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6739#0
Bush Will Be Joining The Ranks of The Unemployed
President Bush has agreed to sign a bill that will extend the jobless benefits for the unemployed. Well, how about that. It will sure come in handy for him, Dicky Cheney, and Condi Rice.
6740#0
The World's Sexiest Woman
Lingerie model Karolina Kurkova has been voted the world's sexiest woman. Runner-up Angelina Jolie remarked, "Big deal, I have way more tattoos than she does."
6741#0
Joaquin Phoenix & Paris Hilton
Joaquin Phoenix has stated that he will be retiring from acting. Meanwhile Paris Hilton recently remarked that she is seriously considering retiring from doing nothing.
6733#0
The $150 Million-a-Year Ransom Business
This past year the Somali pirates have made over $150 million in ransoms. It looks like maybe the 'Big Three' auto giants, Ford, Chrysler, and General Motors need to hire these boys as consultants.
6729#0
Will The 'Big Three' Lower Their Vehicle Prices?
General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler report record low auto sales. They ask for a $25 billion bailout. Here's a better idea, "Just look at Toyota and do
exactly what they are doing."
6727#0
The Rolling Stones just keep on rolling
Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger has said that lately he has been feeling somewhat depressed. He told a reporter for the BBC, "I just can't seem to get no satisfaction."
6736#0
The 'Bailout 'Money' Line Stretches Around The Block
Wall Street whined and cried and received a $700 billion bailout. The 'Big Three' car companies want a $25 billion bailout. Now prisoners at Sing Sing Prison are demanding 'bailout' money also.
6738#0
The World Greatest Proofing People
A team of European physicists has corroborated Albert Einstein's 'e=mc2' theory. The team's next project will be to prove that the surface of the sun is in fact, 'hotter-than-hell!'
6728#0
Helen's Gender Song
Helen Reddy's manager has said that Ms. Reddy will be releasing an updated version of her hit, "I Am Woman." The song due out in March is named, "I Am An Old Woman."
6734#0
President Bush's 'Word Count'
President Bush when told that Baghdad protesters had burned him in effigy replied, "Well I've got seven words for those fellas, 'I am still the president, and I am still gonna be bombing your ass.'"
6737#0
Happy Birthday To The NASA Space Station
NASA's Space Station celebrated its 10th birthday. Everything went great except that one of the birthday candles came off the cake and accidentally burned up a Swedish satellite that was passing by.
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