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Duke & Duchess of Cambridge 'Want to do a serious job'
There's a few million proletariat citizens that would like that too!
But they have no choice in the matter, and no rich Mummy and Daddy either!
"Just thought I'd mention it like!"
Man arrested after shooting himself in genitals!
The 36-year-old claimed that after finding the fire-arm, he planned to sell it on. But, as he checked that the gun worked, the bungling lad managed to shoot himself in his family jewels.... Ooooh!
New Bombshell of Disastrous Statin Side Effects
Such as: Short temper - Hostility - Homicidal urges - Amnesia - Kidney failure - Diarrhea - Cramp in legs - Nerve damage - Mental awe - Liver damage & Neuropathy etc
"Oh dear, and me on 40mg a day!"
Denise Welsh admit's she's a sex addict!
Well she didn't answer my begging letters...!
Nottingham Castle to be revitalised
Nottingham City Council has announced plans to revitalise Nottingham Castle to turn it into a world-class tourist destination.
"That'll please the muggers... more targets!"
Soldiers to step in if Unions stage big strike!
The Government is holding talks with the military on the issue.
"Great idea, bring em back from getting killed in Afghanistan, I'm all for that!"
Kate & Wills want two children!
Prince William is desperate to be a dad and he wants two kids, he revealed.
"My neighbour says they can have two of hers - she can't afford to keep them, she's working!"
Rolf Harris joins Channel 5 Vet series
"I hope they "Tie his Kangaroo down Sport..."
Cross-dresser hurls plate at cafe customer!
Who complained his testicles were on show under skimpy outfit.
What was he having I wonder? Meat and two veg?
Live frog found in Waitrose salad bag
Mother was left hopping mad after her daughter found a live frog in a bag of salad she bought from her local Waitrose in Hampshire.
"Never happy some people - it proves it was fresh!"
Robbie Williams: I want Andy Murray in my pants!
He wants to see him modelling his Farrell Fashion label undies.
Elton and Cliff might too!
Respect Party leaader, Salma Yaqoob quits!
The leader of the Respect Party, Salma Yaqoob, resigns and quits the party, blaming a "breakdown in trust" at senior levels within the organisation.
"Your turn now Cameron!"
Osborne: Capitalism is essential for Britain's survival!
As Ken Livingstone said:
World wide capitalism kills more people everyday than Hitler did. And he was crazy
"He's right you know!"
Matt Smith needs all his energy to play the Doctor!
Matt Smith has played Doctor Who for three years and it seems the role is starting to take its toll on him.
"Who'd have thought it!"
50,000 bogus students flooded into Britain
Following disastrous immigration reforms.
"I'm not surprised!"
Drink-driver aged just 14 is pulled over by police
The 14-year-old boy was stopped by West Midlands Police.
"Suppose they'll arrange free driving lessons for him as a punishment before he sells his story to the Sun?"
Asda produce the Cameron Chair
It can lie-low, turn 360 degrees, and has an ATM attached.
Cameron half way through Coalition Government
It's depressing, as halfway through the Coalition Government, we don't know what Cameron is for yet - except cuts, centralisation, and privatisation.
Union Bosses in Call to Occupy Public Buildings!
Selectively I hope... we've already got threeteen and a bit million people occupying the benefits offices!
Wayne Rooney: Son's birth made me grow up!
Oh I am glad... but most people grow up with or without having a child...
Volvo's new V40 - Officially The safest car in the world
Just what the family needs - and a snip at from £23,745!
David Laws reinstated as Minister
David Laws: who swizzed £40,000 from taxpayers, is back?
In what other job would this be OK?
Tory MPs demand more rights against burglars!
At last... something I can agree with!
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