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Diana Ross to look after Mollie Sugden's kids!

Funny story: Diana Ross to look after Mollie Sugden's kids!

It has been revealed that the actress Mollie Sugden had expressed a wish for Diana Ross to look after her children when she died. Sugden, who did yesterday aged 86, was a long time friend of the singer, who purchased the film rights to the hit ser...

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Michael Jackson threatens to pull out of UK tour

Funny story: Michael Jackson threatens to pull out of UK tour

Michael Jackson has threatened to pull out of his proposed London shows in a row over boiled sweets. Although the promoters agreed to Jackson's demands over champagne, five star accommodation and caviar, they were not prepared to provide the star...

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Ant and Dec voted off Britain's Got Talent

Funny story: Ant and Dec voted off Britain's Got Talent

In a sensational programme last night, presenters Ant and Dec were voted off Britain's got talent in favour of an incontinent granny and a group of dancers performing in gimp masks. The red hot favourites for the show only polled 10% of the vote,...

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Swine flu - WHO speaks!

Funny story: Swine flu - WHO speaks!

The World Health Organisation today issued advice to those worried about the swine flu pandemic. A spokesman said "Run. Run very fast. Run away, Just f***ing run." Emphasising the need not to panic, he added, "If you can't run, hide. This is retri...

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Sarah Jessica Parker betting scandal

Funny story: Sarah Jessica Parker betting scandal

Bookmakers have stopped taking bets on the winner of the 2014 Grand National when it was announced that Sarah Jessica Parker was expecting twins. High Street bookmakers Bill Hill said "It is inevitable that one of the Parker offspring will win the...

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Swine flu - Mexican victim is 'taco-cardic'

Funny story: Swine flu - Mexican victim is 'taco-cardic'

A spokesman for a hospital in Mexico City has confirmed that a patient admitted with suspected swine flu has become tacocardic. The change in the patient's condition has worried officials, who previously believed that they could prevent the media...

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Swine flu vaccine 'not to be given to vegetarians'

Funny story: Swine flu vaccine 'not to be given to vegetarians'

The government confirmed today that vegetarians would not be given the swine flu vaccine as 'it's only fair.' An official statement released this morning said 'Basically, if you live by the sword you die by the sword. Millions of people in this co...

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Bobby Charlton wins 'Young Player of the Year' Award

Funny story: Bobby Charlton wins 'Young Player of the Year' Award

Bobby Charlton yesterday picked up his PFA 'Young Player of the Year' award and dedicated the honour to Sir Alex Ferguson. "Sir Alex has nurtured me through my career and without him I don't think that I would still be a professional footballer. I...

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French and Saunders - "We are funny"

Funny story: French and Saunders - "We are funny"

BAFTA Lifetime award winners Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders insisted yesterday that they were actually funny at some stage of their career. An emotional Saunders said "I realise that we haven't really made people laugh for 20 years or so, but I...

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John Terry abused by fans

Funny story: John Terry abused by fans

Chelsea and England captain John Terry yesterday relived the moment that he was abused by a West Ham fan during a weekend match. "I was about to take a throw-in when, out the corner of my eye, I saw a kid put his thumbs in his ears and waggle his...

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Liverpool - Police hunt men

Funny story: Liverpool - Police hunt men

Once again Liverpool is a city in mourning as all of Liverpool Football club's back four have gone missing. The players failed to turn up for the match against Chelsea last week but were expected to return to Anfield in last night's fixture with A...

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G20 protester - copper looked at me in a funny way

Funny story: G20 protester - copper looked at me in a funny way

There was further embarrassment for the Metropolitan Police force today as another G20 protestor claimed to have been a victim of police abuse. Fanny Munher, who couldn't actually remember why she was protesting, said that a police constable clear...

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Stephen Hawking - WD40 saved my life

Funny story: Stephen Hawking - WD40 saved my life

Stephen Hawking has been speaking today about how doctors at Addenbrookes Hospital in Cambridge managed to save his life by rushing to B&Q to buy WD40. Professor Hawking was admitted at the weekend suffering from what is thought to be a form o...

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Budget betting scandal

Funny story: Budget betting scandal

The story of a bizarre betting scandal around next Wednesday's Budget speech is emerging this morning. Bookmakers are reporting 'unusual betting trends' after several thousand pounds has been wagered on Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling sa...

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New middle of the road BBC channel to launch

Funny story: New middle of the road BBC channel to launch

The BBC have announced that they will be launching a TV channel dedicated to programmes such as 'My Family', 'The Vicar of Dibley', 'No 1 Ladies Detective Agency' and 'All the Small Things'. The channel, to be named 'BBC Twee', will contain all of...

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Liverpool awarded 2009 Champions League Cup!

Funny story: Liverpool awarded 2009 Champions League Cup!

In a sensational and unprecedented move last night UEFA announced that they have decided to award Liverpool this year's Champions League. Speaking after Liverpool's heroic and tragic 7-5 aggregate defeat to Chelsea, UEFA President Michel Platini s...

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Danniella Westbrook to present Songs of Praise

Funny story: Danniella Westbrook to present Songs of Praise

Danniella Westbrook is set to return to our screens next month when she becomes the regular presenter of the BBC's flagship religious programme Songs of Praise, rather than accepting an offer to return to Eastenders. The former soap star has had a...

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Van Persie out!

Funny story: Van Persie out!

Arsenal striker Robin Van Persie has been ruled out of Tuesday's Champions League quarter-final first leg against Villarreal due to a bizarre double booking. At the same time that he was due to start the game in Spain, he had also agreed to help...

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Breaking news…

Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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