Showing snippets written by C. Cranium.
Show all snippets.
New Gulf of Mexico Sparkling Water
Try BP's sensational new Gulfspill Vitamin Water. Just the right amount of carbonization with healthy crude oil fiber.
Predict the future
"You can always predict the future, if you wait to see what happens."
Geologist finds a rock
Unusual for a geologist but Phinnius Barnstable, unemployed geology degree holder, discovered a rock in his Cherrios. A rare quartz crystal lost long ago. Now how did that get in his cereal box?
No Mo Slow Mo
Phillips Electronics is eliminating the Slow Motion option on their hand held DVD players. Phillips insiders said it just took too long for that feature.
Crosby, Stills, and Nash go into a bar
Bartender: Old men I'm a lot like you are.
Crosby: 64 and want so much more.
Stills: There's something happening here.
Bartender: Yup. Nowadays Clancy can't even sing.
NCAA Basketball: New Rule
NCAA rules committee has approved the if-a-3-pointer-touches-the-rim it's worth .5 points. The rule applies to overtime only. Panic last second shots mean another overtime, and more revenues.
Final Four High Hoops
The High Hopes Fish & Chips chain of El Cerritos, CA has announced their High Hoops Fresh Flounder Fish Fry & French Fries for just $6.99 during the NCAA Final Four tournament.
The Butler did it
March Madness ; NCAA Basketball
Butler the little known college advaNces to Elite 8
The mighty Syracuse
NCAA Basketball Tournament: Kansas clicks their heels
"I keep forgetting that I'm not in Kansas",
Kansas,# 1 rated, lost to Northern Iowa in round one.
"Click your Heels 3 times Dorothy"
Kansas is back in Kansas.
Beijing sand storm inspires new recipes
The giant sandstorm dousing Beijing has given restaurants new epicurean leeway. New recipes include Orange Chicken with Sand, Beijing Duck smothered in Sand & Plum Sauce.
March Madness caused by pollen
Northern hemisphere dandelion pollen is released in mid-march based on sun / earth positions and not weather or season. Afflicted Individuals sensitive to this pollen go basketball crazy.
Who cares about apathy?
Santa Cruz, CA UCSC Campus
Apathy is an obsession at UCSC. Researchers survey the level of apathy by asking: What is your level of apathy for an issue?: mild, moderate, or extreme apathy.
US FDA: Expire dates expire
US Food and Drug Administration 20 year old regulation for expire dates on food stuffs has expired. FDA scrambling to avoid expiration date for re-regulating expire dates.
March Madness for Oxford
Oxford declined invitation to final 64 as 65th contender. Astute physics student Bert Ramadan says "Do the math. Just who is the 65th team going to play?".
Skoob1999 come back
Get with it. Take an antidepressant. Go on vacation. Come back as Skoob2099.
Name that Tune and Band
Q Lyric snipit:
"I was floatin' in the ocean
greased with suntan lotion"
A llufnoopS 'nivoL yb cisuM dnaB guJ
The Dude Wins Oscar
Jeff Bridges, forever the Dude, actually likes the Eagles, doesn't bowl, sing, or play the guitar.
The Goose Didn't Duck
Geese are everywhere on golf courses. A goose however will not duck from a speeding golf ball. CS
The Olympics are over. What now?
While visiting the Olympics Michael Phelps recognized Tiger Woods in disguise. They chatted and agreed to share their troubles: Michael is swapping a bong for one of Tiger's phone numbers.
Send To A Friend
Send this site to a friend!
RSS & Feeds
The Spoof is proud to present all its stories as RSS Feeds.
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!