Showing snippets written by Daniel Bristol.
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Texas town glows in dark
A Texas town thinks it may have been contaminated by the nearby power plant. Everybody is dead and the water glows in the dark, but the EPA has assured the public that this will soon be covered up.
A man who was attempting to walk around the world drowned today.
SAINTS WIN SUPER BOWL
In a totally unexpected upset, the Saints won the Super Bowl yesterday. Veteran quarterback St. Peter led the team in a 31-17 victory over the infidel colts with the help of right tackle St. Anthony.
Susan Boyle Ugly
A top researcher at the center for Disgusting Things has revealed his latest findings, which prove conclusively that Susan Boyle is uglier than a bag of smashed assholes.
A man who was shot nine times in the chest but refused treatment died today.
Obama Asks About the Bird
President Obama held a Press Conference today to ask if Americans "had, indeed, hear about the Bird?"
Moon hits man's eye
Today the Moon nearly hit a man's eye like a big pizza pie. Scientists believe that's amore!
Spoof Writer Bristol Returns!
"Spoof" writer Dan Bristol came out of hiding today in a shocking news conference at Spoof HQ. Bristol, who has spent the past several years on a Moroccan goat farm, announced that he feels tingly.
Scientists discover cure for baldness, tell no one.
Scientists announced today that they have found a cure for baldness, flatly refusing to tell anyone what the secret is. A spokesman is quoted as saying, "I'm not saying. You're mean to me."
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