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Funny story: Wife Abducted By Aliens Says Husband

Wife Abducted By Aliens Says Husband

Police have rejected the claims of a local man that his wife has been kidnapped by aliens. Mr. Colin 'Sparky' Johnson, a gas fitter, had told police that he had seen his wife disappearing down the road outside his house in Huddersfield, Yorkshire...
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Funny story: Coward Invents Martial Art

Coward Invents Martial Art

The world's biggest coward, Arthur Feartie, has invented a new martial art. The new form of self defence, called No Kan Do, is claimed to be superior to older, established eastern methods such as karate, judo and kung fu and western methods such as...
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Funny story: Haggisburgers Are Coming

Haggisburgers Are Coming

Glaswegian fast-food magnate, Ronnie MacDonald (no relation), has predicted that his latest culinary invention, the haggisburger, will revolutionise take-away eating throughout the world. "The haggisburger is coming," he declared proudly, "and wil...
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Funny story: PM To Become Nudist

PM To Become Nudist

British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, has announced his New Year's resolution to become a nudist. "The naturist lifestyle has always appealed to me personally," he explained, adding, "But it is also a green issue as, by wearing less clothes, I wil...
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Funny story: Flasher Applies For Grant

Flasher Applies For Grant

Scots exhibitionist, Ron Kiltlifter, is trying to have his predilection defined as an artform so that he can be eligible for a grant from the Scottish Arts Council. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," said the 23 stone Glaswegian, "I enjoy exp...
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Funny story: Porn Star Sues Producers

Porn Star Sues Producers

Porn star Lulu Slutbutt plans to sue producers of the 847 films she has made this year, claiming that they were negligent in their duty of care toward her. "They have ruined my asshole," she said, "I now have absolutely no control over my sphincte...
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Funny story: Catholics Permit Masturbation

Catholics Permit Masturbation

The Catholic Church has finally faced up to the problem of over-population by permitting its adherents to masturbate. They will, in the words of the Bible be allowed to 'spill their seed upon the ground', though they admit this could be messy and th...
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Funny story: Obama Suggests Slavery

Obama Suggests Slavery

President-Elect Barack Obama is suggesting a return to slavery as a way out of the current economic downturn with millions threatened with unemployment. "History only give us a negative impression of the institution of slavery," he said at a recen...
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Funny story: Sex Change Weekends Are Here

Sex Change Weekends Are Here

Getting in touch with your feminine side could be a weekend thing with news that scientists at the Edinburgh Institute for the Sexually Confused have created a drug which allows temporary sex-changes. The drug works by suppressing the body's nat...
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Funny story: Hitler's Moustache Found

Hitler's Moustache Found

Hitler's moustache has been found in the city of Kiev. It is in the hands of Ukrainian Igor Abigun who inherited it from his grandfather who was serving with the Third Ukrainian Front of the Red Army when they swept into Berlin in 1945. "My grand...
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Breaking News...

"Goop" Introduces Coal Egg

"Once you muster enough pelvic muscle strength to compress this baby into a diamond, you will have a beautiful gemstone to present to the man of your dreams," declared spokesmodel Gwyneth Paltrow.
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