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January 20th, 2017

Democratic National Committee chooses this as day Obama will officially stop blaming all his mistakes on "the prior administration."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 13 July 2010
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Lindsay Lohan Asks Important Question To Friends

"Until I get out of prison in three months, do I qualify as jail bait again?"

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 09 July 2010
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Lindsay Lohan Says That It Was Never Her In The Topless Photos And Nip-Slip Pictures

She's also never been drunk, used drugs, evaded arrest, had a lesbian relationship, been a problem on a movie set, or forgotten to wear her panties.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 29 June 2010
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Lindsay Lohan Says That It Was Never Her In The Topless Photos And Nip-Slip Pictures

Someone brought in a pair of stunt titties?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 29 June 2010
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Viagra admits inventors were scrambled letter fans

"Finish curving down the r into an n and our product has the same letters as Vagina, since it's really a medicine to give them help too."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 29 June 2010
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Senator Robert Byrd Passes Away

Mel Gibson and Michael Richards wonder who is now the most racist white man in America.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 29 June 2010
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Senator Robert Byrd Passes Away

Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Louis Farrakham probably won't attend funeral.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 29 June 2010
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Senator Robert Byrd Passes Away

Death cancelled his promotional contract with erectile dysfunction pill, where he was to say "With Viagra, I've been screwing Americans for 92 years!"

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 29 June 2010
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Senator Robert Byrd Passes Away

West Virginia to rename flipping someone off to "giving the Byrd" in his honor.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 29 June 2010
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Senator Robert Byrd Passes Away

KKK sheets to be worn at half mast for the next 30 days.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 29 June 2010
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Senator Robert Byrd Passes Away

KKK will have a 21 burning cross salute at his funeral.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 29 June 2010
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Senator Robert Byrd Passes Away

With the death of the former KKK member, Barack Obama is the most racist man in the American Government.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 29 June 2010
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Provincetown, Mass. Schools To Provide Free Condoms To First Graders

Girls too young for training bras get training gloves?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 27 June 2010
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Provincetown, Mass. Schools To Provide Free Condoms To First Graders

When asked who would supply the child sized condoms, one school district source said "we found them in a shipment that was supposed to go to Neverland Ranch."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 27 June 2010
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Provincetown, Mass. Schools To Provide Free Condoms To First Graders

Catholic church shows increase in number of Priests wanting to transfer to the area.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 27 June 2010
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Provincetown, Mass. Schools To Provide Free Condoms To First Graders

Arkansas says, "we been doing that fer years, but most of our second grade girls are usually about 14 years old and already got kids."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 27 June 2010
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Provincetown, Mass. Schools To Provide Free Condoms To First Graders

Barack Obama upset about move, saying "where the hell am I supposed to get my 72 virgins when the six year olds get free birth control?"

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 27 June 2010
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SyFy Channel To Show "Dinocroc vs. Supergator"

Dinocroc says that "I've been really typecast in Hollywood and this is my first acting job since Jurassic Park 3."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 26 June 2010
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SyFy Channel To Show "Dinocroc vs. Supergator"

No truth to the rumor that Supergator was one of the Super Friends.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 26 June 2010
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SyFy Channel To Show "Dinocroc vs. Supergator"

Enthusiastic network president says "this one's got Emmy Awards written all over it!"

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 26 June 2010
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SyFy Channel To Show "Dinocroc vs. Supergator"

Las Vegas oddsmakers put the over/under at 75 bodies and the number of channel changers at 87%.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 26 June 2010
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SyFy Channel To Show "Dinocroc vs. Supergator"

Richard Gere hopes that neither one eats his gerbils.

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 26 June 2010
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SyFy Channel To Show "Dinocroc vs. Supergator"

Kevin Bacon, who has co-starred with both, says "I'd put my money on the Supergator."

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 26 June 2010
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SyFy Channel To Show "Dinocroc vs. Supergator"

Does the winner get attacked by giant piranhas?

written by Throckmorton Turdblossom, 26 June 2010
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