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Americans Must Now Fly Nude

Funny story: Americans Must Now Fly Nude

The TSA stunned the nation today by announcing that scanners and pat downs do not do enough to detect terrorist devices on flight passengers. Passengers must now completely disrobe in order to board a flight. "We tried to come up with a better so...

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Biden to 'Play Hell'

Funny story: Biden to 'Play Hell'

Perhaps Vice President Joe Biden meant to say, "If we lose, we will PAY Hell," however, it is unclear what he meant when he said on October 9th, "If we lose, we will PLAY Hell." This plays back to a reported recent statement by First Lady Michelle...

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Pastor Terry Jones to Star in Movie

Funny story: Pastor Terry Jones to Star in Movie

The illustrious clergyman, Pastor Terry Jones, who recently threatened to burn Qurans to 'send a message' to Islam, is being sought to play "Poopdeck Pappy," Popeye's crusty father, in a remake of 1980's "Popeye" movie. "HE'S PERFECT," shouted pro...

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Obama's Birth Certificate Found!

Funny story: Obama's Birth Certificate Found!

President Barack Obama's birth certificate was claimed to have been found last week while JZ Knight was channeling Johnny Carson at her home in Yelm, Washington. "You will find Barack Obama's birth certificate in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagna...

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Joe Biden Says Something Smart

Funny story: Joe Biden Says Something Smart

Vice President Joe Biden stunned the world today by actually saying something appropriate and smart. What he said was, "It sure is a nice summer day." The accuracy and pleasant nature of this statement caused bystanders to question whether this w...

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Al Gore Reveals Pedigree

Funny story: Al Gore Reveals Pedigree

Former Vice President, Al Gore, in a startling announcement revealed today that he has a pedigree. "It's true," Gore said. "I'm actually a Poodle." When pressed for which type of Poodle he actually is, Gore stated, "I am a Standard Poodle."...

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Obama Denies Relationship

Funny story: Obama Denies Relationship

Subpoenaed in the trial of Rod Blagojevich, President Barack Obama testified Monday with these words, "Here me and here me well. I did not have an unnatural relationship with that man's hairpiece." Members of the court were perplexed over Obama's...

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OJ and Jessica In Next Dancing With the Stars

Funny story: OJ and Jessica In Next Dancing With the Stars

Heisman Trophy winner, actor and convicted felon, O.J. Simpson, will be released from prison intermittently to appear on the next ABC 'Dancing With The Stars' go-round with partner, Jessica Simpson. "It was a genius pairing," 'Dancing With The Sta...

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Geithner forgets to tip waitress

Funny story: Geithner forgets to tip waitress

Timothy R. Geithner, Obama's beleagured pick for Secretary of the Treasury, forgot to tip a waitress at a Hooters Restaurant on Thursday evening. "I was unclear as to whether I was suppposed to tip or not," Geithner explained. "I didn't know you...

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Bill Gates Floats Away

Funny story: Bill Gates Floats Away

Due to recent flooding in the Seattle, Washington area, Bill Gates recently stepped onto the porch of his Mercer Island home on Lake Union and floated away. "I guess he's so used to floating in money that he didn't notice that he was floating away...

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Blagojevich's Hairpiece Seen from Outer Space

Funny story: Blagojevich's Hairpiece Seen from Outer Space

Embattled Governor Rod Blagojevich's hairpiece was recently spotted from the Hubble Space Telescope. Astonomer, Wyatt Eibaal, honed in on the hairpiece as it was floating down a Chicago street atop Blagojevich's pate. "It wasn't hard to find,"...

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Obama Wiggles Ears

Funny story: Obama Wiggles Ears

President-elect Barack Obama delighted a crowd at a Washington D.C. Starbucks by dropping in and showing how he can wiggle his ears. "I can wiggle 'em... I'm tellin' ya!" he said to an enthused audience and proceeded to do just that to the oohs an...

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People Eating Grass

Funny story: People Eating Grass

In order to supplement their diets during these lean times, many U.S. citizens are resorting to eating grass. "Grass is awesome," Barry Bovine of Seattle, Washington recently remarked. "You just have to make sure you don't put a lot of chemicals...

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Al Franken Concedes

Funny story: Al Franken Concedes

Al Franken, amid a flurry of concerns by the Democratic Party, conceded his contested senate seat today. "It's not that I'm not good enough and smart enough, doggone it," he remarked. "It's just that, well, what I really want to do is become a WW...

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Aides say Harry Reid has B.O.

Funny story: Aides say Harry Reid has B.O.

After disparaging remarks regarding being able to smell D.C. tourists coming to visit the U.S. Capitol in the summertime, senatorial aides close to Senate Majority Leader, Harry Reid, report that he has B.O. Wanting to remain anonymous, one aide r...

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Blagojevich's Toupe Causes Accident

Funny story: Blagojevich's Toupe Causes Accident

While walking from his car to his office Monday, embattled governor, Rod Blagojevich's toupe worked loose and blew down the street, completely covering a car and blocking a driver's view of the road. "It was like a Wooly Mammoth suddenly slammed o...

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Trees Refuse to Drop Leaves

Funny story: Trees Refuse to Drop Leaves

In a stunning abberation of nature, leaf-bearing trees worldwide have stopped shedding their leaves in the winter. "Shove it up your xylem and phloem," one markedly aggravated tree, Mr. Maple Hardwood, exclaimed. "We're deciduous trees. We simpl...

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Hillary Announces Aid

Funny story: Hillary Announces Aid

Washington - Hillary Rodham Clinton presented the selection of one of her aids today. Shawn O'Pec is the choice as one of her primary aids in her new role as Secretary of State in the upcoming Obama presidency. "What's good for the gander is good...

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Breaking news…

The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
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