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Showing snippets written by Mark Mywords.


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Mickey Rourke Eats A Rose

But the Madam of the brothel says Ingrid, Jade and Charlene are still available, and willing to accept clitoral stimulation for £30.

written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
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Ant and Dec Barred From Jonathon Ross Show

"It's fwustwa'in bu' nobody knows nuffin wot they twayin to say," says Woss

written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
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9/11 Remembered

Now all we need are the rest of the lottery numbers for Saturday.

written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
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Derren Brown In Lottery Numbers Agony

Illusionist gets all the numbers correct, but the t**t forgot to buy a f**king lottery ticket!

written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
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'Spoof' Top-Heavy With Stories About Breast Appreciation Day

How many more can be squeezed out?

written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
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"No Sex For England During World Cup" says Fabio Capello

Which is no problem, as most England 'fans' will be too pissed to fart, next June, let alone shag!

written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
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Al Qaeda Deny Plot To Blow Up Jordan's Tits

"Even WE couldn't blow those f**kers up any bigger," said AQ spokesman Wasim Wanger

written by Mark Mywords, 11 September 2009
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Prime Minister Inspires New Nintendo Game

Gordon Brown features in the new Nintendo game, 'Wii Shit'

written by Mark Mywords, 10 September 2009
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Winner Announced In Internet Game

Gordon Brown has been declared the runaway winner in the internet craze 'The Lying Clown Game'

written by Mark Mywords, 10 September 2009
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Torquay United Confident Of Obtaining Becks

Apparently the groundsman has gone to the off-licence for six bottles as we speak.

written by Mark Mywords, 10 September 2009
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Flintshire council named most efficient in UK after 'spotted dick' clampdown

The recognition 'well deserved', as clearly the local authority has nothing better to do than debate the name of a sponge pudding.

written by Mark Mywords, 10 September 2009
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Al Qaeda forbids its members from watching TV

The leadership have announced it has imposed a complete 'Telly Ban'

written by Mark Mywords, 10 September 2009
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Manchester City deny poaching players

said a club spokesperson during a hastily scrambled press conference

written by Mark Mywords, 08 September 2009
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UK chancellor to use Jordan in bid to save economy

Alistair Darling confirms that everyone will feel much better with some 'quantitative teasing'.

written by Mark Mywords, 08 September 2009
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New sponsor for Andy Murray in bid to win US open

Andy Murray reveals Mafia to sponsor him for remainder of US Open. The deal obliges him to use a protection racket.

written by Mark Mywords, 06 September 2009
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Robbie Williams finds evidence of UFOs in his toilet bowl

It was later discovered that they were just crap circles.

written by Mark Mywords, 05 September 2009
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Basques to vote on self-determination

Suspender belts, g-strings and a variety of other forms of erotic lingerie also demand right to vote.

written by Mark Mywords, 05 September 2009
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Gary Lineker Marries His Model Bride

His ex-wife Michelle said something plastic and lifeless will complement his personality perfectly.

written by Mark Mywords, 05 September 2009
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Jack Swede Remanded!

Alleged 'roaster' Jack Swede has today been remanded in custard. Police say he is getting his just desserts.

written by Mark Mywords, 05 September 2009
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England Skipper Denies Players Go Down Easily

England 'skipper' John Terry strenuously denied that English players go down easily. His wife says he needs at least five pints before he goes down these days.

written by Mark Mywords, 05 September 2009
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Rising Porn Star Lorelei On 'Hard Times'

Rising porn star Lorelei Lee has admitted that she is becoming increasingly strapped for cash.

written by Mark Mywords, 05 September 2009
Showing page 2 (of 2 pages)


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