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Funny story: Economic Downturn Hits Al Queda-Pension Funds At Risk-Virgins Cut

Economic Downturn Hits Al Queda-Pension Funds At Risk-Virgins Cut

In yet another sign of just how deep the global economic downturn has become, Al Queda announced today that it's Jihadi Retirement Fund may not be able to meet it's obligations in the near term. The JRF's chief financial officer acknowledged tha...
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Funny story: Somalian Tourist Industry Suffers After Wave Of Pirate Attacks

Somalian Tourist Industry Suffers After Wave Of Pirate Attacks

A string of pirate attacks off the east coast of Africa have left at least 17 dead, and the Somali tourist industry in tatters. "It has been a devastating blow to us." says Abdul El-Rashid, director of Somalia's Tourist Board. "Our beachfront ho...
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Funny story: Hamas Says Rocket Attacks Were "An Unfortunate Accident"

Hamas Says Rocket Attacks Were "An Unfortunate Accident"

A spokesman for Palestinian militant group Hamas issued a statement yesterday claiming the current military confrontation with Israel was the result of an "unfortunate misunderstanding", and said that the recent rocket attacks on Israel were just an...
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Funny story: NY Begins Bold Program To Expand Health Care Services To The Underinsured

NY Begins Bold Program To Expand Health Care Services To The Underinsured

NY State Governor David Paterson announced a new plan to expand health care coverage for thousands of under insured New Yorkers. The plan's centerpiece involves the registration and licensure of informal practitioners who currently operate outside th...
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Funny story: Nursing Home Budget Crisis Forces Creative Solutions

Nursing Home Budget Crisis Forces Creative Solutions

Sunnydale Rest Home in East Podunk, NY, has come up with a unique way to cut costs that has caught the attention of state lawmakers. "Our operating costs have skyrocketed at the same time reimbursements have declined." says Neil Barrington, admi...
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Funny story: Obama "Hits The Ground Running" On First Day In Office

Obama "Hits The Ground Running" On First Day In Office

President Barack Obama "hit the ground running" on his first day in office, but alert Secret Service agents caught up with him halfway across the White House lawn and brought him back. "He never even got close to the fence." said Secret Service...
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Funny story: Obama Sworn In A Second Time After Chief Justice "Flubs" Oath

Obama Sworn In A Second Time After Chief Justice "Flubs" Oath

President Barack Obama was sworn in for a second time yesterday after concerns that Chief Justice Robert's stumble over the oath of office might pave the way for Obama's historic inauguration to be challenged. "It is important that America, and...
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Funny story: Obama Dragged, Kicking And Screaming, To Inauguration

Obama Dragged, Kicking And Screaming, To Inauguration

A thin, weary and ashen Barack Obama stood at the podium yesterday and took the oath of office from Chief Justice Roberts. When asked if he was willing and able to perform the duties of the office, Obama replied "Yeah sure, whatever", then put his fa...
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Funny story: Bush Signs Law Allowing Foreign Nationals To Serve As President

Bush Signs Law Allowing Foreign Nationals To Serve As President

President George W. Bush signed bill no. 4852A into law this morning allowing foreign-born citizens to hold the office of the Presidency. The bill, hastily drafted and passed unanimously by both the House and Senate, was on the President's desk a...
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Funny story: Obama Actually Born In Kenya, Aides Admit

Obama Actually Born In Kenya, Aides Admit

In a statement released to the media late last night, the Office of the President-Elect Barack Obama claimed that he was actually born in Kenya. "It's true", said an Obama spokesman. "Barack actually WAS born in Kenya. We had thought it was Hawa...
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Funny story: Burris Shows Up For Senate Duty Despite Warnings

Burris Shows Up For Senate Duty Despite Warnings

Beleaguered Senator wanna-be Roland Burris showed up for duty today despite being warned that he would not be seated. Burris was appointed to the Junior Senator position vacated by President-elect Barack Obama by Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich, wh...
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Funny story: Nursing Homes Bracing For Influx Of Cosmetic Surgery Recipients

Nursing Homes Bracing For Influx Of Cosmetic Surgery Recipients

Cosmetic surgery has become increasingly popular over the past few decades, and as the number of people having procedures done has risen, so has the average age of those having such work done. But even the most extensive procedures can only hold the...
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Funny story: Obama Team Seeks Recount of November Vote

Obama Team Seeks Recount of November Vote

After a failed bid to delay the Jan. 20th inauguration, President-elect Barack Obama's transitional team has raised questions about the validity of the Nov. 4th election results, and has demanded a recount in several key states. "It appears ther...
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Funny story: Dr. Drew May Quit Celebrity Rehab

Dr. Drew May Quit Celebrity Rehab

Dr. Drew Pinsky, host of the popular VH1 reality show Celebrity Rehab, said he is thinking of quitting the television show. In an interview with People magazine Pinsky said that although the premise of the show was noble, the reality has made him rec...
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Funny story: Obama Team Seeks To Postpone Inauguration

Obama Team Seeks To Postpone Inauguration

The office of President-elect Barack Obama issued a statement yesterday stating that they would be willing to postpone the January 20th inauguration for an unspecified period of time due to the "unprecedented set of crises the nation faces". "We...
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Funny story: Economic Stimulus A Failure- Economy Remains Frigid

Economic Stimulus A Failure- Economy Remains Frigid

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson spoke at a press conference on Thursday, acknowledging that efforts to stimulate the nation's moribund economy have so far been "a failure", and that the economy remains cold and unresponsive. "I've been on top o...
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Funny story: Baghdad Marine's Toys For Tots Drive A Huge Success

Baghdad Marine's Toys For Tots Drive A Huge Success

With less than a week before Christmas, the United States Marine Corps has declared it's annual "Toys For Tots" drive in Baghdad to be a resounding success. Despite concerns about a stagnant economy and an ongoing war, the Marines have seen donations...
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Funny story: Pharmaceuticals Giant Demands Apology From FDA For Banned Drugs

Pharmaceuticals Giant Demands Apology From FDA For Banned Drugs

Pharmaceutical giant Smerck publicly demanded an apology from the Food and Drug Administration for it's actions in banning the drug Vileoxx. The drug manufacturer also wanted to take the opportunity to get a few other things off it's chest, things th...
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Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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