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Balotelli for United!
I actually think Balotelli would be a great buy for United! Am I mad?
Pythagoras evicted from his cave!
The ghost of Pythagoras has been evicted from his cave on Samos because he hasn't paid a drachma in tax. Angie Merkel thought it was sad and hopes Greece will also be evicted!
Courtney Love flashes pussy at Parisian protestors!
Courtney Love Cobain (who?) escaped the Parisian taxi driver riots by opening her knickerless thighs in a taxi and flashed down a horny motorcyclist, he could not refuse and landed in Nirvana!
Twitter goes MAD!
Twitter has been infiltrated by ex-spoofers spreading madness all over the planet. Owners of Twitter tried to stop the plague, but fell victims of spoof insanity before the straight jackets arrived!
Greek tourists abandon Greek Islands!
Tourists flocking to the sun on Greek Islands have been seen boarding abandoned rowing boats in the hope of escaping those who abandoned them! People smugglers were happy to hold out their hands!
Man United buy 5000 new players!
It has been confirmed that United are so determined to win the EPL again they have purchased 5000 new players according to the Daily Star, a serious tabloid!
Spanish village kills Jews!
An innocent Spanish village called Fort Kill Jews has been forced to change its name because there are no Jews living there and rumours circulating the area swear the mayor is a reincarnated Hitler!
Ode to Tony & George, part 2!
Read it, it aint bad!
Pope promises to make world a better place; he's resigning!
Pope Francis, a beaming light in a world full of misery, wars, confilcts, etc, has promised to make the planet a better place and is resigning! Thank the heavens, surely this is God speaking to us!
French police in Calais and truckers agree on one thing!
French poice and stuck truckers in Calais have shown solidarity! They agree Cameron is un grand cochon and illegals are tres stupid attempting to get to England to suck the welfare system dry! Oink!
Has T Rex more brainpower than the Scriptwriters of Jurassic World?
Scientists are looking at the possibility that a reincarnated T-Rex has more brains than Hollywood scriptwriters, it seems that T Rex has more after they watched Jurassic World, it was brainless!
Sheepdog drives tractor on motorway!
A sheepdog was seen driving a tractor down the M74 and it's owner was also seen barking at his herd, they ignored him of course, the farmer not the dog!
Zebras break loose in Belgium!
I just crossed them with a Beatle and got a donkey!
Surrey farmer turns his castle into luxury pig pens!
Farmer Fiddler thought he had "hey diddled" the council by building a castle without permission and was ordered to demolish it, but being a great Fiddler, his castle is now a luxury piggy B & B!
Gay penguin book banned in US!
US library and school authorities have decided to ban a book about a gay penguin couple adopting a baby! Elton John has protested and begged Penguin books to reissue the book in San Quentin!
Vatican refuse entry to French gay ambassador!
Pope Francis has forbidden a gay French ambassador from becoming the French rep to the Vatican. Pope Francis said, "we don't mind gay priests, but ambassadors, no, no messieur!" Is that hypocrisy?
Trolls have reemerged and are determined to drag The Spoof back into the depths of satirical hell, no f'ing way! Spoofers unite now! Je Suis Le Spoof, off with their heads!
Plastic Goon Show arrives in Salford!
Last night the British public were mesmerised by a bunch of plastic Goons who will soon be running the country, the real Goons RIP, will be turning in their graves devastated at the thought!
White Power morons march into Manchester!
In a city normally divided by red or blue a third party preaching White Power decided to let everybody know Jurassic morons are still alive! I would suggest sending them to Auschwitz!
Fog hits British news readers on the Beeb!
It seems that Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson getting the boot from his rather childish programme is more important than the German Wings tragody. Well that's what the Beeb shows on the internet!
Cameron promises not to serve a third term!
There is a god after all!
El Classico or El Crappico??
Past classic, Liverpool v Man United, is nearly upon us as far away in Spain a real classic will take place, Barcelona v Real! Did the English "Messi" something up here?
Indian students are cheats; SURE!
Bihar University, India: Students taking exams are cheating by hanging on to open window frames and receiving completed exam papers from fellow students. Maybe the university should get some glass!
English clubs form own Champions League!
Because English clubs perform so terribly in Europe the FA has withdrawn all teams and from a GB competition; at least there's a chance of an English club winning that, in Europe, no chance!
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