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Funny story: Virgin Mary Statue Smokes Marijuana

Virgin Mary Statue Smokes Marijuana

Philadelphia, PA-- A six-foot tall statue of the Virgin Mary inside a local church has been doing something strange. Parishers at the church of Our Lady Of Hysterical Weeping say the statue has begun smoking marijuana. The statue begins exhaling sm...
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Funny story: Post Office Begins Registering Sexual Orientation

Post Office Begins Registering Sexual Orientation

Washington, DC-- The post office has begun a new program to find out information about Americans' sexual orientation. The federal government wants to know how many gay people there are in the country so it can better service sexual minorities. Lett...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Caught Panhandling

Hillary Clinton Caught Panhandling

Philadelphia, PA-- Former first lady and secretary of state Hillary Clinton was spotted panhandling today outside a Starbux on Broad Street. Ms. Clinton was disguised in a dirty pink pantsuit and floppy hat, but her prominent cankles gave her away.
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Funny story: Former Presidents Become Transexuals

Former Presidents Become Transexuals

Washington, DC-- All of the former presidents of the United States have changed their sex from male to female. Not one of the four men had any reason to switch genders. They did it simply because they wanted to. In a world gone completely insane,...
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Funny story: Rogue Refrigerator Murders Local Woman

Rogue Refrigerator Murders Local Woman

Philadelphia, PA-- An 'out of control' refrigerator has crushed the life out of a local resident. Police sources say Miss Vicky Smegma, a spinster, was chased for two blocks by the crazed appliance before it finally caught up to her and killed her.
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Funny story: Michelle Obama To Run For Office

Michelle Obama To Run For Office

Washington, DC-- Michelle Obama has announced that she intends to run for political office this coming November. The first lady is borrowing a page from Hillary Clinton's playbook and will be entering the political arena. Polls already show Mrs. Ob...
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Funny story: Husband Dies After Wife Tells Him To Do Laundry

Husband Dies After Wife Tells Him To Do Laundry

Philadelphia, PA-- A local man is dead today after attempting to do his own laundry for the first time. Police sources say Mr. Eddie Spaghetti was found battered to death in the laundry room of the townhouse he shared with his wife. Mrs. Spaghetti...
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Funny story: First Obamacare Patient Dies

First Obamacare Patient Dies

Philadelphia, PA-- The nation's first death due to Obamacare has occurred in the City of Brotherly Love. Medical sources say Miss Vicky Smegma died last night from an ingrown toenail after a surreal and horrific experience with her new medical insu...
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Funny story: Local Woman Dies From Marijuana Overdose

Local Woman Dies From Marijuana Overdose

Philadelphia, PA-- An elderly spinster has accidentally killed herself with an overdose of marijuana. Police sources say Miss Vicky Smegma died after smoking over 40,000 joints in one day. If confirmed, the death will be the first time in human his...
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Funny story: Comet ISON 'Probably Gay' Says NASA

Comet ISON 'Probably Gay' Says NASA

Houston, TX-- NASA astronomers believe they have discovered the first gay comet in Outer Space. If true, it will be only the second gay heavenly body ever discovered. The planet Saturn came out of the closet earlier this year. Comet ISON is expe...
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Funny story: Local Man Dies From Embarrassment

Local Man Dies From Embarrassment

Philadelphia, PA-- A middle-aged man from Philadelphia literally dropped dead from embarrassment yesterday while he was out food-shopping. Medical scientists believe it is the first documented case of death from the common emotion. It also proves t...
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Funny story: Man Finds Lettuce From 1987 In His Refrigerator

Man Finds Lettuce From 1987 In His Refrigerator

Philadelphia, PA-- A local man is in the hospital tonight after eating something very old from the back of his refrigerator. Eddie Spaghetti apparently ate some lettuce that was purchased all the way back in 1987. The awful meal landed him in the IC...
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Funny story: Munchkin City Declares Bankrutpcy

Munchkin City Declares Bankrutpcy

Munchkin City, Oz-- The mayor of the Munchkin City says the place is bankrupt and will not be able to pay its bills. It becomes the largest fictional city to declare bankruptcy since Metropolis. A last-ditch bailout by the Wizard of Oz was rejected...
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Funny story: Clown Calls 911, Claims Moon Stole His Weed

Clown Calls 911, Claims Moon Stole His Weed

Philadelphia, PA-- An unemployed clown has been arrested and charged with marijuana possession. Police sources say Mr. Poco LaLoco may just be the stupidest person who ever lived. The trouble began at midnight after Mr. LaLoco called his local...
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Funny story: Royal Baby Born Singing 'God Save The Queen'; Quotes Shakespeare

Royal Baby Born Singing 'God Save The Queen'; Quotes Shakespeare

London, England-- The unnamed royal baby is off to a strange start in life. Sources at Broomstick Hospital claim the infant sang 'God Save The Queen' over and over again while being born. The baby boy sang exactly like Andrea Bocelli, but with a ba...
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Funny story: Spinsters Riot After Justin Dustbin Concert Cancelled

Spinsters Riot After Justin Dustbin Concert Cancelled

Philadelphia, PA-- A flock of spinsters went on a rampage last night in Philadelphia after a Justin Dustbin concert went awry. The spinsters were upset because Justin Dustbin thought the audience was 'too ugly' and he refused to perform. Police sou...
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Funny story: Humpty Dumpty Finally Put Back Together Again With Marijuana Resin

Humpty Dumpty Finally Put Back Together Again With Marijuana Resin

New York, NY-- One of the most well-known eggs in history is finally back in one piece. Scientists have reconstructed the legendary Humpty Dumpty by using 21st Century technology--and marijuana. The famed egg is now back on his wall, listening to m...
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Funny story: Leonard Nimoy To Become The Next Dr. Who

Leonard Nimoy To Become The Next Dr. Who

Hollywood, CA-- Veteran actor Leonard Nimoy is to become the new Dr. Who after Matt Smith gives up the role later this year. Mr. Nimoy will also reprise his role as Mr. Spock from 'Star Trek' at the same time. The new Dr. Who will combine the 'Star...
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