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Bohemian Grove

Jimmy Savile is expected to make an appearance at this years Satanic orgy at Bohemian Grove, a BBC spokesman has said.

written by Auntie Matter, 02 May 2014
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George Bush Jr. releases Biography.

George Bush Jr. is to release his new biography with foreword by Tony Blair. It is called "Bull and Drones".

written by Auntie Matter, 02 May 2014
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Declaration of Human Rights

US Congress has ruled that the UN DECLARATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS 1947 is "undemocratic" and should be rewritten by the CIA.

written by Auntie Matter, 27 April 2014
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Vatican Saint Bonanza

Vatican announces that Pope Francis's successor, whoever he may be, will be canonized. Call it "improving our image," explained a spokesman.

written by Auntie Matter, 27 April 2014
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China Invasion

A brawl in a McDonalds restaurant in Beijing got the following response from the White House. "This sort of thing must stop or we will have to invade China."

written by Auntie Matter, 19 March 2014
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Rowling Writes New Book

J.K.Rowling has written a new book to be released in September 2016. Editor has yet to be announced.

written by Auntie Matter, 19 February 2014
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Euthanasia In Belgium Abattoirs

Belgium is to introduce voluntary euthanasia in abattoirs. "An animal psychologist will explain to livestock what is ahead of them, and then we kill them." explained Health Minister Henri Viande.

written by Auntie Matter, 15 February 2014
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'Bomb' at the Turner Prize.

Derry N.Ireland where the Turner Prize is to be held soon was in commotion when among the exhibits was found a hoax bomb with "PERFORMANCE PIECE" written on it.

written by Auntie Matter, 27 November 2013
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Charles Saatchi Squeaky Clean... Official!

Charles Saatchi who has accused his wife of cocaine addiction has never gone near the stuff himself... "not ever, in over fifty years...not even once,", says his good friend Tony Blair.

written by Auntie Matter, 27 November 2013
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The Blair Affair.

Ms Deng ex-wife of Rupert Murdoch has said that she and Tony Blair had an "innocent" relationship.
"We may have slept in the same bed... but nothing happened."

written by Auntie Matter, 26 November 2013
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Iraq British Medical Survey

A British Medical Survey of Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison concluded that "almost all of them suffer from conspiracy theory."

written by Auntie Matter, 22 November 2013
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TEN-YEAR-OLD BOY DEMANDS CASTRATION

Los Angeles: A ten-year-old boy, Patrick Smith, has applied to a court to be castrated. Said he "didn't want to grow up like his parents and have nothing to live for but his pee-pee."

written by Auntie Matter, 22 November 2013
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Pope Sighted

Ex-Pope Ratzinger was spotted yesterday having a hamburger with Elvis Presley at a Memphis roadside cafe.

written by Auntie Matter, 21 November 2013
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UK Politicians Give Themselves Up.

Twenty-three UK politicians, many of whom were involved in Tony Blair's cabinet, yesterday surrendered themselves to Scotland Yard detectives involved in the Jimmy Savile Inquiry.

written by Auntie Matter, 16 November 2013
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Pope Francis Attacked in Broad Daylight.

Pope Francis was attacked yesterday during a visit to the Vatican bank. "You have made my Father's house a den of thieves!" his attacker yelled. Police are looking for a man called "Jesus".

written by Auntie Matter, 15 November 2013
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Four-Years-Old Girl Demands Sex Change.

Same sex marriage partners Julian and Clarence Mesmer, have declared their four-years-old daughter Kim, "has demanded she "be made into a boy"".... And we must respect her wishes."

written by Auntie Matter, 15 November 2013
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Time out! says The Spoof.

The Spoof has cut the time for reading its Breaking News Snippets by .5 second making it totally impossible at last for any of them to be read.

written by Auntie Matter, 13 November 2013
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Planet Earth to be Sold off.

UN in conjunction with the World Bank have voted for the privatisation of Planet Earth. Majority shares will likely fall to Rupert Murdoch or the Vatican.

written by Auntie Matter, 13 November 2013
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Heathrow Airport Price Increases

A pint of beer will now cost £15.99 at Heathrow Airport. Patrons will be able to pay by installments. "So few people pass through here," explained an official.

written by Auntie Matter, 12 November 2013
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Kate Middleton's Phone Hacked.

London: Scotland Yard has confirmed that Ms. Middleton's phone has been hacked. Alexei Oblomov of Omsk, Russian satellite technician, denies that it was him.

written by Auntie Matter, 12 November 2013
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Latest on the Savile Inquiry

Scotland Yard today stated that they hope to bring their first prosecution to court "when all of they key suspects have died of old age".

written by Auntie Matter, 23 October 2013
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Next Bilderberg Conference

The next Bilderberg Conference will be held in the Skull & Bones HQ known as "The Tomb" at Yale University.

written by Auntie Matter, 20 October 2013
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Martin Luther King's Double Tragedy.

It's been revealed, four days after being assassinated at the Lorraine Hotel Memphis, Martin Luther King had been in line for the CNN best Promising Black Orator Award of 1968.

written by Auntie Matter, 19 October 2013
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Medicare-O'Bama Responds

In response to demands for free medicare for the underprivileged President O'Bama has decided to wear lighter suits and smile more often.

written by Auntie Matter, 14 October 2013
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