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Adebayor claims he was trying to beat the 100m record

Funny story: Adebayor claims he was trying to beat the 100m record

The "100m" run Emmanuel Adebayor made towards Arsenal fans yesterday, was claimed by the man himself to be an official attempt to break the 100m record, set by Usain Bolt of 9.58 "sex". "Nah bro, I was just trying to win the 100m, trying to beat U...

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Andy Murray blames Andy Murray for defeat

Funny story: Andy Murray blames Andy Murray for defeat

Andy Murray was annihilated by Marin Cilic yesterday in the last 16 of the US Open. During the press conference Murray was very honest about who he blamed for the defeat. "I blame Andy Murray, he's a fuck*ng prick, he kept on putting me off, he di...

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Rooney: Tom Daley is my footballing hero

Wayne Rooney, ugly, revealed in a one on one interview with lard-arse Martin Samuel, that sexy diver Tom Daley is his footballing hero, in the early hours of Monday Morning. "I just love the way he dives... it's an inspiration to any footballer"...

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Man found in flat with penis stuck in mouth

Funny story: Man found in flat with penis stuck in mouth

A man has been found in a flat with another man's penis stuck in his mouth - literally! It is believed that the man who was having oral sex performed on him, was worried that he would not be able to "cum". He, thus, devised a plan where whilst rec...

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Rooney wants to introduce three pointer in football.

Wayne Rooney, ugly, has suggested in a frank interview with lard-arse Martin Samuel, in the early hours of Sunday morning, that football should introduce a three pointer or a "three goaler", in his own words. He believes that football should follo...

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Owen recalled by Capello

Funny story: Owen recalled by Capello

Michael Owen has been called again by Fabio Capello. Unfortunately it was only to tell him that he should consider retiring from International football. Owen told a close friend, who thus in turn told me which effectively proved the lack of closen...

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Fat Frank stops eating to talk.

Funny story: Fat Frank stops eating to talk.

Fat Frank or Lumpy Lampard, decided to stop eating yesterday. But only to ask for more food. "Give me some hamburgers and chips and pepperoni pizza with a side of steak." Quite possibly the most overrated football in the history of the game, Frank...

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Breaking news…

Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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