Showing:

Showing snippets written by P.M. Wortham.


Show all snippets.

Showing page 1 (of 2 pages)
Rating:

Wings Win 22nd, Wortham Overdoses on Chelie's Chili Dogs

Spoofer PM Wortham gigs on one too many chili dogs at Chelie's and pays the gaseous price at the Red Wings 22nd home win. Fans gave Wortham the stink eye. Wortham just gave them the stink.

written by P.M. Wortham, 18 February 2012
Rating:

New Breakfast Cereal for Impotent Men

Marketed as "Nut & Raisin Honey", this new breakfast cereal will put a little 'Gitty Up' in your Droopy Dangle.

written by P.M. Wortham, 15 July 2010
Rating:

Massengill Desert Spring Cures Dry Crotches

New combination douche and personal lubrication product cures the dryest personal desert problem. If your cave produces nothing but dust, Desert Spring is the product for you.

written by P.M. Wortham, 18 May 2010
Rating:

"Cheese Away" Product Available for Men Who Don't Wash

For men who have difficulty understanding their nutsacks should not have "layers" of gummy material caked on them, Cheese Away dries out and flakes off weeks of accumulated ball cheese.

written by P.M. Wortham, 18 May 2010
Rating:

Herman Munster Loses Test Driver Job

Accidentally poking his flat topped melon through several convertable tops in the two-seater GM sports car line, test driver Munster was shown the door, though he dented the door frame too.

written by P.M. Wortham, 18 May 2010
Rating:

Harry Bawlsax Named Mayor of Smegma Falls

Fighting to keep the name of his city unchanged, Bawlsax won today's mayoral election and retained the name of odiferous town as Smegma Falls, Wyoming.

written by P.M. Wortham, 18 May 2010
Rating:

All Mexican Restaurants Closed

Cited as the single largest source of global warming through human refried bean methane production, all US Mexican restaurants were closed by the FDA.

written by P.M. Wortham, 18 May 2010
Rating:

Glenn Beck Surgically Alters Tear Ducts

Shedding tears on demand by squeezing his left testacle, Glenn Beck added more well orchestrated drama to his show. The tears appear to be thick and white.

written by P.M. Wortham, 18 May 2010
Rating:

World's Longest Armpit Hair Record Broken

Braided into two separate pony tails, the 47 CM long pitt hair braids of Mrs. Edna Frumpston set new world record.

written by P.M. Wortham, 18 May 2010
Rating:

Man Bites Dog But She Lives to Divorce Him

Following a night of heavy drinking, coyote ugly sex and a Vegas marriage, Vern Shanks bites his wife's arm off in the morning to get away.

written by P.M. Wortham, 18 May 2010
Rating:

SPAM Now a Salt Substitute

Provided you like the taste of Pork, thinly shaven SPAM shards add as much salt flavor to a dish as real salt, at a fraction the cost of actual salt!

written by P.M. Wortham, 21 December 2009
Rating:

Office Destops Now Made from Recycled Paper

"Great for the environment", says office furniture salesman Deszi Zellmore, "But I wouldn't spill a drop of coffee on it".

written by P.M. Wortham, 21 December 2009
Rating:

Teen's Private Santa Note Answered by MOM!

Privately asking for condoms, Santa responding in suspicious handwriting looking like own mother's, asked if he preferred ribbed or lubed.

written by P.M. Wortham, 21 December 2009
Rating:

Bon Jovi Collector Misinterprets 'Slippery When Wet'

Classic Bon Jovi vinyl collector admits years later, that he thought the breakthrough album for the group was based on driving in rainy conditions. He's still a virgin.

written by P.M. Wortham, 17 November 2009
Rating:

Parking Cops Trade Boot for Windshield Laser Imprint

Eliminating the expensive boot altogether, a new process that laser burns the words "PARKING BITCH" across the windshield, is only reversed at the station once fines are paid in full.

written by P.M. Wortham, 17 November 2009
Rating:

Homely Man Agrees to Wear Mask for Life

The personal section is full of hook up requests, including a plea from a homely but fit man looking for a wife. He agrees to wear a mask of Brad Pitt for life to secure the deal.

written by P.M. Wortham, 17 November 2009
Rating:

New Urban Dictionary Changes Coochie to Poochie

Explaining the logic for the change, dictionary author G-Ram Master Flash tells reporters that it looks and smells more like his dog's ass than anything else. "Wash that Poochie"

written by P.M. Wortham, 17 November 2009
Rating:

New York Woman Wants Shingles

Confused over a classified ad, Homer Oozel offers his Herpes Type II body to the New York woman only to find that she needed the "other kind" for her roof.

written by P.M. Wortham, 17 November 2009
Rating:

Detroit Builds 100 MPG Car - Nobody Cares

Following years of painstaking design, engineers have perfected the 100 MPG car, but is so hideous, that consumers would rather take the bus.

written by P.M. Wortham, 17 November 2009
Rating:

Bush Gets Trimmed, His Italian Barber Upset

Simply an act of convenience back in Texas, "W" got a haircut at a local barbershop instead of from his regular Italian White House barber. Aldo Spinelli replied, "Nobody trims the Bush but me!"

written by P.M. Wortham, 21 November 2008
Rating:

Jacko Sneezes on Paparazzi, Gets Sued

Looking for a quick cash settlement, a local paparazzi who was accidentally sneezed on by Michael Jackson has sued for "Battery", claiming he was done irreparable harm by Jacko's phlegm.

written by P.M. Wortham, 21 November 2008
Rating:

Artie Lange Writes Bestseller?

Fresh from heroin addiction, drug rehab and several bouts with his analyst, Mr. Lange managed to write enough words to fill a tell-all book. Trading heroin for cupcakes, he is now addicted to food.

written by P.M. Wortham, 21 November 2008
Rating:

Tiny Tim's Eukulele Sells for 1.3 Million

Feared lost among television paraphernalia, the puny string guitar from Johnny Carson's frequently visiting falsetto guest sold at auction to Myron Fump, a eunuch and former Vienna Boys Choir member.

written by P.M. Wortham, 17 October 2008
Rating:

Oprah Lavishes Gifts on Homeless Audience

Inviting Chicago's homeless into her audience for a special episode, Oprah donated numerous gifts to them all including; Dyson vacuums, RevereWare pots, Hamilton blenders, and Swiffer Wet Jets.

written by P.M. Wortham, 17 October 2008
Showing page 1 (of 2 pages)


Send To A Friend

Send this site to a friend!

Friend's Email:

Your Name:

What's 4 multiplied by 4?

7 8 16 12

RSS & Feeds

The Spoof is proud to present all its stories as RSS Feeds.

More Info...


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 2?

1 10 16 5

80 readers are online right now!

Go to top