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Neb. Town Votes to Restrict Illegal Immigration
US and Mexican Federal Government lawsuits pending.
Interior Secretary Salazar Seeks to Reimpose Drilling Moratorium
Federal court shuts down previous moratorium. Salazar and White House seek to reimpose, saying "neener, neener, neener...we're going to do it anyway, we don't care what you say, you can't stop us..."
President To Speak with Gen McChrystal
Staffers indicate Presidential ultimatum: "Stop telling the truth or your fired!"
Cut Salt, Say Government Advisers
Gov advisers say to cut salt out of your diet. American tax payers, who the advisers work for say "Cut yourself out of my personal business you pompous bloviating jerks." Feds threaten to ban salt.
Democrats insulted by BP "Small People" Remark.
Dems find the term insulting due to a belief that only Dems care about and are allowed to use terms like: little guy, average guy, common American, main street or any other term to describe non elites
Democrats Question Primary Election Victory Of Alvin Greene
They want to know how an inexperienced, unknown, candidate with shady dealings, without a real job can come out of nowhere to win? I guess they forgot about Obama's win under the same circumstances.
Israel apologizes for flotilla deaths.
The IDF blames it on the enormous amount of confusion caused when IDF forces didn't recognize flash bang grenades and metal clubs as the new international sign of friendship, not acts of violence.
Al and Tipper Gore to divorce.
Tipper claims there was no affair. Points out that Al's fight to prevent "man made" global warming included preventing "man made global warming" in their relationship.
President Obama Finds Silver Lining On Cloud Of Oil
Straight from Obama to your wallet: the oil spill is a good reason to create a carbon/energy tax an once again sock it to the poor and middle class so that they become even more dependent on the feds.
Eric Holder Sent To Close The Leaking Oil Well
Attorney General Holder has arrived at the gulf coast to initiate a criminal probe into the leak. No one's sure how a criminal probe will plug the hole or why it can't wait until it's closed.
Obama Administration Does Not Blame Bush!
The White House finally stopped blaming George W Bush for their problems. Today, the Obama administration threw Bill Clinton under the bus of the Sestak scandal. With friends like these who needs...
White House not the responsible party
White House indicates they're not culpable in the Sestak-job bribe since they had Clinton do it? Tell me, why is Charles Manson in jail? He had others commit murder and never did it himself. Hmmmm?
White House: Bill Clinton Did it!
White House says Chief of Staff Ramm Emanual had Bill Clinton bribe Sestak with a job if he dropped out of a Senate race. Says that since Clinton made the offer everything was legal.
Corrupt oil culture Bush's fault
President Obama implied at his first press conference in 10 months that the "corrupt practices and culture" surrounding the oil permits issued by the Obama administration are George Bush's fault.
Obama to suspend new leases and permits for oil exploration
At press conference, Obama says he is suspending new leases and permits for oil drilling and exploration. Doesn't care if gas goes up to 10.00 a gallon because tax payers buy his fuel.
Obama Says Federal Governemtn In Charge Of Spill Since Day One
President Obama says Feds calling shots since day 1. All things BP has done or not done approved by his administration. Fails to realize that means he's responsible for 100% of delays and screw ups.
Los Angeles Fires Back At Arizona
The LA City Counsel indicated that if Arizona cuts power to LA in retaliation for LA's immigration law boycott, the city will be forced to cut off Arizona's supply of LA's largest export: Porn.
Anti-Arizona Immigration Law Protesters Signs Make No Sense
Anti-Arizona immigration law signs saying "No Mexicans-No Tacos" make no sense. Is everyone going to forget how to make Tacos if the border is secure? Also, no Hispanics work at the local Taco Bell.
Gibbs Tells Press To Shut The &$%$ Up
Press Secretary Robert "Dances Around The Question Like A Ballerina" Gibbs refused to answer questions about the Sestak Job scandal. Told press to "$%^ off, the people don't need to know about this!"
Democrats blame George W. Bush for Gulf oil spill
Chris Dodd says Bush scuba dived to the rig blew it up. He also said "Bush did it he can fix it, Obama's not responsible for jack and will enjoy a oil free Chicago over the memorial day weekend."
Gibbs Privately Scolded Press for Asking Too Many BP Questions
White House Press Secretary Robert "Dances Around The Question Like A Ballerina" Gibbs told members of the press: "I'm tired of your questions about BP, Lord Obama will decide what the people hear"
Americans A Bigger Threat To America Than Al Queda
Counter Terrorism Adviser John Brennan stated at a CSIS briefing that regardless of the Radical Islamic ties between previous attacks, white christian Americans are a greater threat than terrorists.
Arrogently Smarmy Charisma Not Enough
The administration is showing frustration with the fact that despite the power of Obama's charisma, mother nature has yet to tweak the laws of nature stop the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico.
New Law Brings Social Justice To Education
A new Federal law makes kids with "A" and "B" grades have their grades reduced to "C's". The surplus grades will be redistributed to lazy kids to raise their "F" grades to a socially equitable "C's".
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