Showing snippets written by ExiledRoyal.
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Best X Factor result so far
It's finally fucking finished
Whitney Houston died hours after being asked to judge X Factor
Cheryl Cole: "Personally I think she made the right decision."
Woman thrown off X-Factor for being mentally unstable
Akin to throwing a contestant off University Challenge for being a virgin
X Factor Final disaster
Microphones found to be working
Egg and Chicken ordered through Royal Mail
We'll never know
'50 Shades of Grey' now available in Braille
Free lessons for blind women on how to read with only their left hand
RIP Patrick Moore
Always an eye on the stars, and one on the camera
Google 'Who avoids tax?'
A pretty shit poker hand
Starbucks have pledged a minimum of £20 million pounds in Corporation tax over the next two years
Which computes at 75 cups of Expresso
Remember to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas"
Don't risk offending the 1% of British people that actually give a f***
Celebrity paedophiles causing unnecessary hardship
Regular paedophiles say they feel insignificant
Royal Mail falls short of its delivery targets
How fucking difficult can it be? Just keep going all the way up the path.
Most people get what's coming to them
say Royal Mail ressuringly
Royal Wedding available on YouTube
Royal Conception now available on RedTube
Korean Canine Society festive announcement
"A dog is not just for Christmas. It should do for Boxing Day as well."
Train Sets sold out for Christmas
Replacement Bus Service toys still available
Wife sells kidney to afford Christmas
Husband relieved as he thought he would have to cancel Sky Sports
One more sleep till Christmas
Dancer jailed for sex with girls
Santa claims Prancer and Vixen put him up to it
Gangs are now using dogs instead of knives
Gang member admits it leads to very hairy toast
A dog is for life, not just for Christmas
Experts say it depends whether you remember to put air holes in the box when you wrap it
Man eats mattress, duvet and pillow
Wakes up in the morning to find he's shit the bed
Royal Mail say "Christmas deliveries may be delayed"
...while they re-wrap the parcels they haven't nicked
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