In an effort to show how green they can be, Vanson has introduced a new wireless battery re-charger that runs on batteries rather than through a wired connection.
"It's all about saving the environment," said Vanson spokesman Timothy Childress. "F...
After 25 years on the newsstands, SPIN Magazine has folded due to its overwhelming awesomeness in all things cool.
Since its inception in 1985, SPIN Magazine was immediately recognized for its overt coolness by covering unknown artists at the tim...
The Baltimore Ravens lost a detrimental game Sunday against the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the loss was primarily due to mental errors and costly 4th quarter penalties. It went without saying that head coach John Harbaugh's promise to take the team out...
Members of the Food and Drug Administration, along with members of the scientific community, have concluded that the main ingredient in Ramen Noodles is not to be found anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.
"Not only is it not anywhere o...
Philadelphia, PA - Crack-heads surrounding North Philadelphia's Diamond Street were terribly dismayed yesterday after discovering that their usual ice cream truck full of crack was actually selling ice cream.
"It be bullshit," said Derrick Thomas,...
ICELAND- The members of the Center for Reasonable and Appreciated Politics traveled to Iceland last week to protest the active volcano which began erupting on April 15.
"Of all the weeks for Earth to pull this shit," said Steven Hills, president o...
In an effort to capitalize on the economic downturn, Greyhound Lines Incorporated has revamped its efforts to reach more customers. Included in the plans are cheaper ticket prices, new streamlined buses, as well as a new destination: Funkytown, U.S.A...
The pharmaceutical giant, Merck & Co., has just released a fun new shape of Vicodin in the form of your favorite "Flintstones" characters.
"It's an exciting day," said Merck spokesman, Jonathan Sanders, "We are the second largest pharmaceutica...
For the 4th time since the compact disc's inception into mainstream culture, the entire Beatles catalogue has been re-mastered; this time into a sleeker black box.
"Finally," said Herb Thurman, a 56 year old Beatles fan, "Finally, the corporate dr...
Brittany Murphy has faded back into pop culture by fatally overdosing on prescription pneumonia.
The 32 year old bubbly actress, brought to fame by appearing in such films as The Prophecy II and an episode of Blossom, collapsed in the shower of h...
New York, NY - NBC executives made an honest move yesterday by naming their Sunday night primetime show "Celebrity Apprentice," to simply "Celebrity" Apprentice.
"We can't lie to the public anymore," said NBC executive John Starling about the show...
Philadelphia, PA - Mayor Michael Nutter has accomplished something other Philadelphia Mayors have been unable to do for fifteen years: acquire the biggest Crack Star from Los Angeles and bring him over to stumble the streets of Philadelphia.
"I've...
Playcollege Toys, the toddler friendly toys, has released a new build-and-play train set for children that is impervious to child-like destruction. Unfortunately, it is completely vulnerable to an angry drunk father tripping over it and kicking it to...
MEMPHIS-- NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr., son of a dead NASCAR driver of a similar name, ended up circling the block of his home 500 times after he was asked by his wife to pick up a loaf of bread.
"All I said to him was, 'Dale, could you...
Philadelphia, PA- Andrew Dovidio, 27, mistook a knock on the door yesterday morning for a bill collector, when in fact it was actually Opportunity.
"Dude, I woke up to this harsh knocking," reported the perpetually balding Andrew, "and my fir...
The E! Channel will be launching it's 100th countdown show by listing their 100 greatest countdown shows.
"It's like, awesome," said Veronica Pladsmith, Director of Programming at E! "We are known for our celebrity countdown shows, and we're...
Flint, Michigan---Barry Gehman was stripped of his manliness last Saturday after attempting to hold a conversation with other men in his neighborhood cul-de-sac.
"Me and the guys were just hanging out in my driveway, working on my pick-up tr...
Bryce Young, 46, of Salt Lake City, Utah, brought home his eighth wife on Sunday, much to the chagrin of his other 7 wives.
"It didn't look good right from the start," said Bryce, who has acummulated 8 wives in a span of only 6 years, and hav...