Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Richard DagNabbit.Show all snippets.
Angelina Jolie Tries to Stop Smoking
Uses electronic cigarette that blows up.
Leaving each lip looking like 1/4 cantaloupe.
Saints Pulled Off Sports World Surprise
Yet the bookies made out. How?
Alan Greenspan Fights Back
Says usury monetary systems are still the only way.
"After all, just look how much money I made from the Money Lenders During MY Tenure.
Credit Card Companies Coming Clean
Fully Disclosing the Fact that they are Screwing All Cardholders.
Elizabeth Smart Kidnapper Pleads Guilty
Says Kidnapping Smart wasn't too Smart.
Why Tax Credits Could Blow Away
O'Bombacare costs money, where else to get it if not from the O'Bomba Carettes?
Representative John Murtha Dies after Simple Surgery
The seemingly simple laparoscopic surgery was performed by Dr. Rushed Limabugh, who said "I guess I must have pushed the needles in a little too far, too fast."
Father of Medical Marijuana Speaks
"Every Body Needs a Little Dope."
Notes on Palin's Hand Stir Buzz
What appears to be a series of occult symbols for speech "Speak of the Devil, Here I Am"
New Storm to Hit East Coast
Day after Tomorrow
Southwest Jalapeno Farmer Produces Protective Spray for Chickens on the Run
"FoxBuster" a Jalapeno extract based spray that can be used by not just one chicken, but groups of the cacklers all at once. The spray is applied as a rear end covering.
Crack Emerges as Tea Party Convenes
Tea ran out early, crack used by many as Palin speech begins.
Danica Has Scare in Debut
Almost loses her $ 2M Appearance fee check.
Carrie Underwood Gets to Meet Super Bowl Players Personally
Visited each and every one in their hotel rooms last night. Players whooped.
Why China Doesn't Follow U.S.'s Lead
Not on Israel's short leash.
Russian Research Institute Says "Russia Primitive, Putin Sucks"
Putin Responds to Research Institute Head:
"Accordingly, your grave will be a primitive one."
Alastair Campbell Comes Out of Closet
Announces he and Tony Blair have been giving each other quickies for years.
Another Illinois Dem Revealed as Criminal Deadbeat
Scott Cohen, formerly a Pawnbroker, now Lt. Governor says he never held a knife to his girlfriend's throat and she wasn't a prostitute while working for ACORN.
Debt Crisis Unsettles Euopean Economy
No problem. Just borrow another $ 2T like the US , then we can swap the notes twice at a 50% discount and POOF! 75% of the debt is gone!
Afghan Police Commander Arrested on Corruption Charges
Pleads "Not Guilty" because payoffs from the CIA aren't bribes, he's oficially on their payroll as well.
O'Bomba Says His Party is Despondent ; Dazed & Confused
Orders all Dems to begin taking Prozac; Prepares new Speech, "GOP Policies We Can Believe In"
Palin to Whitehouse: "You Better Start Listening"
O'Bomba: "Well Nancy, are we ready for a Vote on my O'BombaCare Bill yet?"
12 Year Old NYC Junior High School Girls Arrested for doodling
Taken away in handcuffs by large cops.
Arresting Officers Names were Gary Sextant and Kid Glitter.
Teen Prostitutes Flocking to Super Bowl
Bigger crowds without tickets expected.