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Con Vinced Deputy Clegg Shot Beside Oak Tree
Elections could be Void
The Government is proposing that any election that does not get a 50% turnout should be invalid.
My garden shed is now on the market. Room for a bed if the fork and spade are placed carefully. £300,000.
Britain seems to be set on sending more politicians to Europe who don't want to be there because nobody wants to live next door to them in this country.
Manager at West Ham is now likely to be Moyes or Rednapp as Allardyce finds blowing 0-0 bubbles in East London is winning him few friends.
Ravel's Opera Discovered
An opera by Ravel called 'The Nightmare' has been found about Sam Allardyce being sacked by West Ham to become manager of Queen's Park Rangers just after Ravel has signed a contract to play for QPR.
When will you ever answer Mr Cameron?
Blair's Dossier 2
Tony Blair has unveiled Dossier 2 on the Middle East, a sequel to his famous Iraq one. Instead of Weapons of Mass Destruction Blair has discovered an Islamic Plot to Rule The World.
Easter Egg Disappointment for Spoof
Dive in a get the opinion you want.
Pickles didn't go the right school but he has eaten written all over him.
Oscar Pisstake is to win an Oscar for his brilliant acting.
Cabinet Minister Maria Miller is moving from Culture Secretary to the Front Line in an army incursion into Syria.
Chinese vessels who hear a Ping in the Indian Ocean are using sniffer dogs to find a Pong.
Miller Up the Polel
Culture Secretary Maria Miller has topped the Poll in the Daily Miller as the Tories favourite MP.
Sell Off Mix Up
Government accused of selling the Royal Mail too cheaply when they thought they were selling the Daily Mail
This Government is so green even the crap is green!
Missing Aircraft Blackout
No more news will be broadcast about the missing Malaysian aircraft due to millions of people turning off their television sets after non-stop coverage for days on end.
The mystery of how to say 'I haven't a clue where it is' every day without repeating yourself.
Osborne Looks After Little Balls
Just like having a fag at Eton again.
I'm thinking of dying
So I will get the praise of all those who have hated me throughout my life!
Flower Pot Man Dies
Benn, the flower pot man, has died. He had not been in the garden recently which has been pretty drab without him.
Mail Cock Sings
Something to crow about.
I would cover up if I could but my sheets are at the cleaners NOW.
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