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Funny story: New "Survivor" Location for Next Season Revealed--the South Side of Chicago

New "Survivor" Location for Next Season Revealed--the South Side of Chicago

Moving away from its tropical island format, the reality show, "Survivor" will be held in a tenement in the South Side of Chicago next season. "We felt we needed a bit more danger in the show as well as a change of scene," said LeRoy Brown, the...
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Funny story: Big Mac Gives Birth to Baby Boy

Big Mac Gives Birth to Baby Boy

Much to the surprise of the MacDonald's employees at 8th and Marsh in Fort Lauderdale, Florida this morning (average age 68), the 279th Big Mac of the day gave birth to a beautiful baby boy before being stuffed into a sack for a drive-thru customer.
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Funny story: Anthony Perkins Killed While Showering

Anthony Perkins Killed While Showering

In an ironic twist, actor Anthony Perkins was killed by an unknown assailant last night while showering. Prematurely reported as dying from AIDS in the early 90's, Perkins recently emerged from oblivion and made the rounds at the big studios hunting...
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Funny story: Accounting Rules Soon to Apply to Pet Grooming

Accounting Rules Soon to Apply to Pet Grooming

The Financial Accounting Standards Board (FASB) ruled today that pet grooming will be subject to accounting oversight as of June 30, 2009 because they have been unable to account for the 12 billion in bailout money they received last fall. "Thes...
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Funny story: Sony Pictures and YouTube Deal Will Make Us All Pros

Sony Pictures and YouTube Deal Will Make Us All Pros

Discussions between YouTube and Sony Pictures have been rumored for weeks with insiders indicating YouTube was interested in full length motion pictures for its website. Nobody, however, knew what YouTube could possibly have that would interest a bi...
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Funny story: North Carolina Caught Cheating in NCAA Final

North Carolina Caught Cheating in NCAA Final

Rodney Jumper, fraud investigator, amateur computer geek and A/V guy, stunned the sports world this morning with a video analysis showing that North Carolina cheated in last night's final with Michigan State. In a prepared statement, Jumper annou...
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Funny story: Time Travel Works, Language Instructor Says (Said?)

Time Travel Works, Language Instructor Says (Said?)

Billy Pilgrimage, language teacher at Palm Springs Montessori and amateur inventor, announces at a press conference of science journalists that he creates (yesterday) a time machine that actually works. "I am not really much of an inventor," he...
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Funny story: Madoff Gives Back Money

Madoff Gives Back Money

Saying he is really, really sorry and that he has learned that he "can't take it with him," Bernie Madoff has restored all 65 billion in previously stolen money to his investors. "I realized that people were quite upset with me," he said. "I a...
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Funny story: Universe No Bigger Than a Pin Prick

Universe No Bigger Than a Pin Prick

Scientists reported today that, according to their calculations, the universe, rather than being the very, very large object we have come to expect, is actually significantly smaller than the period at the end of this unusually long sentence. "A...
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Funny story: Adam Smith Summoned from Grave

Adam Smith Summoned from Grave

Facing the collapse of global capitalism, the G20, today, took the unprecedented step of summoning Adam Smith from his grave in Canongate Churchyard, Edinburgh, Scotland. In a hastily set up conference call, since the G20 actually ended last w...
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Funny story: Fed chief comments on 2 million job loss in '09

Fed chief comments on 2 million job loss in '09

"What a relief," reported Ben Bernanke when commenting on the job loss figures for the first three months of 2009. "We are finally getting some traction from stuffing all this money into the economy--American businesses are laying people off in unpr...
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Man declared dead wakes up in morgue body bag

A bloody miracle, says the mortician, considering I was about to inject him with two gallons of formaldehyde

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