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'Tea Party' Targets UK

Funny story: 'Tea Party' Targets UK

After some success in the mid-term US elections, the 'Tea Party' is establishing an English branch to counter the threat of "Commie bastards" in the public sector, trade unions and the BBC. Reflecting the different cultural ideals of the British I...

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Navy Shame Over Kids' Coup

Funny story: Navy Shame Over Kids' Coup

The Ministry of Defence fashed fresh embarrassment today as it was revealed that HMS Ark Royal, the Royal Navy's most iconic vessel, was seized temporarily by a group of schoolchildren while moored off Gibraltar. Captain of the Ark Royal, Corneliu...

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New Blow For Baroness

Funny story: New Blow For Baroness

Baroness Scotland, still fighting for her reputation after the 'illegal cleaner affair', has received a new blow to her prestige with allegations that she has been harbouring a gang of Somali pirates. The desperate immigrants were discovered hidin...

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Elton's Ultimate Shopping Spree

Funny story: Elton's Ultimate Shopping Spree

Popular entertainer Reg Dwight - better known as Sir Elton John - will continue his mission to adopt, despite his harsh treatment by the Ukrainian authorities, who branded him "too old" and "too queer" to purchase 14-month old orphan Lev. "Elton i...

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UEFA U-Turn on Eduardo

Funny story: UEFA U-Turn on Eduardo

Arsenal supporters are delighted that UEFA has rescinded its 2-match ban on their Croatian international Eduardo, who was accused of diving in the Champions League tie with Celtic. UEFA now suggests that the Metropolitan police should consider a...

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Beckham "Fisting" Fracas

Funny story: Beckham "Fisting" Fracas

David Beckham, LA Galaxy's part-time midfielder, was involved in ugly scenes at the Old Fridge Dumping Center during an exhibition match with former club AC Milan. As the players headed for the dressing room, Beckham, 34, who had earlier unveiled...

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Flintoff: Cricket Hurting My Drinking

Funny story: Flintoff: Cricket Hurting My Drinking

Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff, 31, has announced his retirement from Test cricket in order to spend more time with his ale. After an injury-plagued career, the talismanic all-rounder will now confine himself to games lasting less than two hours. "I...

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A Million Brits Face Extradition

Funny story: A Million Brits Face Extradition

As a campaign to prevent the extradition of "computer geek" Gary McKinnon to the USA gathers pace, it emerges that another 1.2 million British citizens are under investigation by the American authorities. McKinnon, who suffers from Asparagus Syndr...

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Speaker Smacks Tory

Funny story: Speaker Smacks Tory

House of Commons Speaker Michael Martin, under mounting pressure to quit his post, lived up to his "Gorbals Mick" nickname by headbutting a Tory backbencher during a furious debate on the expenses scandal. Rupert Farquahar, MP for Upper Rimming in...

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Pig To Sue Press

Funny story: Pig To Sue Press

In a test case that has serious implications for the fourth estate, a pig is to sue both local and national newspapers for defamation after unflattering comparisons to Members of Parliament were made in print. News International, Associated Newspa...

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Platini's Dirty Plan

Funny story: Platini's Dirty Plan

UEFA President Michelle Platini has denied anti-English bias after Chelsea had five penalty appeals rejected during a stormy 1-1 draw at Stamford Bridge. Shrugging enigmatically, Mms. Platini said: "Je ne regrette rien. Barcelona play beautiful fo...

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Tweed Needs Protection

Funny story: Tweed Needs Protection

Reports that convict Jack Tweed has suffered appalling abuse at the hands of 'Boy' George O'Dowd have been confirmed by sources at St. Edmund's Hill jail in Suffolk. "It has been a living nightmare for Jack," said a fellow prisoner. "It started on...

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Draper's Libel Loss

Funny story: Draper's Libel Loss

As recriminations continue over Number 10's e-mail smear campaign, with Tory MP Nadine Dorries launching a claim for defamation against Damian 'Spawn of the Devil' McBride, it emerges that his colleague Derek Draper has lost a libel action against ri...

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G20 Secret Summit Success!

Funny story: G20 Secret Summit Success!

World leaders defied rioters in London by secretly staging the G20 Summit at a little-known Bed-and-Breakfast establishment in Eastbourne. As masked thugs grappled with police in Threadneedle Street, the politicians were ensconced at The Esplanade...

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MPs Expenses Ecstasy

As the furore over MPs' abuse of expenses mounts, I can reveal further troubling allegations of impropriety at the Palace of Westminster. A Labour Member, who cannot be named for legal reasons but I am calling 'Mr. C.', is exposed as claiming the...

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Ashley In Another Bird Bust-up

Funny story: Ashley In Another Bird Bust-up

Troubled Chelsea and England defender Ashley Cole has been arrested again after violence flared at a pet shop in Esher on Monday morning. Police were called to Val's Pet Emporium near the High Street after Cole took offence to comments made by an...

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Terror At The Dome

Funny story: Terror At The Dome

The Dome in London's Docklands was evacuated and sealed off by Scotland Yard's anti-terror squad yesterday following reports of plastic explosives scattered throughout the venue. The all-clear was given four hours later when detailed forensic exam...

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Name Calling Trump

One thing about Trump, no one will ever call him simpatico!
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