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Postal Workers To Decide Which Items May Be Delivered

Forget strikes. From now on, temporary postal staff will inspect your mail, remove cash, credit cards and cheques and shred your post to prevent identity theft. So that's all right then.

written by Blazing Saddle, 06 December 2009
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Mangelson - Top or Bottom?

The world needs to know - is Lord Peter Mangelson (Business Secretary and Minister With A Finger In Every Pie) giving it or taking it? Is the nickname "Mangy" a clue?

written by Blazing Saddle, 06 December 2009
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Tony Blair May Be War Criminal

Well, fuck me! I never thought of that.

written by Blazing Saddle, 06 December 2009
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For Fuck's Sake

Why do people put apostrophes where they are not required?

written by Blazing Saddle, 26 November 2009
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Train Unharmed As Baby Carriage Blocks Line

A 250 tonne railway train today avoided disaster when a 200 kilogram 3-wheel offroad armoured baby carriage was thrown on the tracks. Driver says "vandals will cause catastrophe if this goes on"!

written by Blazing Saddle, 16 October 2009
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Tony Bliar Pays Respects To Saint's Relics

The former Prime Minister today prayed at the altar in St Paul's where the relics of St Jade the Goody were displayed for the last time. Says "She inspires me and many other chav-minded folk".

written by Blazing Saddle, 16 October 2009
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Italian Army Pays Taleban Not To Attack.

British army pays Taleban to attack Italians. Seems fair.

written by Blazing Saddle, 16 October 2009
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Postal Strike Called Off

Strike notices held up in mail by postal workers industrial action.

written by Blazing Saddle, 16 October 2009
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Madonna, Amy Winehouse & Janet Street-Porter In Nude Lesbian Love Scene

Now there's a picture in your mind that you didn't want!

written by Blazing Saddle, 16 October 2009
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Prime Minister Gordon Brown Is Nearly Blind

In a possible explanation for poor government, it has been disclosed that Mr Brown is suffering from rectal tears, caused by jamming his head up his arse. How this affects eyesight is not known.

written by Blazing Saddle, 16 October 2009
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Man Found Half-Naked, Drunk In Park

He was wearing a Manchester City replica shirt and had a ring of lipstick around his penis. A 12 inch pink dildo was found in his anus. To save his family embarrassment, police removed the shirt.

written by Blazing Saddle, 16 October 2009
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Burka "Lots Cheaper Than Plastic Surgery"

Islamic husbands report.

written by Blazing Saddle, 27 September 2009
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Sandwell Council Restates Nuclear Free Status

Thank fuck for that, says mad-eyed Iranian despot. One more bunch of defenceless twats.

written by Blazing Saddle, 27 September 2009
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PM Gordon Brown Being Shat Upon By Mangelson

But he's too thick to see through it.

written by Blazing Saddle, 27 September 2009
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Bigfoot Identified - Shit Found In Washington State

Scientists followed an Andrex trail from a giant toilet in the NW woods. A young Bigfoot was found wound in tissue, suffocated at the end of the roll. "He may have been playing" says Dr Bob Hope, UCLA

written by Blazing Saddle, 21 September 2009
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Graduates To Pay More Income Tax

Student Union leadership says there is no chance that students will avoid the tax by leaving unversity just before graduation.

written by Blazing Saddle, 21 September 2009
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School Secretary Ed Balls To Change Name By Deed Poll.

Wishes to be known as Ed Fuckup from now on.

written by Blazing Saddle, 20 September 2009
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South African Athletics Federation Leader Admits "Error"

Confesses - "I didn't go to Specsavers"!

written by Blazing Saddle, 20 September 2009
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South African World Record Holder Confirmed - She's A Girl!

Her father, Fatima Whitbread says so.

written by Blazing Saddle, 20 September 2009
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Indian Tycoon To Buy Renault F1 Racing Team

Austin Westminster to return to Grand Prix start grids.

written by Blazing Saddle, 20 September 2009
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New Rub-On Viagra Developed

Women resigned to clumsy foreplay as mens' fingers are too stiff.

written by Blazing Saddle, 20 September 2009
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Katie Price says - "It was Shergar as raped me"

And then he fuckin' disappeared!

written by Blazing Saddle, 17 September 2009
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Breaking News On Katie Price Rapist

There is a slender possibility that the secret identity of Katie Price's alleged rapist will soon be made public.

World waits aghast - which of her 6,359 intimate "friends" could it possibly be?

written by Blazing Saddle, 17 September 2009
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Jeremy Clarkson To Give Up Top Gear

Reeling from his front door, Jezza slipped due to shit dumped on his lawn by climate change activists. "I give up. I can't go on liking cars and going fast. This heroic act has changed my life".

written by Blazing Saddle, 17 September 2009
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