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Funny story: T'Northern Lights

T'Northern Lights

Flare are back - Due to t'solar flare today t'Northern Leets are visible as far South as Royston. T'Northern leets are due to t'emissions of photons in the t'Earth's upper atmosphere, above 80 km (50 miles), from t'ionized nitrogen atoms regaining...
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Funny story: Ronaldo Transfer for 80 million (pesetas)

Ronaldo Transfer for 80 million (pesetas)

Manchester Utd manager Sir Alec Ferguson was fuming today when he found out that the transfer fee paid for Christiano Ronaldo was not 80milion pounds as originally thought but was actually 80million pesetas. Traditional Values Although pesetas...
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Funny story: Blackburn Stick with Araldite

Blackburn Stick with Araldite

Blackburn today announced that their new manager would be ertswhile saviour of Newcastle United, big Sam Araldite. The appointment ushers in a new era at Ewok Park, and Big Sam has pledged to play the attractive, attacking style that brought sever...
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Funny story: Bush Thought Shoes Were Nukes

Bush Thought Shoes Were Nukes

Astonishing news today revealed that the shoes thrown at President Bush were thought to be the long lost 'weapons of mass destruction'. A spokesman for the CIA said, 'It clearly said NUKE,or something very similar, on the side of the shoes and thi...
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Funny story: Ronaldo Saves Face

Ronaldo Saves Face

Following his controversial sending off in the Manchester derby, Ronaldo spoke out for the first time today, 'I thought I heard my mum shout for me to come in for my tea, and as it was my ball, I was taking it home'. Ferguson defended his player,...
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Funny story: Leeds Pi$$ed on by Histon

Leeds Pi$$ed on by Histon

In a predictably one-sided game today, underdogs Leeds United were beaten by the once great Histon. Histon's win was put down to the state of the pitch (wet) and the appalling weather which the Leeds players had never experienced in the balmier cl...
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Funny story: Keane Walks Out

Keane Walks Out

Following today's shock defeat by Bolton, Roy Keane has walked out. After leaving the ground he sped home and emerged with his dogs, telling reporters that he was walking out, as the dogs had been inside all day and needed to go for a 'Ronaldo'.
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Funny story: Wenger Calls it a Day

Wenger Calls it a Day

After the worst spell in Arsenals history, Arsene Wenger has finally called it a day. In a statement today Wenger said, 'The last 23hrs and 59 minutes have been very difficult - in fact I'll call it a day - the last day has been very difficult.
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Funny story: Sergeant - Major Crisis for BBC

Sergeant - Major Crisis for BBC

John Seargeant has left the BBC show 'Strictly Cum Dancing' despite being the 'people's champion' and kept in the show by the votes of the proletariat. Broken Promises Following a visit from the Mitchell brothers, who pointed out to John the di...
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Funny story: Delap-idated Arsenal try New Strip

Delap-idated Arsenal try New Strip

Delap-idated Arsenal take on Villa this Saturday with new hope following last week's defeat by Stoke City. Up the Arsenal Still smarting from the shock defeat Arsend Wenger commented today, 'Although I didn't see the two goals that Stoke did sc...
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Funny story: BBC in Pudsey Litigation Storm

BBC in Pudsey Litigation Storm

Bear Facts Controversy surrounds the BBC again following the annual 'Children in Need Appeal'. For many years the BBC have used 'Pudsey Bear' a partially sighted children's toy as the 'face' of the appeal. However under an agreement that dates bac...
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Funny story: Drogba Coining It

Drogba Coining It

Didier Drogba was charged today by the police with criminal damage following the partial demolition of Stamford Bridge, when the Chelsea striker threw his wallet into the stand causing £1m worth of damage. The act of throwing the wallet caused Dro...
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Funny story: Large Hardon Collider Discovers Biggs Hoson

Large Hardon Collider Discovers Biggs Hoson

Swedish scientists working on the LHC (Large Hardon Collider) in Geneva believe that they have today discovered the 'big one' thought to be one of the key components of blue matter. Black Hole The existence of the Biggs Hoson has long since bee...
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Funny story: New Munchon Particle Discovered

New Munchon Particle Discovered

The large hadron collider was restarted today in a bold attempt to find the missing chocolate particle predicted by scientists since the famous J.S.Fry experiments of the last century. Research then suggested that along with the 5 chocons (despera...
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Funny story: Man Utd 2 Hull City 3

Man Utd 2 Hull City 3

The FA confirmed today that Hull City's win at Old Trafford will stand despite protests from Sir Alec Ferguson. Although many tigers fans left the ground thinking that their team had lost 4-3 it later transpired that Man Ure had breached a centuri...
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Funny story: Ferrari protest Hamilton World Championship

Ferrari protest Hamilton World Championship

White Man's Wheels - Following Lewis Hamilton's World Championship today Ferrari have launched a protest. A Ferrari spokesman said 'Our drivers have had to tool around in a car driven by old white Pete Stringfellow lookalikes' Although Massa wa...
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Funny story: Russell Brand Ate My Beaver

Russell Brand Ate My Beaver

A new storm today surrounded disgraced comedian Rustle Bland as his girlfriend alleged that he ate her pet 'Minky'. In an interview today it was revealed that after a binge drinking session, a row ensued which ended with Bland eating her beaver.
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Funny story: Relegation fears haunt Hull City

Relegation fears haunt Hull City

Despite another lucky win today, relegation fears continue to haunt Premier League newcomers Hull City. Doubts continue to dog the Northern club as they stand precariously at the top of the league. One premier league manager, Oneday (Yule) Ramus...
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Breaking News...

"Goop" Introduces Coal Egg

"Once you muster enough pelvic muscle strength to compress this baby into a diamond, you will have a beautiful gemstone to present to the man of your dreams," declared spokesmodel Gwyneth Paltrow.
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