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The Blair Affair.
Ms Deng ex-wife of Rupert Murdoch has said that she and Tony Blair had an "innocent" relationship.
"We may have slept in the same bed... but nothing happened."
Iraq British Medical Survey
A British Medical Survey of Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison concluded that "almost all of them suffer from conspiracy theory."
TEN-YEAR-OLD BOY DEMANDS CASTRATION
Los Angeles: A ten-year-old boy, Patrick Smith, has applied to a court to be castrated. Said he "didn't want to grow up like his parents and have nothing to live for but his pee-pee."
Ex-Pope Ratzinger was spotted yesterday having a hamburger with Elvis Presley at a Memphis roadside cafe.
UK Politicians Give Themselves Up.
Twenty-three UK politicians, many of whom were involved in Tony Blair's cabinet, yesterday surrendered themselves to Scotland Yard detectives involved in the Jimmy Savile Inquiry.
Pope Francis Attacked in Broad Daylight.
Pope Francis was attacked yesterday during a visit to the Vatican bank. "You have made my Father's house a den of thieves!" his attacker yelled. Police are looking for a man called "Jesus".
Four-Years-Old Girl Demands Sex Change.
Same sex marriage partners Julian and Clarence Mesmer, have declared their four-years-old daughter Kim, "has demanded she "be made into a boy"".... And we must respect her wishes."
Time out! says The Spoof.
The Spoof has cut the time for reading its Breaking News Snippets by .5 second making it totally impossible at last for any of them to be read.
Planet Earth to be Sold off.
UN in conjunction with the World Bank have voted for the privatisation of Planet Earth. Majority shares will likely fall to Rupert Murdoch or the Vatican.
Heathrow Airport Price Increases
A pint of beer will now cost £15.99 at Heathrow Airport. Patrons will be able to pay by installments. "So few people pass through here," explained an official.
Kate Middleton's Phone Hacked.
London: Scotland Yard has confirmed that Ms. Middleton's phone has been hacked. Alexei Oblomov of Omsk, Russian satellite technician, denies that it was him.
Latest on the Savile Inquiry
Scotland Yard today stated that they hope to bring their first prosecution to court "when all of they key suspects have died of old age".
Next Bilderberg Conference
The next Bilderberg Conference will be held in the Skull & Bones HQ known as "The Tomb" at Yale University.
Martin Luther King's Double Tragedy.
It's been revealed, four days after being assassinated at the Lorraine Hotel Memphis, Martin Luther King had been in line for the CNN best Promising Black Orator Award of 1968.
In response to demands for free medicare for the underprivileged President O'Bama has decided to wear lighter suits and smile more often.
Obamacare Be Damned!
Hundreds of thousands of doctors, nurses and medics marched on the White House today to demand free medicare for the nation and an end to wasting money on wars.
Taxidermy to be Compulsory in US schools.
Education Secretary Max Knutt declares that taxidermy is now compulsory in all schools."Kids must get used to the idea of having their insides removed." Britain and Europe to follow suit.
Pope Francis Speaks for the Poor.
In his first Pontifical address since his ordination, Pope Francis announced; "The Lord will give you what you need so long as it is under ten dollars American."
Price Increase at Heathrow Airport
Heathrow Airport.. the price of a pint of beer has rocketed to six quid. Other airports likely to follow suit. Explained Heathrow retail CEO, "Well, we get so few people coming through here."
O'Bama... "Our Real Enemy".
Explaining cuts in Health Care O'Bama has announced; "CIA intelligence has at last unearthed our real enemy. It is not Islam as we thought. It is Christianity."
Mozart Sussed at Last
UK Medical Assoc.Release; "This person had an "obsessive compulsive neurosis" and a "behavioural dsyfunction typical of problem gamblers. Medication would have helped". The subject? Wolfgang Mozart.
Envoy to Iraq
A team of psychologists from the University of California have been sent to Iraq to study the origins of "conspiracy theory" among prisoners and survivors.
Barack and US Press
Announced O'Bama today.. "For the sake of democracy and freedom, I have issued an order under the Official Secrets Act forbidding Congressmen and Senators from talking to the press. Or face prison."
Conspiracy Theorists Ambushed
New legislation in the US passed to outlaw internet conspiracy theorists who may now face a mandatory three years in prison if found guilty.
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