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Barclays

Effitall Banking!

written by asphyxiation, 05 July 2012
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Fish And Chips Blamed For UK Obesity Crisis.

A Government Health Spokesman said clearly we needed a change for the batter.

written by asphyxiation, 03 July 2012
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Clarkson To Follow Ramsey In Prison Cookery Show

'Top Gear' to take on whole new meaning.

written by asphyxiation, 03 July 2012
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Two Lorries Containing Playground Equipment Collided Today.

Efforts to clear the debris were hampered by bad weather. A Police spokesman described it as "swings and roundabouts".

written by asphyxiation, 27 June 2012
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A High Street Camping Store Has Announced New Staff Training Measures.

A recent participant described it as "in-tents".

written by asphyxiation, 27 June 2012
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Eddie Izzard Found Collapsed After Latest Marathon Attempt.

He was said to be in "dis-dress"

written by asphyxiation, 27 June 2012
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Viagra & Durex To Merge

"Something for the weak end sir?"

written by asphyxiation, 23 June 2012
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Someone Said Take That

and they did

written by asphyxiation, 23 June 2012
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Teachers Slam Phonics Screening Check For 6 Year Olds

claiming it will 'C-on-f-use K-ids'.

written by asphyxiation, 21 June 2012
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Doctors At An NHS Funded Clinic

specialising in the treatment of Bulimia, have threatened to go on hunger strike today over pay and working conditions.

written by asphyxiation, 21 June 2012
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Boots Chemist To Launch its New 'Polite' Range

Boots have decided the time is right to combine its Make Up Section with its Drug Range. It will be known as Complementary Medicine .

written by asphyxiation, 21 June 2012
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Falkland Islanders Told To Defend Themselves

Due to armed forces cut backs the islanders have been advised to defend themselves using turd'pedos. They will be guided by the latest Sat-Lav Technology

written by asphyxiation, 12 June 2012
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Irish Scientists Have Created The Worlds Thinest Glass

it is said to be so thin go can almost see through it

written by asphyxiation, 12 June 2012
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Latest Strike News

The Ramblers Association have threatened a mass walkout. It will take place on the one sunny weekend in August.

written by asphyxiation, 12 June 2012
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Manchester United To Launch New Product Line

it is to be known as Man U Facturers

written by asphyxiation, 03 June 2012
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Sheepdog Trials Latest.

In a dramatic climax yesterday, four Border Collies were convicted of harassing sheep .

written by asphyxiation, 03 June 2012
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Andy Murray was attacked by two Mafioso at The French Open

He defended himself with the first thing that came to hand, later describing it as a protection racket.

written by asphyxiation, 03 June 2012
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BNP Leader Nick Griffin

has been banned from a school sportsday after refusing to take part in a mixed race.

written by asphyxiation, 31 May 2012
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Wikipedia crashed earlier today

after an eight letter word appeared in The Sun

written by asphyxiation, 31 May 2012
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Queen to sue Tetleys over copyright infringement

she is said to be demanding Royal Teas

written by asphyxiation, 31 May 2012
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Zuckerberg to launch subsidiary company

Facepalm!!!!!!!!

written by asphyxiation, 29 May 2012
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A washing line thief is to appeal his conviction

after describing his original trial as complete pants

written by asphyxiation, 28 May 2012
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Jimmy and Alan Carr not lovers

sorry........brothers

written by asphyxiation, 26 May 2012
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Austerity good for business

claims Wonga boss

written by asphyxiation, 26 May 2012
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