Showing snippets written by ExiledRoyal.
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Remember to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas"
Don't risk offending the 1% of British people that actually give a f***
Celebrity paedophiles causing unnecessary hardship
Regular paedophiles say they feel insignificant
Royal Mail falls short of its delivery targets
How fucking difficult can it be? Just keep going all the way up the path.
Most people get what's coming to them
say Royal Mail ressuringly
Royal Wedding available on YouTube
Royal Conception now available on RedTube
Korean Canine Society festive announcement
"A dog is not just for Christmas. It should do for Boxing Day as well."
Train Sets sold out for Christmas
Replacement Bus Service toys still available
Wife sells kidney to afford Christmas
Husband relieved as he thought he would have to cancel Sky Sports
One more sleep till Christmas
Dancer jailed for sex with girls
Santa claims Prancer and Vixen put him up to it
Gangs are now using dogs instead of knives
Gang member admits it leads to very hairy toast
A dog is for life, not just for Christmas
Experts say it depends whether you remember to put air holes in the box when you wrap it
Man eats mattress, duvet and pillow
Wakes up in the morning to find he's shit the bed
Royal Mail say "Christmas deliveries may be delayed"
...while they re-wrap the parcels they haven't nicked
Number of alcoholics needed to change a lightbulb
One... Okay, just one more... Maybe a third to be social...May as well make it a few more now I've missed the last bus...
Glaswegian Advent Calendars go on sale
Behind every door, a Paracetamol
Shock find in McD's
Chip found in the salt
Only 3 more Chelsea managers to go
The little things that make Christmas
Thai kids in Sweatshops for example
Cure for ADHD found
A f***ing good smack round the head
Lucky escape by man at Justin Bieber concert
Scaffolding collapsed and killed him before the concert started
Advice for men with fat wives
Save money by putting an energy-saving lightbulb in the fridge
Germany moves to ban bestiality
Massive bovine exodus to Austria predicted
New 'Twilight' movie opening ruined by woman talking through it
Kristen Stewart I think her name was.
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