Showing snippets written by Jaggedone.
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Sheepshaggers fail to penetrate Chris the sheep!
Australian sheepshaggers desperate to penetrate Chris the sheep because of his abnormal size have failed because sheep-shearers saved Chris's virginity by shearing him, just in time!
Thank heavens there's not another K in KK!
Kim Kardashian is missing a K and if she had another one that would be real news, but sadly she only has a Big B and 2 huge BB's and her dad is jealous!
Donald is a lame duck!
The US have chosen their next president because they've had enough of lame ducks and prefer a hard-nut pussy!
Premiership starts with a massive hangover!
Not only binging Premier Clubs throwing millions out of the window have a hangover, players do too. Angel (well he thinks he is) Di Maria had a stinking hangover in Manchester and went AWOL, ARSEHOLE
It's round, faraway & f'ing freezing!
Who really gives a f++k about Pluto? Obviously mad scientists do because they love throwing billions into outer space to prove what we all know; there aint nobody f'ing out there!
Greece saved from the abyss!
An army of 300 Spartans has saved Greece for going down the pot led by Ataturk who stopped them at the pearly gates of hell; Merkel gnashed her rather green teeth!
Jawohl we have a Pigclimber!
Basti Schweinsteiger has joined United and piggies all over Europe a oinking becasue he is a legendary Pigclimber! If he can do it so can all piggies, Grunt, grunt!
Cameron is a lying creep!
The Right Honorable David Cameron PM, proved today what the world already knew, politicians are a bunch of lying creeps and this idiot takes the biscuit while the poorest of the poor, get the crumbs!
John Travolta in "Greece Frightening!"
John is not to be reunited with Olivia in the latest blockbuster movie, Greece Frightening, she told producers to stuff their Drachmas where the sun don't shine, John didn't mind, he's broke anyway!
Balotelli for United!
I actually think Balotelli would be a great buy for United! Am I mad?
Pythagoras evicted from his cave!
The ghost of Pythagoras has been evicted from his cave on Samos because he hasn't paid a drachma in tax. Angie Merkel thought it was sad and hopes Greece will also be evicted!
Courtney Love flashes pussy at Parisian protestors!
Courtney Love Cobain (who?) escaped the Parisian taxi driver riots by opening her knickerless thighs in a taxi and flashed down a horny motorcyclist, he could not refuse and landed in Nirvana!
Twitter goes MAD!
Twitter has been infiltrated by ex-spoofers spreading madness all over the planet. Owners of Twitter tried to stop the plague, but fell victims of spoof insanity before the straight jackets arrived!
Greek tourists abandon Greek Islands!
Tourists flocking to the sun on Greek Islands have been seen boarding abandoned rowing boats in the hope of escaping those who abandoned them! People smugglers were happy to hold out their hands!
Man United buy 5000 new players!
It has been confirmed that United are so determined to win the EPL again they have purchased 5000 new players according to the Daily Star, a serious tabloid!
Spanish village kills Jews!
An innocent Spanish village called Fort Kill Jews has been forced to change its name because there are no Jews living there and rumours circulating the area swear the mayor is a reincarnated Hitler!
Ode to Tony & George, part 2!
Read it, it aint bad!
Pope promises to make world a better place; he's resigning!
Pope Francis, a beaming light in a world full of misery, wars, confilcts, etc, has promised to make the planet a better place and is resigning! Thank the heavens, surely this is God speaking to us!
French police in Calais and truckers agree on one thing!
French poice and stuck truckers in Calais have shown solidarity! They agree Cameron is un grand cochon and illegals are tres stupid attempting to get to England to suck the welfare system dry! Oink!
Has T Rex more brainpower than the Scriptwriters of Jurassic World?
Scientists are looking at the possibility that a reincarnated T-Rex has more brains than Hollywood scriptwriters, it seems that T Rex has more after they watched Jurassic World, it was brainless!
Sheepdog drives tractor on motorway!
A sheepdog was seen driving a tractor down the M74 and it's owner was also seen barking at his herd, they ignored him of course, the farmer not the dog!
Zebras break loose in Belgium!
I just crossed them with a Beatle and got a donkey!
Surrey farmer turns his castle into luxury pig pens!
Farmer Fiddler thought he had "hey diddled" the council by building a castle without permission and was ordered to demolish it, but being a great Fiddler, his castle is now a luxury piggy B & B!
Gay penguin book banned in US!
US library and school authorities have decided to ban a book about a gay penguin couple adopting a baby! Elton John has protested and begged Penguin books to reissue the book in San Quentin!
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