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Britain admits Royal Navy doesn't have any submarines.

Britain admitted yesterday that the Royal Navy doesn't have any submarines and hasn't had any since the second world war. The Secretary of State for Defence declined to comment.

written by Glen Jacobs, 30 July 2014
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Nick Clegg admits he is not very good at his job.

Nick Clegg admitted yesterday he isn't comfortable at number 11 downing street and doesn't really know what he is doing there. David Cameron declined to comment.

written by Glen Jacobs, 30 July 2014
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US say Falklands was probably there's after massive oil reserves found.

America is sending warships to the Falklands after claiming the island was probably there's and deny the claim has anything to do with the massive oil reserves that have been discovered on the island.

written by Glen Jacobs, 29 July 2014
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BT public payphone found working in Yarmouth.

A British telecom payphone has been found working in Yarmouth by a man who wanted to call a cab. A spokesman for Bt said " we aim to have three working in the UK by 2016"

written by Glen Jacobs, 29 July 2014
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Waterproof Seats fitted in cinemas ahead Of 'Fifty Shades' Film Release

Cinemas across the UK are to have waterproof seats fitted prior to the release of the film version of Fifty Shades Of Grey early next year.

written by Glen Jacobs, 29 July 2014
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David Cameron tells UK "Depression Over'

David Cameron declared his fight with depression over yesterday, and told reporters "Doctors have tried me on a new type of drug which has made me a new man"

written by Glen Jacobs, 25 July 2014
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Homeless man under house arrest.

Gerry Southgate of no fixed abode was told by Liverpool Magistrates after being convicted of burglary he was to be put under house arrest effectively leaving him a free man.

written by Glen Jacobs, 25 July 2014
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Government to use Jersey to stockpile Russian dolls.

David Cameron amidst fears Britain will stop trading with Russia is going to use Jersey to stockpile Russian dolls. Jersey citizens will be moved to Suffolk.

written by Glen Jacobs, 23 July 2014
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Doctor found in uk with readable handwriting

A Doctor has been found in the UK who has actually got handwriting you are able to understand. DR Harrison a GP in Scunthorpe Lincolnshire was unavailable to comment.

written by Glen Jacobs, 19 July 2014
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Fifa tells Google they cannot bid to be World cup hosts.

Google's chances of hosting a world cup have been scuppered after Fifa tells them they are not actually a country. Google plans to take there case to the high Court.

written by Glen Jacobs, 19 July 2014
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School Children will be able to cane there teacher by 2016

School Children in the UK will soon be able to cane there teachers if they see a deterioration in behaviour from 2016.
Headmasters are said to welcome the idea.

written by Glen Jacobs, 19 July 2014
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Tesco blames losses on its ridiculously big stores.


Tesco has confirmed its first fall in annual profits for 20 years and blames it on the 340 ridiculously big stores
they have opened accoss the uk.

written by Glen Jacobs, 17 April 2013
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Government hails success of best ever April Fools 'Bedroom tax' prank

No. 10 Downing Street confirmed in a statement this morning that the controversial new bedroom tax was merely an elaborate prank and cant believe anyone was taken in by it.

written by Glen Jacobs, 03 April 2013
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Hosepipe ban imminent.

Anglia Water says it must introduce a hosepipe ban soon otherwise we will have nothing to do. The ban due to start next week will safeguard several jobs within the company.

written by Glen Jacobs, 07 January 2013
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Police Community Support Dog's to be trialed.

The use of Police Community Support Dog's or PCSD'S for short are to be trialed by Suffolk Police. However they will not have the same powers as real Police dogs and will only be used as a deterrent.

written by Glen Jacobs, 07 January 2013
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National lottery says ITV'S new channel ITV minus1 could attract cheaters.

The National lottery says ITV'S new channel ITV minus1 could attract cheaters. The new channel which shows programs an hour early is due to start in July.

written by Glen Jacobs, 02 May 2012
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Warner Loss

Warner Bros are to make a film ironically about a film company who makes massive losses on a film it directs and is due out in cinemas in August.

written by Glen Jacobs, 02 May 2012
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Katie Price's wedding dress maker see's record profits.

Katie Price's wedding dress maker has just announced record profits, and said next year could be even better.

written by Glen Jacobs, 02 May 2012
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Crime statistic report stolen from Mp's home.

A report into burglerys commited in the Uk has been stolen from a Mp's home. The paper which had taken two years to compile is the only known copy and police are eager to trace its where abouts.

written by Glen Jacobs, 06 April 2012
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Hosepipe ban puts lives at risk says fireman.

Fireman say lives are being put at risk after hosepipe bans are being introduced across the Uk. Fireman who rely on hosepipes must now try and stamp out fires with there feet.

written by Glen Jacobs, 06 April 2012
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Thousands late for work as trains accidentally run on time.

Train passengers all over Britain were late for work yesterday as trains accidentally ran ontime. A spokesman for British rail apologized and said its normal bad service will resume tomorrow.

written by Glen Jacobs, 04 April 2012
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Google may have nuclear capabilities warns Microsoft.

Software giants Microsoft yesterday accused Google of having nuclear capabilities, a spokesmen from Google laughed and said "that's rubbish" and agreed to let weapon inspectors into googles offices.

written by Glen Jacobs, 26 March 2012
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Google may have nuclear capabilities warns Microsoft.

Software giants Microsoft yesterday accused Google of having nuclear capabilities, a spokesmen from Google laughed and said "that's rubbish" and agreed to let weapon inspectors into googles offices.

written by Glen Jacobs, 26 March 2012
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Freddie starr nearly eaten by giant hamster.

Comedian Freddie Starr was seriously ill in hospital last night after nearly being eaten alive by a giant hamster. Many people have said revenge is sweet.

written by Glen Jacobs, 26 March 2012
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