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Showing snippets written by Ellie James.


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Stevie Wonder Files for Divorce

Stevie Wonder filed for divorce. According to reports, he and his wife didn't see eye to eye.

written by Ellie James, 04 August 2012
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Tom Cruise Scouts NYC Pads

Tom Cruise scouts NYC pads. However he's having a hard time deciding between extra absorbant night time pads and regular.

written by Ellie James, 24 July 2012
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Rapper Ice T Makes Documentary

Ice T Makes a hip hop documentary. His studio will offer two versions: sweet and unsweet.

written by Ellie James, 24 July 2012
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Olympic Flame Finally Arrives in London

The Olympic flame arrives in London. Organizers realize too late that it arrived too late for the rioting qualifications.

written by Ellie James, 24 July 2012
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Spam Server Shuts Down

Major spam server shuts down. Millions of confused Monty Python fans are very upset.

written by Ellie James, 24 July 2012
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Rupert Murdock Quits

Rupert Murdock quits board of British newspapers. He will instead invest in surfboards.

written by Ellie James, 24 July 2012
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Studies Show 80% of People Watch Sports On-Line This Summer

80% of people watching sports this summer will do so on-line. 100% of those people will do so after watching on-line porn.

written by Ellie James, 20 July 2012
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Man With Bizarre Anatomy has Run-In with TSA

Man with bizarre anatomy has run-in with TSA. TSA was shocked to discover it really was just a banana in his pocket.

written by Ellie James, 20 July 2012
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The Moon to be 51st State

After hearing Newt Gingrich's comments the other day, the US is prepared to colonize the moon thus making it the 51st state in the Union.

written by Ellie James, 27 January 2012
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Yeti Lobster Terrorizes Cats

The Yeti Lobster has resurfaced in Key West only to terrorize the cats residing at the Hemingway House.

written by Ellie James, 24 January 2012
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Humbug Fish Currency Project to Begin

In time for Christmas, the US Treasury Department approves of using the Humbug Fish instead of the $5.00 bill.

written by Ellie James, 19 December 2011
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Celebrity Chefs Confused with Pizzas new Status

Celebrity Chefs are baffled as to why Congress proclaims pizza is a vegetable when it clearly should be classified as cardboard.

written by Ellie James, 20 November 2011
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Pizza is Now a Vegetable

After Congress votes that pizza is now a vegetable for school lunches, pizza is upset because kids tend not to like vegetables.

written by Ellie James, 20 November 2011
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Fruit Lobby Prepares to Protest Ruling

The fruit lobby is upset that pizza is considered a vegetable in US schools. "It should be a fruit. Tomatoes are actually fruit."

written by Ellie James, 20 November 2011
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The Statue of Liberty will Party Like it's 1999

The Statue of Liberty is upset as news spreads that the bust of Winston Churchill will not be at her party.

written by Ellie James, 31 October 2011
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The US will Introduce Fish as Currency

Beginning next fall, the US Treasury Department will begin using mackerel as currency.

written by Ellie James, 31 October 2011
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Syria vs Libya

Syria and Libya are different for many reasons. Their names are spelled differently, for one.

written by Ellie James, 08 September 2011
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America's Blood Supply Infected

As parasites invade the US blood supply, America's blood banks freak out. The Vampire population, however, remain complacent.

written by Ellie James, 07 September 2011
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iSpoof App left at local bar

An unnamed Spoof reported reportedly left the recently reviewed yet not released iSpoof App at a bar.

written by Ellie James, 01 September 2011
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Iran Outlaws Playing with Slinkies

Just days after outlawing playing with water guns, Iranian officials have decided to outlaw slinkies as well. Iranian lawmakes obviously don't know it's the best of the toys.

written by Ellie James, 01 September 2011
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Newest Dummies book is Hugely Popular in Libya

IDG books states they are pleased that their recently published How to Run a Country For Dummies is flying off the shelves in Libya.

written by Ellie James, 24 August 2011
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Rioting To Be Introduced as a Sport in 2012 Olympics

Olympic organizers in London have decided, upon the police not being able to effectively control the youth in the UK, to just have rioting be an Olympic sport.

written by Ellie James, 10 August 2011
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The US shakes its head at the S&P Downgrade

The White House now regrets not switching to the rechargeable AAA rating.

written by Ellie James, 09 August 2011
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Scientists Make Discovery About Antimatter Belt

Scientists discover that the antimatter belt surrounding Earth is actually made of lamb skin.

written by Ellie James, 08 August 2011
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