panto 'Feet On The Floor' wherein 4,000 useless HQ & Corporate staff will work on shop floors to boost morale....every Lidl helps
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