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Outrage at Cat Murder
UK abattoir managers are urging for an emergency meeting of the House of Commons concerning the murder of Claude the cat by the RSPCA. A full length doc is also planned by the BBC.
Tony Blair Donates £50 Million to Charity
"As an ardent socialist I stand for "purity of party principles", chief among which is redistribution of wealth," he explained.
BBC Goes Hi-Tech
The BBC London are considering hiring Japanese Robots to act as news broadcasters.
Suicide Bombers Wanted
Rapid promotion and early retirement guaranteed.
Head of Chapbrokes Bookies Major Upset said he was jubilant they had it wrong over the Brussels massaacre. "Our understanding of the NWO terrorism strategy made London a hot favorite for the next Muslim hit with Mexico City second. So, we had no takers at all for Brussels which was too obvious to our mind. To globalize terrorism the boys in control need to move away from Africa and Europe and focus on South America...before June... as the tourist season gets under way. You can't have GLOBAL terrorism after all if you don't terrorise EVERYBODY, can you?"
The Harry Go-Gotter Case at the High Court
Day One of the Harry Go-Gotter plagiarism case at London's High Court. In the dock for rampant plagiarism publisher Christopher Skittle pleaded: "We do not steal m'Lud... we simply source new ideas."
Donald Trump has plunged the world into total bewilderment at his claim that "Muslims hate America".
Trump Replies to Pope Francis
Donald Trump has replied to Pope Francis's attack on him when he denounced him as "anti-Christian".
"I forgive him," said Donald.
Psychiatric Report on Children
London: The Royal National Union of Therapists ("NUTS") have issued a psychiatric report on children. It finds that a child born in a mud hut in Ghana is 'sane' while a child born at the same time in London was "certifiably insane" by the age of 12.
Nazi To Be Tried
Chief medic at Belsen concentration camp 1940-45 Klaus Missink is to be tried for war crimes. 103 year-old Herr Missink will be airlifted from his Zurich hospital cancer bed to stand trial in Bonn.
MMA Fight Stopped
In Paris yesterday a Championship MMA fight was stopped in the 10th round when Juan "The Jackal" Leon fell on his unconscious opponent and tried to tear out his jugular with his teeth.
The UN Security Council says it is upset about the Syrian conflict.
New Subject for Kids
A new subject is to be taught to in schools everywhere according to a NWO EEC ruling. The "SEXUAL IDENTITY CLASS" will teach little girls how to be little boys and little boys how to be little girls. Gays and paedophiles everywhere applaud the ruling as a "progressive step". The future looks bright for all.
Big Movies Just Got Bigger
London's mayor ...Boris Johnson has been offered the part of Quasimodo in the remake of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Hillary Clinton will play the hump.
The Hotel EEC.
The British Referendum...Duh? Welcome to The Hotel EEC sheeple. "You can check-out any time you like... but you can never leave". Not after you vote "yea" as directedf. The banks rule. The NWO goes marching on.
Pope Trumps Trump
Has Pope Francis, good friends of Obama, by condemning Donald Trump as non-Christian put Hillary Clinton into the White House?... And who put him up to it?
Lady Gaga Does it Again!
Singing the old world War 11 Iceland classic "Whale Meat Again" Lady Gaga at her concert at London's Albert Hall channeled Sir Winston Churchill.
The Potter Book 8 Con.
As confidently predicted by "Auntie Matter" on thespoof.com, almost a year ago! Used to be you had to pay for publicity. Not any more. Go on Sheeple make'em richer. 'Share' on Facebook.
UN Rules in Favour of Assange's Release
Justice Lowell Goddard heading the Jimmy Savile inquiry has congratulated the UN on the speed with which it arrived at the conclusion that Mr. Assange should never have been confined.
Valizadeh's Mother Raped
Daryush Valizadeh's mother was yesterday drugged and raped by three men. Said Mr. Valizadeh. "I am just so happy it took place on private property. What a relief!"
Hurricane Heading for Britain
Hurricane "Stars and Stripes" heading East to hoover Gt. Britain. Royal Family moved to Australia.
Lloyds Bank Sold
J.P.Morgan Chase Co. has bought Britain's Lloyd's bank for an undisclosed sum. Interest rates expected to rise. The NWO marches on.
Jimmy Savile Inquiry to Drag On...and On...and On...
Judge Lowell Goddard chairing the Savile inquiry has announced that the case will drag on for another 4 years so that high ranking suspects can get a chance to die off.
Now for the Attic Tax
UK: Following the "bedroom tax" comes the "attic tax". Anyone living in a house with an attic will have their welfare benefit cut by 10%.
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