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Pope: Bwahaha, I'll be dead in three years!
God: On your knees, Monsignor, it could be as early AS NEXT WEEK!
Gaza beach dreams shattered once more
Yep, the Germans are at it again bagging all the best spots with their towels
Scientists say NASA's angel dust may be from another system
Blame those evil drug peddling Cardassians!
Proof if ever you needed it that the Tooth Fairy just hated the Earth's Cretinaceous period
World's skies was once dominated by Ancient Toothless Pterosaurs
Steve Ballmer says leaving Microsoft makes him feel battered
Starts working Monday behind the counter at a new Fish & Chip shop near Broadway
Julian Assange looks like a dead ringer for Richard Branson
Nicotine-streaked grey hair and Hitler mustache a bit of a giveaway
Iceland volcano blows again
Guess that puts country's fracking plans on hold another 100 years or so
Reporting blackout over Cliff Richard's police interview
Judge even bans anyone tweeting 'it's so funny how we don't talk any more', threatens contempt proceedings
Accounting giant fined $25m for terrorist money laundering
Appeal lawyers will claim nobody suspected Brit royals of being on the Ten Most Wanted List.
New Jersey economy may warp Chris Christie's presidential buns. Uh, run, he ain't got buns.
Human frights activists repel Brunei Sultan's hotel bid
Bad enough having his brother Prince Jefri's mega yacht 'Tits' prowling Long Island Sound
WTF 'Brooklyn filmmaker reveals importance of using suntan lotion'
Someone forgot to smear the danglies at the nudist beach again?
Rafael Nadal pulls out early from US Open
New balls, please!
Global Nutella shortage after hazelnut harvest declared a disaster
No wonder those crazy jihadis Re going cold turkey all over the place
Trash Talk bassist shoots down spying drone above concert
Witnesses say the drone was hovering over the moshing pit stealing fans' marijuana spiffs
Assange plans midnight flit from Ecuadorian embassy asylum
Cops say he's been watching hundreds of reruns of Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid final scene
Medical examiner found marijuana in Michael Brown's system
Ok, Ok, there were also six bullets. Just sayin
Like a pus-filled zit on Iraq's backside
Prince Charles lays on the compliments at Islamic State militants
NJ Gov Chris Christie reported facing mounting suits
Nothing fits anymore since he lost the first 60 lbs
Three things Obama can do to make the US immigration system better AND rewrite his legacy
Resign. Resign. Resign.
Tribute to Robin Williams carries a powerful message
Don't mix bourbon and cocaine for breakfast
Downton Abbey cast responds to latest internet virus
Entire crew quarantined until Ebola blood tests prove negative
Katy Perry gets her nose pierced
Rhinoplasty surgeons reckon it should stop the nocturnal snoring.
Christina Aguilera's babyfather to be named today
No wonder Rafael Nadal has legged it.
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