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Keane continues to protest

The republic of Ireland's record scorer Robbie Keane is continuing his protest about the standard of refereeing, demanding a replay for the clear handball which cost his team a goal. "Wigan's goal was as clear a handball as I have ever seen and ye...

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British man sentenced

A British man caught smuggling cocaine into Venezuela, who admitted smuggling but said he thought he was smuggling diamonds, will today be sentenced by a Venezuelan judge. The man will be given 15 years imprisonment for cocaine smuggling, 10 year...

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Israelis attack Manchester

Israeli forces last night began a bombardment of Manchester, killing at least 3000 Mancunians, including many hundreds of women and children. By 2am today, they had taken control of the City Of Manchester Stadium, saying they intended to install Avra...

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Government to bail out struggling drug dealers

Funny story: Government to bail out struggling drug dealers

Struggling drug dealers have been promised huge amounts of taxpayers money by the government in a deal designed to save their ailing businesses. A government spokesperson stated that the collapse of the industry is a result of previously wealthy b...

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Queen's speech shown early by ITV

ITV last night stole a march on their rivals by showing the Queen's Christmas speech early. The speech, which was recorded in a tent in Hyde Park to save on Royal fuel bills, is thought to have attracted at least four extra viewers, but will be r...

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Tokyo man not guilty of drug use

A local man has been found guilty of a drug induced shooting spree in Tokyo. Asoko Nakamoto was found guilty of shooting 17 people whilst under the influence of LSD, guilty of possession of the drug, but acquitted of taking it. Judge Yoshi Ka...

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Government terror plan leaked

Funny story: Government terror plan leaked

Prime minister Gordon Brown is facing calls for his resignation after yet another embarrassing leak showed just how desperate he is to cling to power. According to the documents, Brown was planning an operation codenamed "Operation Asian flu" in w...

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Drogba: "I am Rachel Hylton!"

In a sensational interview with the News Of The World, Chelsea striker Didier Drogba has made bizarre claims of leading a double life, and blamed the X-Factor for losing his place in the starting line up. Drogba claims that he was forced to feign...

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Benedict on Defensive after Jesus No-show

Pope Bendedict XVI has defended his client Jesus Christ after his failure to turn up for his scheduled comeback appearance on the X-Factor final. Reacting to comments that "Even Britney turned up for her gig" Xvi claimed that Jesus had merely got...

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Ginger Terror Suspect Shot by Police

Police have shot dead an innocent ginger passenger on a London tube, mistakenly believing him to be Ali Carne, a leading member of the Gingers For Justice campaign. Jock Charles Menzies, 18, a tall man with red hair, was making his way to work whe...

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X Factor Final: Shock Guest Revealed

Funny story: X Factor Final: Shock Guest Revealed

X Factor fans are stunned at the announcement that Jesus Christ is to make a guest appearance on Saturday's final show. Christ is understood to have sought assurances that he will not be overshadowed by Simon Cowell, and after lengthy negotiations...

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Breaking news…

Inspector General’s Report Is Out

Much like a school report card, the Inspector General’s report is out and James Comey received an F for failure. Who’ve guess? Because he gave the world Donald Trump, he should have received a Z.
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