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Future Superstorm, "SnoWallopAlooza", Shuts Down East Coast

A MONSTER storm that might pack blizzard conditions spun by the elite East-Coast media will, hopefully, live up to the hype, but New York City and Washington DC shut down anyway.

written by Moose, 21 January 2016
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Yosemite park plans to change some ironic names

The National Park Service announced today that it was changing the names of The Redskin hotel, Jungle Bunny Village and other beloved park sites.

written by Moose, 14 January 2016
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EPA Formally Declares Clouds a Dangerous Pollutant

The declaration came after a new study indicated that clouds are melting the Greenland Ice Sheet.

written by Moose, 13 January 2016
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Donald Trump To Wear Monica Lewinsky's Blue Dress For All Remaining Debates

He will also wear it during the Presidential debate with Hillary Clinton, if he wins the Republican nomination.

written by Moose, 03 January 2016
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Democrat Presidential candidate, Senator Bernie Sanders proposed a maximum wage of $16 per hour.

In addition, Senator Sanders supports a minimum wage of $15 per hour.

written by Moose, 01 January 2016
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Hillary Clinton Says She will Toss Trump's Salad

Democrat Presidential hopeful, Hillary Rodham Clinton said today that she will "Toss Trump's Salad", if he is the Republican candidate in 2016.

written by Moose, 23 December 2015
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Al Qaeda Pharmaceuticals Changes Its Name

Al Qaeda Pharmaceuticals on Friday announced that it will change its name ISIS Pharmaceuticals.

written by Moose, 20 December 2015
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US-ISIS Deal Allows 110 Mass-Killings Per Day

President Obama and ISIS have struck a deal to allow as many as 110 mass-killings per day in the USA.

written by Moose, 17 December 2015
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Jeb Bush Outs Donald Trump As A Democrat Secret Agent

Donald Trump was outed today by Jeb Bush as a secret double-agent, sent by Democrats to destroy the Republican party.

written by Moose, 17 December 2015
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First British Astronaut Arrives At Space Station To Fix Oil Leak

Mike Oxbig was tapped by the European Space Agency (ESA), after an oil leak was discovered on the space station last month.

written by Moose, 16 December 2015
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Obama's to Sing Final State Of The Union Address

The president will sing the address, accompanied by the band, Coldplay.

written by Moose, 01 December 2015
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Obama to put 50,000 boots on the ground to combat 26 US State Governors

President Barack Hussein Obama announced today that he has authorized 25,000 troops to be deployed to 26 of the United States to enforce his decision to allow Syrian refugees to infiltrate the USA.

written by Moose, 17 November 2015
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Jerry Bruckheimer Arrested After Shooting Pilot

Jerome Leon ("Jerry") Bruckheimer was arrested today after the FBI discovered that he had shot a pilot.

written by Moose, 17 November 2015
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Obama Vows to 'Redouble' Islamic State Fight After Paris

Opening two days of talks with world leaders in Turkey, Obama pledged to send an additional 50 troops to Syria, bringing the total US force to 100.

written by Moose, 15 November 2015
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HUD proposes masturbation ban in public housing, citing dangers of warts

In an effort to reduce warts, the federal government is seeking to ban masturbation in all of the nation's 13.2 million public housing units.

written by Moose, 12 November 2015
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Golfers To March Across America, Demanding Free Greens Fees

Golfers were set to walk off golf courses across the United States today to protest ballooning greens fees and rally for free golf balls.

written by Moose, 12 November 2015
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Ben Carson Claimed He Masturbated as a Boy, But Can't Prove It

Dr. Ben Carson says he was prone to masturbating during his youth until he had a religious experience in the bathroom of his Detroit home.

written by Moose, 08 November 2015
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Obama Rejects Keystone XL, Then Issues Executive Order Mandating Keystone XXXL, Citing Political Climate Change

Immediately following the rejection of the Keystone XL pipeline, Obama issued an executive order, mandating the construction of the Keystone XXXL pipeline, citing recent political climate change.

written by Moose, 07 November 2015
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Obama Faces Tough Battle In House To Pass KFC

President Obama now faces probably his toughest dining-room challenge since passage of mashed potatoes in 2009 - persuading Malia and/or Michelle to pass the fried chicken (KFC).

written by Moose, 06 November 2015
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Obama Issues Executive Order, Renaming Political Parties

The Democratic party shall be referred to as "The Supreme Democratic Party", while the Republican party shall be called "The Repuglican Order of Christian Taliban Douche-bags".

written by Moose, 05 November 2015
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Obama Issues Executive Order Mandating That Ex-Cons Be Hired For All Federal Jobs

President Obama announced today that a new Executive Order has been issued, requiring that former convicts be hired for all federal government jobs.

written by Moose, 02 November 2015
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Hurricane Patricia Disappoints Cable News Networks

NOA forecasters say Hurricane Patricia has crossed into Mexico and has caused little damage, dashing the hopes of cable news networks.

written by Moose, 25 October 2015
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EPA Formally Declares Humans are Danger to Environment

The United States EPA announced today that humans threaten public health and the environment.

written by Moose, 20 October 2015
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After Four Years of Failure, Obama Looks to Russia, North Korea and Iran for Help

When President Obama spoke at the United Nations Monday, he begged for cooperation with North Korea, Iran and Russia in an effort to end the Syrian civil war that has left the Middle East in ruin.

written by Moose, 28 September 2015
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