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FBI and Department of Homeland Insecurity Issue New Warning

Supreme intelligence and amazing revelations never cease. FBI and Homeland Insecurity Directors Bob Mullethead and Tom the Bomb Rigid made the following announcement today:...

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Laura Bush Seeks Divorce

Funny story: Laura Bush Seeks Divorce

Citing "irreconcilable indifferences, his thing is way too small and other problems," Laura Bush has filed for divorce against King George the Dunce.

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Rappers Hold Charity Event, Proceeds to Benefit Themselves and Other Battered Mental Midgets

The chorus rang out: "Yo, yo, yo. Yo sistuh be a ho."...

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Ted Williams' Head Hits .356

Without batting an eye, Ted Williams' noggin went 3 for 4 against the Devil Rays today. "I can see beyond being beheaded and otherwise dismembered," Ted's head said after the game.

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More Dumsfeld Backward Speak, America's Word Warrior Spews Anew

Funny story: More Dumsfeld Backward Speak, America's Word Warrior Spews Anew

Out of his straight jacket, Ronald Dumsfeld readdressed his mess today: "Shucking fit! These aggelations and assucations are wabberjockey and jumbo mumbo! Let it be known, I have known the unknown. And what is worth having is not worth having ha...

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Too Many Headlines, No Space for Stories

The World's Press Roundup...

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David Wells Drinks Two Cases of Beer, Throws No-Hitter

Bragging that he throws better when he's severely intoxicated, David Wells tossed a no-hitter against the Montreal Expos immediately after drinking 24 beers in one hour on Tuesday. "I thmelled like a frat house at 2 a.m. Would you be cumferb...

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Ronald Dumsfeld Rejected by His Own Poetry, Has Spoonerism and Blather Fit

In a mit of fadness, Ronald Dumsfeld has finally cracked into spasms of ackbasswardness: "My poetry has become vull and noid, dull and toyed, obscure and oblique, inured and to seek. To know is to unknow, as knowing is never to have known the u...

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Kerry Dumps Depp, Chooses Jay Leno

Funny story: Kerry Dumps Depp, Chooses Jay Leno

In a complete surprise to everyone, including himself, John Kerry has already dropped Johnny Depp and chosen Jay Leno to be his VP in the upcoming general erection. When asked about this perplexing decision, Kerry said: "It's in Jay's ch...

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Bush Memo "Leaked"

Funny story: Bush Memo "Leaked"

A document from The Whitey House, discovered near a urinal on Capitol Hill, has been turned over to The Spoof. Its contents follow:...

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Bush Rice Beef

Funny story: Bush Rice Beef

King Dumya and Condoleeza Rice became embroiled in a name-calling contest on Monday. According to Secretary of State Colon Bowel, Condi became upset when Dubya referred to her as "Condopizza Teeth" and "Ms. Ricecake Gaptooth."

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Breaking news…

Putin Hacked The Emmys

NBC, ABC, and CBS all claim that Russian President Putin hacked the Emmy Award computers, to explain how unknown, barely-viewed shows on Netflix and HBO could win so many awards.
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