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Funny story: Windmills - Slowing Rotation of Globe.

Windmills - Slowing Rotation of Globe.

A crisis bigger than global climate warming is rumoured to be troubling the scientific community. The massive increase in the number of vast wind generators is now thought to be slowing down the rotation of our earth. "I don't need to tell you...
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Funny story: Nursing crisis! Biscuit overload blamed.

Nursing crisis! Biscuit overload blamed.

The nursing profession was today in crisis after revelations that biscuit consumption has surpassed "danger" and is now at "crisis" level In a report issued today, it has been revealed that the mean estimated hip size of nurses is now a worrying 6...
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Funny story: Tiger - Lucrative New Sponsorship Deals

Tiger - Lucrative New Sponsorship Deals

Fears that Tiger's recent naughtiness would dent his earnings proved unfounded when his details of latest sponsorship deals emerged this week. National Windshield Replacement Services are amongst the new deals, along with Band Aid makers Johnson a...
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Funny story: Twatter: New Social Networking sensation

Twatter: New Social Networking sensation

It's known as "Twatter" the latest internet sensation. Unashmedly based on the old hat "Twitter", the site boasts a membership of 20 billion already, and growing at half a million a day. As founders Daniel Althat and Sean Bag o'Chips explained, "W...
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Funny story: Jackson - Small white hatchback implicated!

Jackson - Small white hatchback implicated!

The MJ death mystery took a bizzare and mysterious turn today when it was revealed that a small white hatchback had been seen in the vicinity of Jacksons home in the days preceding his demise. Rumours are rife that the hatchback is eerily similar...
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Funny story: Shock as MJ confirms London gigs

Shock as MJ confirms London gigs

Michael Jackson aged 43 + VAT today confirmed that he would indeed be appearing in London for his planned 50 concerts. Challenged that he was in fact "dead" Jackson squeekily protested that on the contrary, he was merely resting in his cave with a...
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Funny story: Chrysler jumps into bed with FIAT

Chrysler jumps into bed with FIAT

In a bizzare move obviously fueled by party pills, desperation and red wine, an alliance has been announced between FIAT and Chrysler. Spokesman for Chrysler Larry Dork (jnr) said "What the hell, Chrysler is f**cked, Mercedes didn't want us, so wh...
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Funny story: "Ramrod" Ramseys Rocky Revenue Relationship

"Ramrod" Ramseys Rocky Revenue Relationship

Celebrity shagaholic and bit of a cook, Gordon Ramsey is in the news again today for trying to shag around with HM Inland Revenue. Modest and soft spoken "Ramrod" so dubbed for his alleged romantic attributes, is facing court action after his fath...
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Funny story: Shock EU Toilet Paper Directive

Shock EU Toilet Paper Directive

In a move designed to promote health and hygeine the EU have announced that from April 2009 all toilet paper will be printed with instructions urging users to fit toilet paper so that it rolls off the FRONT of the roll rather than the back. Spoke...
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Funny story: 1st. Quarter of 2009 extended by 2 weeks

1st. Quarter of 2009 extended by 2 weeks

Following the sucessful extension of 2009 by 1 second to bring clocks into line with the earth's rotation, G.20 the world's top 20 economic powers have decided to extend the 1st quarter of 2009 to April 14th. Economists realised that the 1 second...
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Funny story: Jesus is 2008 Toy Miracle Seller - Outsells Barbie!

Jesus is 2008 Toy Miracle Seller - Outsells Barbie!

This year's miracle seller has literally risen from the dead this season and broken all sales records. The Jesus doll, long considered somewhat naff and tacky, has been reincarnated for 2008 Christmas with a new look and a suite of miracle accesso...
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Funny story: Ciggies "Under the Counter" move.

Ciggies "Under the Counter" move.

A series of what are decribed as "mild" initiatives are tipped to reach the statute book early next year. With a view to making it more difficult to aquire cigarettes, the following are likely to enter the statute book. Cigarettes will only be...
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Funny story: Victoria Beckhams "Smileox" Lift

Victoria Beckhams "Smileox" Lift

Icequeen and legendary misery, Vicky Becks has undergone radical surgery since deciding a smile would flog more frocks. The radical procedure which has put Vikky in the Sac-harin insecurity wing of the Disney rehab. facility for 5 weeks has result...
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Funny story: Gordon's Recruitment Pyramid Scheme

Gordon's Recruitment Pyramid Scheme

In a new employment initiative announced yesterday the UK government announced that it is to set up a chain of 200 recruitment agencies. The recruiters will recruit more recruiters for more recruitment agencies until there is a recruitment agency...
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Funny story: "Get back on the Fags and Booze!" - Darling

"Get back on the Fags and Booze!" - Darling

In a complete about face, unusual in politics, the Chancellor, Alistair Darling yesterday urged the nation, "Go on!, Get back on the Fags and Booze!" Worried by a huge fall in revenue and the need to top up the tax coffers, the gov't has overuled...
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Funny story: Ken Barlow brings peace to Iraq

Ken Barlow brings peace to Iraq

Unbelievable, but since Iraqi TV began showing "Coronation St" 6 months ago, violence has decreased by 87% on the streets of Iraq. Where force and diplomacy have failed, "Our Ken" and the cast of "Coro" have had a huge impact on the situation in t...
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Funny story: Claus plc. in receivership

Claus plc. in receivership

After several days of uncertainty, Claus plc. was today in the hands of receivers D'Toilette and Down. The UK institution with it's iconic Father Christmas brand appears to be well and truly stuffed. Dating back to the 1920's Claus was set up in the...
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Funny story: Jeremy Clarkson in Sex-change Shocker

Jeremy Clarkson in Sex-change Shocker

6'5' "Jells" Clarkson hinted recently that he "might go all the way - you know, chop off the old todger, mount it on a plinth, award it annually in a 'prick of the year' ceremony. 'His Tonyness' springs to attention for the first one", he went on, w...
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Breaking News...

Santa's Grotto now to include Customer Returns Line

Unwanted Presents can now be returned over a Lapland phone - line. Elves won't man phones as headsets incompatible with Ears.
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