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Showing snippets written by Ellis Ian Fields.


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So Farewell, Sidney Lumet

Show me someone who doesn't want to be Henry Fonda in Twelve Angry Men.

Terrific! Thank you.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 10 April 2011
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So Farewell, Elizabeth Taylor.

Hope you and Dickie will be happy together in Heaven.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 23 March 2011
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Intending to breathe today? Don't allow the tubes from your nose or throat to your lungs to be blocked.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 20 March 2011
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Thought For The Day:

OMG - they go on about Bono... can someone shut Annie Lennox up? Please?

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 19 March 2011
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When donning trousers, the long, tube-like structures are the legs. Try to ensure that where they meet is at the top.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 19 March 2011
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Top Tip:

Remove clothing before showering... it will be easier to dry yourself afterwards.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 18 March 2011
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When the weather's cold, try to keep warm.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 17 March 2011
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Shoeshop staff: If you haven't got it in an eight, I couldn't give a monkey's that you have it in a seven or a nine.

Tell me again, and I'll shove 'em down your throat!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 16 March 2011
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So Farewell, Jane Russell

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes? Not this one. You'd have been all right by me (if I was around then, obviously).

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 March 2011
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So Farewell, Suze Rotolo

Dun-Freewheelin'. (Sorry I'm late - I only just saw your obituary).

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 March 2011
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So Farewell, Gary Moore

But that Parisienne Walkways sustain will sustain for ever!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 07 February 2011
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Escaped Pigs On The Loose In Southampton

Last seen on M27, with sign reading: "Get us out of here PLEASE! Take us to Pompey!"

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 21 January 2011
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Britain's Debt Rising by £7,000 A Second

Going to have to give up that Sky subscription... cut down on the wine... and I keep telling you about using the credit card!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 18 January 2011
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So Farewell, Susannah York.

Superman's mum. Gorgeous.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 17 January 2011
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So Farewell, Gerry Rafferty

The Night Owl of Baker Street, you're no longer stuck in the middle with us. That sax solo and guitar break were the soundtrack of my '78.

Oh dear - there are far too many "So Farewells," lately!

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 05 January 2011
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So farewell Pete Postlethwaite:

Saw you on stage with the RSC. Brilliant.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 04 January 2011
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Midwives Call For "Seismic Shift"

"I, for one, am fed up to the back teeth with the way the continents look. Every year, in the atlas, everything's the same. It's time for a change," says top midwife Felicia Fontanelle.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 December 2010
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Fire Damages Belgian Beer Abbey

EIF News & Features staff in panic buying spree...

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 December 2010
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Nearly One In Five To Reach 100

Calm down... nearly 1 in 5. That's more than 4 in 5 won't. You and I know who will, don't we?

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 December 2010
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So Farewell, Captain Beefheart.

Sorry - I only saw your obits today.

And sorry - I just never got it, although I gather I should have.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 20 December 2010
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Thought For The Day:

Boobee-doo do do ... pom te pompom. Tramps like us... what? Oh sorry, tuned out there for a mo... where were we? Ah, yes - the significance of faster-than-light travel in the works of Jane Austen...

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 18 December 2010
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Vegetarians - while it will probably cause you no harm, be aware that eating meat will mean you should no longer label yourself "vegetarian."

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 18 December 2010
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Moodys in Sharp Irish Downgrade

"I can't see us playing Dublin or Belfast again any time soon," said lead singer and guitarist Justin Hayward.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 17 December 2010
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When solving crosswords, remember: you can only write one letter in a box where answers cross.

written by Ellis Ian Fields, 15 December 2010
Showing page 2 (of 7 pages)


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