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Man wins $14.7M after hand was crushed in garbage compactor
That's one hell of a way to swoop on the Powerball jackpot - and it's all tax freak
Man tossed through window by NYPD cop gets 'lousy' $120K settlement
Everyone knows the going rate starts at $100k for hurt feelings, never mind the plate glass lacerations and broken legs
Giacometti sculpture poised to sell for record $130 million
A bit over priced considering it's only a copy and at least another five are out there
City of Detroit sues 'wrong church' over $170K power bill
Now being counter-sued by the First Hellfire Tabernacle of Mysterious Saints for defamation
Woman driver blames coffee-drinking parrot for car smash
That's what happens when a caffeine-high macaw gets behind the wheel at rush hour on the beltway
Next Round of Iran Nuclear Talks Start Next Week At Secret New Location
Best bet it's either inside the defunct Chernobyl reactor or the fucked-up Fukishima plant in Japan
Judges Hear Challenge to Obama's Climate Effort Stuff
A whole lotta hot air from presidential asshole could entirely demolish Obama's slant
Pope Ends Battle With American Catholic Nuns' Group
Loses five hands of poker to the Sisters of the Immaculate Deception plus three crates of holy communion whine
Inhumane Society wants Neiman Marcus 'faux' fur probe
Says too many damn Alsatians are going missing before ending up as fun fur stoles on the catwalk
Nokia confirms acquisition fucked-up French telecom company
Money for old rope acquistion soumds like a desperate tax saving ploy
Bill De Blasio defends his decision not to endorse Hillary
Endorsements start at $100,000 and rise thru to $500,000. No IOUs accepted.
Man standing outside Papaya Dog is stabbed in head with a Screwdriver
Such terrible luck the guy's having, last week he got hit in the chops by a Manhattan, And previously a Bloody Mary.
Psycho-killer wolverine escapes from New Jersey porn shoot
Lock your pussies, guys, she's got a taste for raw meat
Woman says she was forced to take the piss in jail cell after drinking 'Bahama Mamas'
Mock my taste in booze and see how I redecorate your jail cell walls
UN chief gives Daniel Craig special emission to eliminate mines
The project will commence after mignight, Mr Bond, so it will be a nocturnal emission
Kendall Jenner goes topless, 'soon maybe headless'
IS Jihadis reckon a spot of beheading is coming next
Uptight Israeli ultra-Orthodox Jews cut Kim Kardashian from photo
Women don't have a soil in Judaism, besides KK is an old slag in the first place
Lil Wayne's former driver accuses rapper of threatening to chill him
Dastardly stuff, LW!
'Fault in Our Stars' author's Indiana home 'is listing'
Second thoughts, make that 'is being listed'
WTF 'The evolution of Emma Watson?'
Jumped up non-entity now a hasbeen as Harry Potter movies become old hat
Kissing cab hos gobsmacked at inclusion in Clinton campaign vid
Prior arrangement with live porn streaming company throwing up all kindsa copyright issues
Hillary's father's tombstone razed to the ground
Poor sucker turning in his grave at the idea of Hillary 2016
South Carolina abduction thwarted because suspect couldn't shit sticks
Er, 'couldn't drive stick shift'
18th-century sex toy unearthed at school of swordfish
Correction! that should read 'at school of swordmanship'
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