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MP's to be Compensated for Loss of Hearing!

Funny story: MP's to be Compensated for Loss of Hearing!

Following the Daily Telegraph expenses revelation concerning MP's claims for hideously large amounts of renovation work to their properties, a Downing Street spokesperson has issued a statement. The statement reads: "The government is alarmed at t...

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Mexican Tourist Board Announce 'Record Holiday Bookings'!

Funny story: Mexican Tourist Board Announce 'Record Holiday Bookings'!

Juan Miguel Porky; Mexican Minister for Tourism announced on Mexican TV today that there has been a 2000% increase in holiday bookings for 2009. "Our hotels are fully booked" he said, "it seems this pig flu has really put us on the map". Supportin...

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Midlands Police Solve Body-Parts Mystery - NHS Accused of Fly-Tipping!

Funny story: Midlands Police Solve Body-Parts Mystery - NHS Accused of Fly-Tipping!

Police forces in the Midlands and Hertfordhire are congratulating themselves today after finally uncovering the mystery behind a series of body-parts found dumped in the countryside! Chief of Police: Bill Flatfoot announced that after several week...

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Last UK Wheelbarrow Manufacturer Files for Bankruptcy!

Funny story: Last UK Wheelbarrow Manufacturer Files for Bankruptcy!

The recession has claimed yet another British manufacturing victim today. The last remaining UK Wheelbarrow manufacturer; Smegma & Sons of Barrow-in-the-Shite up north have gone into receivership. A spokesperson for the receivers; Wrott &am...

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International Monetary Fund Puts Britain on eBay!

Funny story: International Monetary Fund Puts Britain on eBay!

Following a disastrous budget yesterday which will lead to total bankruptcy and civil war, the IMF lost patience with its biggest debtor and placed the entire assets and population of GB PLC on eBay. The pathetic budget, delivered by the most inco...

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Shop to Offer Tattoos & Genital Piercings in Bid to Win Supermarket Wars!

Funny story: Shop to Offer Tattoos & Genital Piercings in Bid to Win Supermarket Wars!

In an effort to get to the top of the supermarket charts, Wartnose - the upmarket - super-market - have come up with a unique add-on-service. Philip McBasket, marketing director of Wartnose said, " We have been looking for an edge, a way of usurp...

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Huge Public Concern Over New Anti-Terror Chief Replacement!

Funny story: Huge Public Concern Over New Anti-Terror Chief Replacement!

London Mayor Boris Johnson has expressed concern regarding the hasty replacement of Anti-Terror Boss Bob Quick. Home Secretary Jacqui Smiff countered Johnsons claim by saying "we would have put the British public at risk had we not replaced the bu...

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Severe Outbreak of Medieval Architectural Thrombosis Hits Cambridgeshire Village of Knapwell!

Funny story: Severe Outbreak of Medieval Architectural Thrombosis Hits Cambridgeshire Village of Knapwell!

Medical researchers at Cambridge University have published a report in this month's Lancet Magazine, highlighting the dangers of living in quaint villages in the UK. Professor Abdulla Kallifi Bin Obama - Who is an expert in quintessential Englishn...

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MoD Axe Plans To Sell-Off Snatch Land Rovers To The Public!

Funny story: MoD Axe Plans To Sell-Off Snatch Land Rovers To The Public!

Chief-of-Defence-Staff; General Sir Jock "the bayonet" Stirrup-Pump has withdrawn plans to sell off useless Army Snatch Land Rovers after a series of disastrous tests, involving housewives in a Sainsbury's car-park in Basingstoke! The "steel cof...

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Fake University Degrees Abound On The Internet: MP's In Emergency Debate!

Funny story: Fake University Degrees Abound On The Internet: MP's In Emergency Debate!

Anyone using a PC these days cannot help but notice the huge amount of spam emails offering everything from replica Rolex watches to Viagra! However, the government children's secretary Sir Ed Balls MP. M.Pharm. LL.B. BVS.c. has highlighted a worr...

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"Apple Sales Plummet in Redditch" Says Apple Sales Spokesperson in Redditch

Funny story: "Apple Sales Plummet in Redditch" Says Apple Sales Spokesperson in Redditch

Apple sales in Redditch have fallen alarmingly, according to recent sales statistics. Speaking from his stylish office suite on the 124th floor of the Redditch Apple Monitering Unit on Redditch's gentile westside, next to the Dolce & Gabbana b...

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Public Sector Workers To Be Flogged Under New Tory Administration!

Funny story: Public Sector Workers To Be Flogged Under New Tory Administration!

In a joint statement issued by Tory Leader David Cameron and Shadow Chancellor George Osborne, public sector workers, such as; teachers, policemen, council workers and nurses ("especially nurses") will be punished by public high street floggings.

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One year on, Kate Adie askes "Has Helmand Province benefitted from being a National Park"?

Funny story: One year on, Kate Adie askes "Has Helmand Province benefitted from being a National Park"?

Exactly 12 months after the United Nations granted National Park status to the Helmand Province in Afghanistan, our famous war correspondent Dame Kate Adie returns to find out if the ordinary Taliban Terrorist on the street has seen any improvements...

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Obama Enters Paris Hilton!

Funny story: Obama Enters Paris Hilton!

As the Presidential cavalcade arrived in France, disturbing reports of a severe error of judgement by the US president have been filtering in. According to our reporter - Renne Arse, Barrack Obama asked his top aid (Deaf Toni) if he could have a q...

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JK Rowlings "Henri Paul" - Biography launched to critical acclaim

Funny story: JK Rowlings "Henri Paul" - Biography launched to critical acclaim

Who would have thought that JK Rowling would follow up her last Harry Potter Book "Harry Potter stark bollock naked and a horse" with a blockbuster of a biography about Mohamed Al Fayed's Cheuffeur Henri Paul? At a packed venue in New York the gre...

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Home Secretary's reputation hits new low!

Funny story: Home Secretary's reputation hits new low!

According to our transport correspondent a new Cabinet scandal is about to hit the headlines. In a bid to avert press speculation over her failing marriage to porn critc Richard Timney, Jacqui Smith and her husband put on a full sexual display on...

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Home Secretary's antique fireplace eligable for 2nd home allowance

Funny story: Home Secretary's antique fireplace eligable for 2nd home allowance

Under-fire Labour Ministers are in a hastily convened damage limitation meeting at No10 according to Reuters news agency. Details surfaced just after lunch-time today that Jacqui Smith's 1000 pound historic Marxist fireplace had submitted claims i...

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At least 6 vegitarians killed in G20 protests

Funny story: At least 6 vegitarians killed in G20 protests

The shock discovery early this morning of 6 decomposing vegetarians on the steps of the Bank of England has lead to calls for Home Secretary Delia Smith to resign. Deputy acting vice assistant chief superintendant constable Constable of the Met sa...

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