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80% of NFL Players Gay

Funny story: 80% of NFL Players Gay

The National Football League is refusing to release the results of a survey which could prove more damaging to the NFL than any steroid or drug scandal of the past.

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Tijuana: City Of Perversions No More

Long thought of as the town across the border where anything is possible, and everything is available, Tijuana is seeking to change its image.

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Sick Truth Behind Andre The Giant's Death

Funny story: Sick Truth Behind Andre The Giant's Death

Sex scientist and forensics expert Dr. Rudolph Lassaratte today announced the results of the ten year long autopsy of professional wrestler Andre the Giant, aka Andre Rene Roussimoff. Andre died January 27, 1993 and his autopsy took as long as it di...

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Tennessee's Fulmer Has #1 Recruiting Class

AP - Knoxville, TN -- There is great rejoicing throughout the barns and stables, and the coopers and blacksmiths shops of Tennessee today. The University of Tennessee has landed its best crop of football recruits in decades.

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Britney Spears Adds Third Breast

When she first burst on the pop music scene Britney Spears was a young, relatively talented, relatively flat-chested girl. Within a year or so as her career took off, so did the size of her chest. Or perhaps more accurately, as her breasts...

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Whaling Makes Whale Of A Come Back

Saying that statistics show that whales are plentiful in today's oceans, President George W. Bush plans to steer legislation through Congress authorizing American ships to hunt whales once again.

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Southern Baptists To Withdraw From The Modern Secular World

At their annual convention America's Southern Baptist Association - the largest group within the Baptist denomination - have voted to withdraw from everything which is not Southern Baptist.

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Green Pants Means Third Floor

(AP) George Bush issued a Presidential proclamation today stating that all women wearing green pants must work on the third floor of the building in which they work. If the building consists of an old part and a new part they must work in the old pa...

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Huge Tidal Wave Hits Johnstown, PA

Funny story: Huge Tidal Wave Hits Johnstown, PA

Residents of Johnstown, Pennsylvania were shocked to wake up this morning and discover that a huge tidal wave of water had inundated the town. Johnstown, the scene of at least seventy five disastrous floods over the past 100 years lies several hundr...

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Researchers Shocked: Fat People Eat More

Funny story: Researchers Shocked: Fat People Eat More

Scientists were shocked to discover that fat persons often eat more than thinner persons. In a study funded by the National Coalition of Large Persons and released on Friday, researchers announced that eighty seven percent of those studied who were...

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New Home For Government

In light of possible threats, and keeping in mind the Capital Hill clearing chaos caused when Kentucky Governor Ernie Fletcher flew to the funeral for President Reagan in a plane the Air Force were briefly unable to identify, Congress has authorized...

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Shoe Store Is Dog's Delight

Luthersville, GA - When Norris Bertram told neighbors he planned to open a shoe store next to his ‘appliance store' no one was too surprised. Bertram had long ago earned a reputation as an entrepreneurial eccentric in this middle Georgia town. For m...

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Terrorism Added To Olympic Games

In a last minute effort to head off any potential problems relating to terrorism at the Summer 2004 Athens Olympic Games, Jacques Rogge, President of the IOC, announced today that Terrorism would be introduced this year as a competitive sport in the...

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Goat Glands Prove Effective

Funny story: Goat Glands Prove Effective

Scientists in Basil, Switzerland announced today that goat glands used as an aphrodisiac are effective when used properly. According to the scientists previous studies were flawed because researchers injected goat gland matter into men witho...

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Gonad Grease - New Lubricant To Replace Oil

Funny story: Gonad Grease - New Lubricant To Replace Oil

Scientists in Finland have discovered that grease from human male gonads can be used to replace fossil fuel based oil as a lubricant.

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NASA Goes Low Tech To Save Money

Funny story: NASA Goes Low Tech To Save Money

NASA, ever mindful of the ebb and flow of national politics, and well aware that the national mood does not favor huge expenses in space for what seems at the time negligible gains, is turning to an old reliable, low-tech alternative - eyesight.

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Man Arrested For Loving Moose

Cross dressing Vermont cowboy Wayne Focus was arrested Thursday night in the woods outside of Hennby, Vermont and charged with unlawful knowledge of a protected animal, specifically, a moose. Wearing a skirt, blouse and stilts, Focus was noticed by...

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Feith Opens Pork Barbeque Stand in Baghdad

The man American Theater Commander General Tommy Franks called the "F---ing stupidest guy on the face of the Earth," Douglas Feith, the former Under Secretary of Defense for Policy, has resigned his position at the Pentagon to open pork barbeque sta...

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Breaking news…

Clown Union Assures Trump He'll Always Have A Home With Them

"He's made us laugh so much and he's orange. We know he can't last too much longer, so just sayin'."
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