Showing stories written by General Payne

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GM Eggs will prevent a smashing good time

Funny story: GM Eggs will prevent a smashing good time

Leading Supermarket retailer Morrisainscoda are selling Genetically Modified eggs produced by chickens that have been invested with a tortoise shell producing gene in a direct challenge to environmentalists who fear that so called Frankenstein food w...

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Ulrika Jonsson. "Stop taking the piss!"

Funny story: Ulrika Jonsson. "Stop taking the piss!"

Ulrika Jonsson has launched an emotional plea for people to stop mocking her after she revealed deeply personal and embarrassing revelation that she is suffering from LAI (Light Adult Incontinence) following the birth of her four children. This means...

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Can't tell your Plums from your Nuts Madam?

Funny story: Can't tell your Plums from your Nuts Madam?

The days of picking up Oranges, Banana's, apples and other soft fruit from your bowl only to discover that they are rotten and mouldy underneath will soon be gone. Scientists at the Laboratory of Food Technology and Engineering in Ghent, Brussels...

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Woman charged with racism in letter box row

Funny story: Woman charged with racism in letter box row

A 68 year old Kent woman was arrested and charged with racism yesterday when the owner of a second hand junk shop called Police after she refused to believe that the post office letter box outside his shop was not for sale. Mr M.T. Urpuckets, the...

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Flatulent father drowns himself in poop!

A Father of three from Kingswood in Kent has drowned himself whilst using a bizarre home made mask he developed specifically for smelling his own farts. Clifford Shellbreaker who lived in a bungalow off Gravelly Bottom Road had a strange fascinati...

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Astonishing wireless electricity unveiled

Scientists have developed the technology to connect electrical appliances to a mains supply without using cables and wires and an incredible spin off will be a 65% reduction in electricity usage that could help save the earth from global warming.

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You Can't Eat That! - Employers to Police your lunchbox

In a joint operation, the first ever of its kind, DEFRA, and the NHS along with the Food Standards Agency and the Health and Safety Executive are about to unveil their latest barmy plans. A a time when the credit crunch is crippling UK businesses,...

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Breaking news…

National Park Service Rewrites Statue of Liberty Plaque

"Give me your strong, your rich, your workers yearning to breathe capitalism. Send no homeless, impoverished, or those seeking refuge from MS-13 to me. I want no trash to tarnish our golden door."
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