Spoof Snippets
Showing snippets written by Abel Rodriguez.
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The Gynecologist and The Sounds of Money
A Milwaukee gynecologist has stated that ever since he installed a slot machine in his waiting room, his patients have tripled in number.
The Unbelievable Mississippi Catfish
A game warden in Mississippi has found a catfish that can swim at speeds of up to 92 miles per hour, walk on land, fly, and count from 1 to 3.
The Alaskan Weatherman Was Kicked Out Into The Cold
A weatherman in Juneau, Alaska, has been fired for referring to snow during a live weathercast as that gosh darn, friggin, damn white stuff.
Cleveland Scientists Make An Amazing Prehistoric Discovery
A group of Cleveland scientists excavating in Laos claim to have discovered what they believe to be two prehistoric basketballs.
The Well Hidden, Hidden Camera
Brooklyn Police break up a surveillance camera stealing ring operation with the help of a surveillance camera.
Apple's New Name Change
Apple has just announced that in an effort to have a more modern sounding name, effective August 1, 2013, they will be changing their corporate name from Apple to Avocado.
The FBI Pays A Pocatello Man A Visit
A man in Pocatello, Idaho, received a visit from FBI agents after they were tipped off that he had placed three drones on eBay.
Sarah Palin Is One Desperate GOPette
Sarah "Snowflake" Palin is so desperate for attention that she has stated that she would be willing to get tattoos, body piercings, and even a girlfriend to get herself back in the spotlight.
Rush Limbaugh Denies A Romantic Rumor
GOP mouthpiece Rush Limbaugh has adamantly stated that the rumors romantically linking him and Omarosa are positively false.
The Marital Trade-Off
A Chicago woman tells her husband to either stop smoking or else she's leaving him. The husband replies "Bye, and don't forget to take your stash of heroin."
"Michelle Hon, Can You Move A Little To The Left Please"
President Obama recently confessed that he enjoys his teleprompters so much that he has even had one installed in his bedroom.
Another Big Foot Sighting?
Wyoming officials say the giant size 18 footprints campers came across a few days ago were not made by Big Foot but by Happy, the Shrine Circus fat lady who recently picnicked in the Wyoming woods.
KIA's Rhythmic Recall
KIA is recalling 400,000 KIA Magna Carta's that were built in 2011. It seems that if the car should hit speeds of 50 miles per hour the windshield wipers could completely fly off the windshield.
Earthquakes Have Now Joined Hurricane Status
The U.S. Meteorological Society has announced that effective immediately earthquakes like hurricanes will now have names. The first six names are Alonso, Betty, Cordelia, DeKeysha, Elmer, and Fifi.
Montana Approves A Roadkill Bill
Lawmakers in Helena, Montana have voted to allow residents to salvage meat from wild animals killed on the states highways. One senator stated that this falls under Montana's 55 Second Rule.
From The Lips of Governor Jan "The Traditionalist" Brewer
Arizona Governor Jan Brewer has said that if women want to marry other women then it is only right that one of them be required to wear the pants.
Massachusetts - The Hands On State
The state of Massachusetts has just banned the gesture known as high-fiving. They stated that it could lead to low-fiving, which could then lead to...well you-know-what.
The Astounding Planet Mercury
After years of extensive studies, scientists report that the planet Mercury is actually made up of 71 percent mercury.
A Ketchup Recall
The Big Red Mater Ketchup Company, which is based in Atlanta, is recalling over 800,000 bottles of ketchup due to the fact that they may contain slight traces of mustard.
Minnesota Teacher Fired For Drawing Pornographic Stick People
Lola Belle Prinski, a St. Paul, Minnesota teacher stated she was just trying to visually demonstrate to her second graders the art of safe sex.
The State of Ohio Is Not Happy
The state of Ohio has just announced that it has just passed a law that anyone who is photographed smiling in their police mug shot will be fined $700.
Where Oh Where Is The $700 Million?
The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development announced that it is missing $700 million from the Katrina Fund. Reports are that the money was filtered into a state mosquito spraying account.
Kendra Wilkinson Quits "Splash"
The reality TV show star said that the reason why she refused to dive was because of the "Don't Go Swimming, If You've Eaten Within The Hour" rule.
Ted Nugent Will Be The Opening Act For a 60's Revival Concert of The Mamas and The Papas
Promoters are calling the event Guns and Roses.
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