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Zebras break loose in Belgium!
I just crossed them with a Beatle and got a donkey!
Surrey farmer turns his castle into luxury pig pens!
Farmer Fiddler thought he had "hey diddled" the council by building a castle without permission and was ordered to demolish it, but being a great Fiddler, his castle is now a luxury piggy B & B!
Gay penguin book banned in US!
US library and school authorities have decided to ban a book about a gay penguin couple adopting a baby! Elton John has protested and begged Penguin books to reissue the book in San Quentin!
Vatican refuse entry to French gay ambassador!
Pope Francis has forbidden a gay French ambassador from becoming the French rep to the Vatican. Pope Francis said, "we don't mind gay priests, but ambassadors, no, no messieur!" Is that hypocrisy?
Trolls have reemerged and are determined to drag The Spoof back into the depths of satirical hell, no f'ing way! Spoofers unite now! Je Suis Le Spoof, off with their heads!
Plastic Goon Show arrives in Salford!
Last night the British public were mesmerised by a bunch of plastic Goons who will soon be running the country, the real Goons RIP, will be turning in their graves devastated at the thought!
White Power morons march into Manchester!
In a city normally divided by red or blue a third party preaching White Power decided to let everybody know Jurassic morons are still alive! I would suggest sending them to Auschwitz!
Fog hits British news readers on the Beeb!
It seems that Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson getting the boot from his rather childish programme is more important than the German Wings tragody. Well that's what the Beeb shows on the internet!
Cameron promises not to serve a third term!
There is a god after all!
El Classico or El Crappico??
Past classic, Liverpool v Man United, is nearly upon us as far away in Spain a real classic will take place, Barcelona v Real! Did the English "Messi" something up here?
Indian students are cheats; SURE!
Bihar University, India: Students taking exams are cheating by hanging on to open window frames and receiving completed exam papers from fellow students. Maybe the university should get some glass!
English clubs form own Champions League!
Because English clubs perform so terribly in Europe the FA has withdrawn all teams and from a GB competition; at least there's a chance of an English club winning that, in Europe, no chance!
D&G ask the world to boycott Elton John!
Gay designers, Dolce & Gabbana, have asked the world to boycott gay Elton John because he is a gay dad and they couldn't have children! I wonder why?
South Africa offer penis transplants!
A successful penis transplant op in South Africa has caused an invasion of mainly Asian men hoping for an extension! Black men are also hoping for an op because their wives constantly feel the pain!
No more Top Gear just Flop Gear from now on!
Global iconic buffoonery show, Top Gear, has been hauled off the TV because Clarkson, who dared once to use the word N++++r believing it was funny, has slung a left hook at his producer, naughty chap!
3 teenage girls kidnapped by ISIS eagles!
Reports that 3 teenage girls voluntarily joined ISIS is not true! Fact is they were kidnapped by a squadron of swooping ISIS eagles whilst listening to Justin Bieber on their I phones, a deadly sin!
Terrorist attack Crufts!
A blatant terrorist attack at Crufts on a prize red setter has left the canine world devastated! Luckily the victim was not beheaded and will now become immortal because the owners are stuffing it!
Sensational clue in MH370 mystery!
After a year of investigation, investigators have divulged a sensational clue to the world about MH370, and here it is:
"We know nothing!"
Ryan Giggs loves Louis van Gaal!
There is no riff between King Louis and Ryan Giggs because Louis missus is too old!
Louis van Gaal's new tactic; spitting!
LVG introduced a secret weapon to his lame team hoping to please frustrated United fans; a spitting Llama! Away fans loved his debut at Newcastle and hope now they can spit their way into the top 4!
Nigel Farage's big Berlin Wall!
UKIP will build a huge wall around the UK if elected! They haven't decided which one, Texan/Mexican (too porous) or a Berlin style, but Farage's missus, a German ordered him to take BERLIN or be shot!
After causing a fire in Twickenham Nutella pots are now to be issued with a fire warning!!
Other glass pots not until they cause a fire too!
Burnt to a crisp like Jordan!
Sunbed after sunbed, beach after beach, white turning brown and red attempting to look like Jordan! Is it worth it? Ask your oncologist!
Sikh people save indigenous Brits!
The world has turned a full circle, Brits raped, pillaged and robbed during the RAJ and now Sikhs living in Britain are helping down and out Brits to get a decent meal! Double standards maybe?
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