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Diebold Electronic Voting Machine self diagnostics verify 122% voter turnout across 79 states

Funny story: Diebold Electronic Voting Machine self diagnostics verify 122% voter turnout across 79 states

While the original design specification for electronic voting machines stated they should register one vote, per person, per issue, there are early indications that this minimum requirement has been significantly outperformed.

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Republicans make last ditch effort to woo halfwits

Funny story: Republicans make last ditch effort to woo halfwits

Polls today show that while die hard Republicans will continue to blindly vote the party line, the important swing demographic, "idiots whose idea of investigating an issues is watching a TV commercial" are now tending to the left.

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Evangelicals regret being such dicks towards Clinton

Funny story: Evangelicals regret being such dicks towards Clinton

As the world looks on for signs of hypocrisy in the aftermath of the Ted Haggard scandal, many church leaders regret the dickish "holier-than-thou" attitude adopted towards Bill Clinton's lesser indiscretions.

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iTunes extended to allow Burrito Download.

Silicon Valley - It's been one year since Apple launched its iTunes music download service, and by all measures it has been a success. That's not enough though for ambitions CEO Steve Jobs who is now extending the service to include food and snacks...

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George W. Bush Heals the Sick and Raises the Dead.

Funny story: George W. Bush Heals the Sick and Raises the Dead.

In an unconventional move yesterday, President George Bush pushed aside the formalities and etiquette of public greeting and began blessing people and casting out evil spirits.

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McDonald's add Automobiles to the Menu. Results Disappointing.

Funny story: McDonald's add Automobiles to the Menu. Results Disappointing.

In an aggressive attempt to diversify into new markets, fast food giants McDonald's now allow customers to super-duper-size their order by adding a car or minivan.

Read full story View 'McDonald's add Automobiles to the Menu. Results Disappointing.'

Simon Cowell joins John Kerry as chief advisor.

Funny story: Simon Cowell joins John Kerry as chief advisor.

In a strange marriage of politics and showbiz, John Kerry invites American Idol genius Simon Cowell on board to help choose a running mate for the 2004 election.

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United Airlines Criticized for Marketing Practices.

Funny story: United Airlines Criticized for Marketing Practices.

United Airlines have been criticized today for their recent "Visit Grandkids for $150 or less" telephone marketing campaign.

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George W. Bush Relaxes Anti-Abortion Stance.

Funny story: George W. Bush Relaxes Anti-Abortion Stance.

In a surprise move Bush today unveiled a pro-abortion policy paper, which if he is re-elected, could become law.

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All Marriage now banned in attempt to close loophole.

Funny story: All Marriage now banned in attempt to close loophole.

In the biggest offensive yet against gay marriage, sweeping laws come into effect after the Bush administration realizes that current law allows the legal union of a lesbian to a gay man.

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Halliburton Industries to Receive $3billion / year to Leave Wetlands Untouched.

Funny story: Halliburton Industries to Receive $3billion / year to Leave Wetlands Untouched.

Confusion followed President Bush's Earth Day announcement of the Wetlands Protection Program today when it was discovered that the land in question was, in fact, purchased by Halliburton Industries last week for $49.95.

Read full story View 'Halliburton Industries to Receive $3billion / year to Leave Wetlands Untouched.'

Frustrations mount as Baby Shits in Clean Diaper.

Funny story: Frustrations mount as Baby Shits in Clean Diaper.

New parent Bob Queen today came close to boiling point as baby daughter, April, squeezed out a watery stool no more than 30 seconds after a change.

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Hollywood Film Industry confesses disappointment as Queen Mary 2 arrives in NY without incident.

Funny story: Hollywood Film Industry confesses disappointment as Queen Mary 2 arrives in NY without incident.

The hopes of major Hollywood studios were dashed today as the Queen Mary II arrived safely in New York after a safe and uneventful maiden voyage.

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John Kerry Campaign Manager, Mary Beth Cahill, quits as annual earnings approach $200k.

Funny story: John Kerry Campaign Manager, Mary Beth Cahill, quits as annual earnings approach $200k.

In a shock announcement Mary Beth Cahill, who up to now has been the rock on which the Kerry campaign has been built, resigns and shifts her focus to the re-election of George W. Bush.

Read full story View 'John Kerry Campaign Manager, Mary Beth Cahill, quits as annual earnings approach $200k.'

Penis Extension industry files suit against owners of Colorado WinterPark Ski resort.

Funny story: Penis Extension industry files suit against owners of Colorado WinterPark Ski resort.

An unusual case filed today against the thriving Colorado ski resort today has come to the attention of both lawmakers and anti-spam lobbyists.

Read full story View 'Penis Extension industry files suit against owners of Colorado WinterPark Ski resort.'

George W. Bush makes concessions to keep U.K. troops in Iraq.

Funny story: George W. Bush makes concessions to keep U.K. troops in Iraq.

After lengthy negotiations between the two countries leaders, Bush has agreed to ask for U.N. sanctions against the state of Massachusetts and if necessary lead a peace keeping force in the invasion and occupation of Boston.

Read full story View 'George W. Bush makes concessions to keep U.K. troops in Iraq.'

John Kerry Catches Fly at Outdoor Press Conference

Funny story: John Kerry Catches Fly at Outdoor Press Conference

In an incredible display of hand-eye coordination, President-2-Be Kerry reached out without warning at an outdoor press conference and with true dexterity pulled a fly straight out of the air.

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Bush Slips 12 Points in the Polls. Analysts Blame American Idol Scheduling Blunder.

Funny story: Bush Slips 12 Points in the Polls. Analysts Blame American Idol Scheduling Blunder.

Polls one week after President Bush's April 13 Press Conference show a massive slip as he looses 12 points to Kerry.

Read full story View 'Bush Slips 12 Points in the Polls. Analysts Blame American Idol Scheduling Blunder.'

Breaking news…

Putin Has Stopped Taking Trump's Calls

Even soul-less, sociopathic dictators have their limits.
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