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Bowing To FCC Pressure, Howard Stern Switches To "Foreign Affairs" Format

Funny story: Bowing To FCC Pressure, Howard Stern Switches To "Foreign Affairs" Format

(New York, New York) Following years of legal wrangling with the FCC, legendary New York radio personality Howard Stern has now "thrown in the towel" and converted his morning show into a "forum for discussion of pressing world iss...

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Study: 4% Of Cell Phone Users Actually Speaking To Someone At Other End

Funny story: Study: 4% Of Cell Phone Users Actually Speaking To Someone At Other End

(New York) Results of a long-awaited study on cellular phone usage have just been released, showing that as many as four percent of people who speak on cell phones in public may actually be engaged in genuine conversations with other human beings.

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American Ignorance About Australia Not As Appalling As Once Thought

Funny story: American Ignorance About Australia Not As Appalling As Once Thought

(Canberra, Australia) The Australian government has just released a three-year study of American attitudes toward the Island Continent which demonstrates definitively that Americans actually know much more about Dorothea McKellar's "sunbur...

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"CALL 1-800-TORTURE": Iraqi TV Now Flooded with Ads From Lawyers

Funny story: "CALL 1-800-TORTURE": Iraqi TV Now Flooded with Ads From Lawyers

(Baghdad, Iraq) In the wake of the Iraq prisoner-abuse scandal, Iraqi television stations are now being overwhelmed with demands for advertising time by lawyers seeking to represent prisoners tortured and/or humiliated by their captors.

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Kerry, Seeking Jewish Votes, Roots, Changes Family Name Back to "Kohn"; Polls Go Haywire

(Boston, Massachusetts) Democratic presidential candidate John F. Kerry has changed his name to "John F. Kohn", saying that he wishes to both acknowledge his Jewish roots, and also convince wavering Jewish voters that "their rightful...

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Arkansas Man Claims Sightings Of "Shemp", Mobutu & "'Hey, Vern' Guy"

Funny story: Arkansas Man Claims Sightings Of "Shemp", Mobutu & "'Hey, Vern' Guy"

(Eureka Springs, Arkansas) Local resident Jeb Foster, 33, has long vexed municipal authorities in this picturesque southern town. While police here are fully prepared to deal with the inevitable reports of sightings of deceased legends such as Elv...

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Helen Hunt "Disappointed" No Moonbats Have Tried To Shoot Someone To Impress Her

Funny story: Helen Hunt "Disappointed" No Moonbats Have Tried To Shoot Someone To Impress Her

(New York, New York) Helen Hunt is disappointed.

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Susan Sarandon's Breasts, JeLo's Butt Protest Disease, Famine, "Bad Stuff"

Funny story: Susan Sarandon's Breasts, JeLo's Butt Protest Disease, Famine, "Bad Stuff"

(New York, New York) The breasts of actress Susan Sarandon and the buttocks of singer-actress Jennifer Lopez today took out a joint advertisement in the New York Times protesting "Disease, Famine, War, Hate and Other Bad Stuff."...

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NY Governor Admits "Cobleskill" and "Oneonta" Are Actually The Same Place

(Albany, NY) New York State governor George Pataki has admitted that two small upstate towns, Cobleskill and Oneonta, are in reality "the same place". The actual name of the town is Cobleonta.

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Visitors, Locals Perplexed By Tall, Monolithic "Mystery Building" In Manhattan

Funny story: Visitors, Locals Perplexed By Tall, Monolithic "Mystery Building" In Manhattan

(New York, New York) A vast edifice on Manhattan's East Side, occupying an enormous, park-like lot that covers several blocks of what would otherwise be prime Manhattan riverfront real estate, has long mystified visitors and locals alike.

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British Musician, Blinded 22 Years Ago, Has Vision Restored By "SCIENCE!!"

(London) Musician Thomas Dolby, 45, who had been blinded 22 years ago in an unfortunate incident, had his sight restored today by Surgeons at London's Stanley Baldwin Ophthalmological Institute.

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Eaton Road Kill, 175-1 Non-Thoroughbred, Wins Kentucky Derby

(Louisville, Kentucky) For the first time in the 129-year history of America's most famous horse race, the Kentucky Derby has been won by a horse who is neither a thoroughbred, nor, for that matter, three years old.

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Kerry Meets With Edwards About "Unspecified Legal Matter"; Denies Botox Rumors

(Boston) Democratic presidential candidate John F. Kerry met today with North Carolina Senator John Edwards for several hours, fueling speculation that he was considering the boyish-looking legislator for a cabinet position. When questioned after...

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CNN, ABC To Co-Sponsor "All-Coffin" Channel

(New York) CNN and ABC have announced a new joint venture in the cable TV arena. Called the "All-Coffin" Channel, the new network will provide nearly uninterrupted 24-hour footage of flag-draped coffins.

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Environmental Groups Now Warn Of "Global Temperature Stasis"

(New York, NY) Following the brouhaha in the 70's over the dire effects of global cooling, and a more recent spate of Doomsday Scenario prognostications relating to the supposed phenomenon of global warming, environmental pressure groups are no...

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Bo Donaldson, Heywoods, First Class, Paper Lace: Bush "Dumb"

(Blakeslee, PA) Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods, a band briefly famous for its 1974 hit, "Billy, Don't Be A Hero", has gone on record as describing president George W. Bush as "dumb".

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Balkans Erupt After Barflies Rehash Old Argument About Whether Alexander The Great Was Greek

War has once again consumed the Balkans, following an argument in a bar in Skopje as to whether legendary conqueror Alexander The Great was Greek or Macedonian.

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Scientists Now Believe Several U.S. Presidents May Have Been White

(Bethesda) A group of government scientists, employing new technologies in the field of DNA analysis, have reached the surprising conclusion that at least four and perhaps as many as eight past U.S. Presidents may in fact have been "white guys.

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Name Calling Trump

One thing about Trump, no one will ever call him simpatico!
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