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ASDFGH organisation launch protest against the QWERTY club

There has been a call for the reorganisation of all typewriter keyboards. 'The QWERTY bunch have had their own way for too long,' ASDFGH members claim. (The ZXCVBN group made no comment).

written by Nate John Won, 29 July 2012
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Let's Hear It for the Noise

Brian Blessed and Tom Baker are to face each other in a celebrity shouting match for charity. "I'll be starting with the famous 'To Be… or Not To Be…' speech from Hamlet," said Blessed.

written by Nate John Won, 29 July 2012
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Fashionable new 'Pi-jamas' released

This week, Olympus clothing company released their new range of stylish nightwear, including a pair of lightweight Greek cotton sleep-rags. They can be worn 7 hours a day for a 22-day period.

written by Nate John Won, 29 July 2012
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Rock star retaliates with pants stunt

Wanabee 'Tom Jones' styled Testo-popster Micky Zee whipped off his boxers and threw them at a screaming horde of female fans, yesterday. 'Take that!' he cried, and stormed off stage.

written by Nate John Won, 15 October 2010
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The sky's the limit

Retro micro-programmers mix jos-sticks and joysticks during marathon charity 'game in'. "The tests were cent per scent", declared Pac Man record holder.

written by Nate John Won, 15 October 2010
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Welsh farmer makes early start on '12 days of Christmas' scene

"The French hens are fine, but the partridge just won't stay in the pear tree," said farmer Dewi Lloyd.

written by Nate John Won, 15 October 2010
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New clothing invention hits mainstream clothing stores

The 'Newtonian weighted vest' can now be purchased for the larger gent. Specialised weights are attached to hooks to keep the vest in place.

written by Nate John Won, 15 October 2010
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Scientists report positive results in Airplane survey

Scientsist now have absolute proof that the noses, toes and fingers of flight staff and passengers become longer and thinner with height.

written by Nate John Won, 15 October 2010
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New Health Initiative for office workers

UK office staff will be required to wear seatbelts and blinkers to counteract the nausea experienced by stress-related Pseudo-Airflight syndrome.

written by Nate John Won, 15 October 2010
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Join the club

French-Irish golfer Jean Luc O'Zade tried to pull a fast one today when he kicked his golf-ball into Hole 18. He claimed the move acceptable, since he used his clubbed foot.

written by Nate John Won, 27 March 2010
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Rebel store advertises Christmas early

Grayson's Mart rebelled against the Northern Mall agreement of not selling Christmas items until December 1st. 'We think that every day should be Christmas,' said the manager.

written by Nate John Won, 15 October 2009
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Bonkers for Conkers

As Autumn kicks in, several illegal bareknuckle conker-fighting clubs have been unearthed by England and Wales police, and several hefty fines dished out. Could this be the last of the forty-niners?

written by Nate John Won, 15 October 2009
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Halloweening up the score

Dorset and Wiltshire goblins protested today about the upcoming Halloween plans, claiming that the occasion is now far too commercial. 'Why can't humans just stick to All Saints Day,' they say.

written by Nate John Won, 15 October 2009
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One bright spark

Scientific farmer, Norbert 'Lecky' Tonkin may have solved the UK's depleting energy sources. He planted several lightbulbs in spring, fed them elctro-compost and now has an orchard of lanterns.

written by Nate John Won, 13 October 2009
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Tantric phone call

A lady from Hull got herself into a tangle today by redialing her own number, using a new time-telphone. She proceeded to have a conversation with herself, and was unable to hang up.

written by Nate John Won, 13 October 2009
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A blind delivery

The A-1 delivery company apologised today after 55 blind dogs were delivered to an equal number of bemused tour guides.

written by Nate John Won, 13 October 2009
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On yer bike!

Several employees at the UK Go-bike cycle company are to
grow handlebar moustaches, to promote cycling. One or two will also wear bell-bottoms, pumps and Panier shorts.

written by Nate John Won, 13 October 2009
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From the dreams of Androids

The first batch of electric sheep were released today. West Country farmers hope to use the wire wool produced to create scouring pads.

written by Nate John Won, 13 October 2009
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Time after time

A box of dates was lost from Old Father Time's kitchen this week. Vigillant folk will have noted that the world actually jumped ahead three days.

written by Nate John Won, 10 October 2009
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Disappearance of PC 'mice'

PC users are warned that PC 'mice' have been reported missing. The software specialist squad have located, and are analysing mouse droppings.

written by Nate John Won, 10 October 2009
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Doctors warn against Literary Osmosis for students

As another academic year begins, increases in Literary Osmosis Syndrome have been noted. This is the belief that by simply owning a college library book, the relevant data migrates into one's mind.

written by Nate John Won, 10 October 2009
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The future's so bright

Several dentists have started to wear dark glasses while working. Patients' teeth are getting so white that they are causing excessive glare.

written by Nate John Won, 07 October 2009
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New Welsh spring water now on sale

Welsh water ELBI-LLUG is claimed to have healing properties. Established European companies declare that the 'natural goodness' in this case includes sheep droppings, and warns public not to be NAÏVE.

written by Nate John Won, 07 October 2009
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Owls lose their cool

Several reports have been made this week, regarding the terrorising behaviour of rogue owls in the East England Woodlands. The problems began when the stoats won the Woodland wisdom championship cup.

written by Nate John Won, 05 October 2009
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